Roseanne stared up at the structure in front of her and let out a shaky breath. Finding Jennie Kim's apartment building hadn't been hard. It was a brand new development on the Upper East Side and Roseanne had passed by it several times before and wondered what it would cost to live in such a place. She took in the sleek and modern architecture and tall, shiny windows and focused on breathing.
She glanced at the time on her cell. She was early, but not too early, and after a couple of calming breaths she made her way toward the doorman.
"Ms. Kim is waiting for you," he said, after she'd convincingly proved her identity. He opened the door and tipped his hat.
Roseanne stepped inside. The lobby was busy with people in business suits talking on cells or with each other. There were chairs and couches that made Roseanne think of IKEA furniture but that probably cost much more. What am I doing here? Roseanne wondered as she started toward the elevators. She couldn't have felt more out of place. She thought of her own building: dark and dingy and falling apart; the light past the front door flickering in and out. Any day now she'd walk in to find no light at all, and then it would take a week or so for the landlord to bother fixing it.
Roseanne called for the elevator.
A woman in a pink velour track suit walked up. She fixed her perfect blonde curls in the nearest reflection she could find and glanced Roseanne up and down out of the corner of her eye.
The doors opened and an older woman walked out yelling something at the two men behind her, who apologized severely for whatever infraction they'd committed. Their voices echoed in the lobby, mixing with the others in a chorus of pretention.
Roseanne stepped into the elevator after the track suit lady, who waited with a bored expression to see what button Roseanne pushed.
A model-perfect brow lifted slightly at the sight of the other lit button on the panel. "Are you sure you've got the right floor, honey? There's only one apartment up there."
The tone aimed for politeness, Roseanne guessed, but fell short. "I'm sure," she said.
"I heard a movie star moved into the penthouse," the lady said conversationally, her tone softening ever so slightly at the thought that perhaps she was standing beside someone who knew someone important.
Roseanne only offered a tight smile in reply, and waited quietly for the doors to open on the eleventh floor so the lady would leave. Nothing else was said between them, and the ride to Jennie Kim's penthouse apartment was blissfully free of interruptions.
The elevator doors opened into a brightly lit hallway and finding the actress' door was simple enough. Knocking was decidedly harder, and Roseanne looked at the time again just to make sure she wasn't late. She could always call and say she couldn't make it after all, that life had thrown a curve ball and her time would be swallowed up by other matters. She could always change her mind. There were other artists. Better artists. Artists far better suited to this type of work and this type of lifestyle.
It would be a lot easier on everyone if Roseanne changed her mind before Jennie Kim changed hers.
But then the door opened and Jennie Kim was suddenly standing in front of her wearing a big blue sweatshirt with a giant "Y" and the word "Bulldogs" emblazoned at the center and baggy light blue jeans that were frayed at one knee. She looked so different that Roseanne almost didn't recognize her.
The actress was looking at her apologetically. "You looked like you were about to bolt back to the elevator."
Roseanne must have looked confused because the actress pointed to the camera above the door. Of course, Roseanne thought.
"Please come in?" Jennie Kim said in a tone that sounded almost like pleading. "I promise if you absolutely don't want to do this, you don't have to. But since you're here ..."
Yes, since I'm here, Roseanne thought and nodded, feeling embarrassed for being so transparent in her nervousness. The actress moved to the side, and Roseanne walked in, distracted instantly by the sight of the apartment. The ceiling was at least twenty feet high, and the windows stretched all the way up, leaving a clear view of Manhattan. The walls were pristine white and the floors were light, polished hardwood.
Everything was so beautiful that it took Roseanne a minute to realize that there was no furniture anywhere; no chairs, no couches, no tables. And then the smell of coffee reached her nose and she was distracted all over again.
"Would you like some coffee?" The actress had closed the door and was on the move. Roseanne noticed that she was barefoot and she wondered if she should take off her own shoes. She felt a bit like she was standing in a museum, though it was far warmer, and there was nothing to look at but a beautiful actress that at this moment looked very much like any other person; someone that might've sat beside her in class, or passed by her at a coffee shop.
And the thought of coffee reminded Roseanne that she'd been asked a question. "Um, sure. I'd love some," she said, and followed the actress.
The kitchen was open, facing the incredible view of the city, and everything in it looked like it came out of a professional chef's dream. Jennie Kim might've not had any furniture but she'd clearly spent a fortune on kitchen appliances. "Did you find the building okay?"
"It was hard to miss," Roseanne told her, leaning against the black marble countertop, before thinking perhaps she shouldn't touch anything at all. She moved away and tried not to stare as Jennie Kim moved around the kitchen.
"Yeah, it's a bit of an eyesore." The actress placed a mug in front of Roseanne. "Black?"
Roseanne frowned briefly. "How did you know?"
