Vic
Things have been... weird since Harry got home. Our dynamic has changed entirely, we talk everyday and we've hung out a few times, but it's not like before, there's no kissing, no dancing in the kitchen, no sleep overs. He's seemed more withdrawn, more distant since he's been home, everything has felt a little dull lately.
Harry was able to take the sling off yesterday as long as he was careful for the next few days, after having it on for a week, he was happy to be able to go out and not worry about everyone seeing he was hurt and having the media jumping all over it. I was going over to his house today to sit down with him and show him the final cut of pictures from our Gucci shoot in London. I was very proud of my work, the pictures look so great... he looks so great, I was so excited to show him the final results.
I knocked softly on his door and it took only a moment for him to open it and wave me in. I stepped in and he gave me a side hug, I kicked my shoes off and left them by the front door as I followed him into the living room, taking a seat beside him. We sat with enough space between us for another person to sit, and all I could think of was the times we sat so close I could feel the best from his leg on mine, and the times we were up under each other on these cushions. I shoved the thought out of my mind and placed my laptop on the coffee table in front of us and opened the file. I turned the screen to him and let him scroll through and take a look to make sure he liked them. He clicked through them and then started back from the beginning and stopped clicking through them, he looked up to me and back to the screen.
"This one might be my favorite." He said and turned the computer back to me to show me the picture he chose.
"I had a feeling you'd like that one." I told him and smiled thinking back to how proud of himself he was when he got the small sheep behind his neck to sit still for the perfect picture. "So, these are okay tho? I can send these back to them for final editing?" I asked and he smiled widely and glanced back at the picture one last time and then back to me.
"Yeah. These are amazing, you are amazing. Thank you again." He said and I smiled at the compliment. I placed the computer on my lap and closed the file and attached it to an email and sent it off. It's final, that's it, that was my first Gucci shoot, and it was amazing, and then it was terrible. I can't wait to see them actually printed, and in the magazine for everyone to see, it's so daunting, yet so exciting.
"Okay, they are sent." I told him with a smile and he gave me a soft smile back and nodded.
"What amazing team work." He said dryly and I nodded and felt my heart sunk a bit. I figured he'd be a little more excited having the shoot finally out of our hands and off for its final go around before being printed. This is exciting... so why isn't he happy?
He was radiating with his usually golden glow, he felt dulled and... grey. Was it because of me? No... not everything is about you Victoria.
"How's the shoulder feel?" I asked and he shrugged with one side and put his hand on it.
"It's not too bad, it's a little sore. I'm more upset about this scar that's gonna be on my forehead." He said scoffing and moving his hair from his face to show a bandaid cover his stitches.
"When do you go to get them out?" I asked and he let his hair fall back over the bandaid and sighed.
"They come out on Friday... just 3 more days." He said with a small smile and I smiled back offering some support.
This didn't feel right. This didn't feel like us. Small talk and sitting as far apart as we would if we were 15 sitting in the same room as my dad. This sign warm, this feels cold and this feels lonely. This didn't feel like us.
I took a deep breath and slid my laptop into my bag and stood up. I walked to the door and slid my shoes back on, Harry was still sitting on the couch staring at his hands. That's it? I come over, show him some pictures, and leave without as much as a wave goodbye? Maybe I am just the photographer, now.
"That's it then... see you later?" I said, he looked up at me standing by the door and gave me a smile.
"I'll see you later, Vic." He said lightly and I nodded and let myself out. The dry heat of June in California was brutal compared to the air conditioning inside, I hurried to my car and rolled all the windows down quickly as I waited for my car to properly heat up so the air would be cold when I turned the A/C on.
I left feeling a little empty and down. He didn't seem to really care about me being there or what we were doing, he didn't seem to care about how big this whole thing is for the two of us. He didn't seem to care. The conversations have just felt forced for the last week, they felt forced and inconvenient... for him, and It's starting to feel like, maybe, that's just how he feels about me as well.
I pulled into my parking space and turned my car off, I pulled out my phone and texted Sophia. I told her I just needed someone to rant to and that Arlo, was already missing her.
I walked into my apartment and kicked my shoes off and walked to the kitchen to grab a water from the fridge. I walked to the couch and slouched down, turning on the tv and clicking through channels for a while before letting 'Friends' play on the screen.
I could hear the door unlock and I knew Soph was here, she opened the door and locked it behind her when she closed it. She kicked her shoes off beside mine and came and took a seat beside me.
"Hey, how was your date with.... Chloe?" I asked and she rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"It was good, and her name is Courtney." She stated with a small smirk as she blushed.
"Soph....are you... blushing? Sophia Gibson, blushing over a date? Wow, could this be... serious?" I asked sarcastically and she walked my arm as she rolled her eyes.
"I don't know yet, shut up. I'm here to listen to you. So spill." She said and got comfortable on the couch, putting her feet on the table.
"Ever since London... Harry's been very, off? He's just been so distant and when we do talk it's just small talk, and he's barely even present in the conversation. There's no closeness anymore, we won't even sit within a foot of each other on the couch." I told her and sighed and shook her head. "Everything got fucked up, I was trying to avoid this happening but... here we are." I added and she gave me a sympathetic look. "It just feels so shitty, knowing he doesn't even...care? I went over today to show him shots form the Gucci shoot and he barely even cared, he picked his favorite but there was no excitement about it, not like when we first got to London."
"I'm gonna be super real with you right now, okay? This whole hot and cold thing he's doing right now, isn't fair. You're trying, and he doesn't seem to be, it is not fair. But, with that being said, I have also as happy as you have been with him, ever. Talk to him, make him listen, do not walk away until you get an answer." She told me and I sighed and nodded. She was right, I needed to talk to him and make him hear what was saying. I needed him to tell me what was going on in his mind right now. I need my best friend back.
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I know this chapter is a little short but it's a skunk update so get ready for the next chapter!!
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Love love love, r