Jennie Kim smiled and walked to the refrigerator. She took out a bottle of milk and said, "It was in your bio. From the program at the gallery. It said your biggest addictions were ..." She scrunched up her face in thought and counted off in one hand, "Salvador Dali paintings ... watching really bad movies with your best friend ... and black coffee."
Roseanne vaguely recalled writing that. "Oh." She looked down at the steam rising from the mug. "I didn't think anyone actually read those."
The actress poured milk into her own mug. "Well, before inviting you over, I wanted to check that your hobbies didn't include murdering celebrities."
"Oh they edited that part out." Roseanne offered half a smile and picked up her coffee. It was hot but delicious, and she wondered what brand it was.
The actress grinned and then proceeded to put about six spoonfuls of sugar into her mug. Roseanne must have looked horrified because Jennie Kim stopped what she was doing. "What's wrong?"
Roseanne looked down and away. "Nothing."
"No, really. What's the matter?"
Roseanne looked back up and sighed. "You're just massacring that poor coffee."
Brown eyes regarded her curiously, then dropped down to look between the spoon of sugar in her hand and the mug. She looked up again. "I am?"
"Completely. You probably shouldn't even call it coffee now."
"What should I call it?"
The actress looked amused, and Roseanne was relieved that she hadn't offended her. "I don't know ... 'noffee'." She rolled her eyes at her inability to come up with anything better. "You should try it pure ... sometime ... I mean, if you want." She felt like an idiot. She was sure the next words out of the actress' mouth would be, "Who are you to tell Jennie Kim how to take her coffee?"
But Jennie simply shrugged, and said, "Okay." And she poured the contents of her mug into the sink. She rinsed the mug and filled it back up again. "Better?"
Roseanne was too surprised to comment. She watched as the actress attempted a sip only to make a face that Roseanne had never seen before.
"That's disgusting," she said, and Roseanne found herself laughing.
"It's an acquired taste," Roseanne admitted, and drank her own contentedly.
Jennie Kim picked up the milk again. "I think I'll just enjoy my 'noffee' instead."
Roseanne only smiled to herself. She was starting to feel glad that she hadn't run away, or rather, that the actress had caught her before she did. She would have hated to miss out on the face Jennie Kim had made.
And also the coffee was divine.
-
Jennie tried not to focus on the fact that Roseanne Park was in her apartment, and tried instead to concentrate on being herself. At least, the closest approximation to herself she could be considering how nervous she was. She had spent her entire morning staring anxiously at the time, willing it to go faster or maybe stop altogether; she went back and forth depending on her level of panic.
And now that they were standing only a few feet apart, Jennie felt an undercurrent of excitement, which somehow surpassed her ever-present fears. Roseanne was standing in her apartment, looking as beautiful as Jennie remembered; yet she was acutely aware of the artists' nervousness which radiated through every word and every movement and served to make Jennie wonder if they could ever be anything beyond strangers standing awkwardly in a room.
Jennie noticed that Roseanne was still wearing her jacket, and she kicked herself for not having noticed sooner. "I'm sorry. I'm a terrible hostess. Are you too warm?"
Roseanne glanced down at herself; at the black Converse, the flared jeans, or just at the jacket itself, Jennie wasn't sure. "Um," said the artist, "a bit."
Jennie would've given anything to make Roseanne feel at home. But how could she? There wasn't even any furniture. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I turned up the heat like crazy because I'm not used to the cold." She glanced around. "I can show you where to put your stuff, if you want." She headed for the stairs. At least her bedroom had some semblance of personality.
Roseanne followed several steps behind and at the top step she paused and looked around. "This is your room?"
Jennie took in the semi-open space, trying to see it as Roseanne did. "Yeah it wasn't supposed to be, exactly. I think it was meant to be like a ... den ... or an office. It's a lot smaller than the master bedroom, but I like that it's open. I like just walking up the stairs and being in my room. And it's cool just looking down at everything. Plus," and here she pointed upwards, "I really love that."
Roseanne glanced up and noticed the skylight. Her face broke into a smile at the sight of it. "That's so cool. I love this," she said, motioning to the room in general. "I'd love a bedroom like this. Mine is so ... dark."
Jennie didn't know what to say to that, because her only instinct was to offer her every possession to Roseanne on a silver platter. "You can just drop everything on the bed."
The artist placed the bag on the floor and removed her jacket, but kept her scarf, which Jennie remembered from the day at the theater. Underneath, she wore a black hoodie sweatshirt with a faded pattern across the chest. She tossed the jacket on the bed and regarded Jennie with a somewhat expectant expression.
Jennie hadn't planned on bringing Roseanne to her room, and having her there felt strangely intimate. She had to remind herself that Jennie Kim and Roseanne Park weren't friends. Not yet. Maybe not ever. "So," she said, turning to look down at the apartment below. "What do you think?"
Roseanne walked over and stood beside her. She looked pensive as she surveyed the view. "I'm not really even sure what you want."
At that moment Jennie wanted many things that could never be. Being that close to Roseanne was distracting and she moved away. "I was thinking a mural."
"A mural?"
Jennie nodded. "Yeah, on that big wall when you first walk in."
"And what do you want me to paint on this wall?"
"Anything you like." Jennie shrugged. "You can do graffiti art for all I care." She looked around. "It's just all so boring, you know? I'd love to walk in and see something original."
Roseanne was looking at her strangely. "You seriously want me to paint your wall?"
"Is that weird?"
"Well, what if you don't like it?"
Jennie figured there was little chance of that. She'd seen a few of Roseanne's paintings. In fact, she owned four of them, and there was nothing about them she didn't love. "I think what you do with a paintbrush is magical," she said, knowing that if anything else between them could be construed as a lie, that this, above all else, was the absolute truth. "I doubt there's anything you could do that I wouldn't love."
Roseanne looked momentarily speechless and Jennie decided to save her from having to say something. "I opted not to buy any furniture until you knew what you wanted to paint. I didn't want to limit or influence your creativity in any way."
Roseanne sighed. "I think you think I'm something that I'm not. You'd be better off just hiring a professional."
"And what are you?"
"I'm just an art student."
"Oh." Jennie wondered what Roseanne was really afraid of.
"I don't want to waste your time, Ms. Kim. I don't even know if I can come up with anything to paint."
Jennie looked at the artist thoughtfully. She wondered how it was possible for someone so talented to be so unsure of herself. Jennie might have accepted any number of excuses from Roseanne, but self-doubt was certainly not one of them. "Well, I guess I have a problem then."
"You do?"
Jennie nodded. "I mean, there are other artists who do beautiful work, don't get me wrong, but out of all of them, you're the only one I want." That hadn't been quite what she'd intended to say, and if she were the type to blush, she would have. But it was the truth, at least, in more ways than one, and she liked being able to tell the truth.
Roseanne only stared at her.
"You can take as long as you want to come up with whatever it is you end up painting. I'm in no hurry. My guests can just sit on the floor."
There was a flicker of a smile on Roseanne Park's lips. And then, "Let me see this wall."
-
Roseanne agreed to it, in the end. She agreed to a mural and whatever else Jennie Kim wanted her to do because she had run out of excuses, and turning this opportunity down would be monumentally stupid. But there were other reasons, too. She'd been surprised by the actress' words, and her praise, which had seemed to Roseanne at once genuine and pleading, flattered her. For whatever reason, Jennie Kim wanted her to paint for her, and Roseanne could think of no higher compliment than that.
"I guess I can come up with some rough sketches and you tell me what you like best," Roseanne suggested.
The sound of the lock at the door echoed softly through the large apartment, interrupting whatever the actress might've said next, and Roseanne turned to see a young woman enter the apartment. She looked vaguely familiar, and Roseanne thought she might have seen her at the gallery. Her hair was reddish brown and was clipped back away from her face. She was young, in her mid-twenties, Roseanne guessed, and was dressed in jeans and a black pea coat. She carried in her hand a plastic bag and had a cell phone to her ear. "... well, you're not supposed to reheat a cheeseburger for ten minutes in the microwave! What did you think was going to happen? Anyway, I just got to Jennie's. I'll call you later. Please don't burn anything down." She noticed Roseanne and Jennie watching her and looked surprised. The phone snapped shut. "Sorry, I'm just dropping this off," she said, lifting up the bag in her hand.
"Roseanne, this is my assistant, Jisoo Kim. Jisoo, this is Roseanne Park."
Jisoo walked over and shook Roseanne' hand. "Pleasure to meet you," she said kindly. "I'm sorry to interrupt." To Jennie, she said, "Where do you want these?"
Roseanne idly wondered what was in the bag, out of curiosity and nothing more.
The actress waved in the general direction of nowhere in particular and said, "Anywhere is fine. Thanks, Jisoo."
"I live to serve," she said, as her cell phone rang again. She made an apologetic face and answered, while moving off in the direction of the kitchen. "... she's busy at the moment, but I can have her get back to you ..."
Roseanne regarded the actress. "I should get going," she said, because she suddenly felt like she'd been there too long and maybe Jennie Kim had other matters to attend to. "I've got some errands to run." She didn't know why she felt the need to make up an excuse.
"Sure, let me get your stuff," the actress replied, and headed up the stairs.
The assistant was off the phone by the time she walked back over. She smiled at Roseanne. "It was really nice to meet you. I really loved your work when I saw it at the gallery."
Roseanne returned the smile. "Thanks. That means a lot."
Jisoo waved and headed for the door. "I'm off to make sure Kai didn't burn down the apartment!" she said loud enough for Jennie would hear. "See you later!"
The actress was walking down the stairs, Roseanne's jacket and bag in hand. "Have fun," she said to Jisoo.
And then they were alone again. Roseanne accepted her belongings. "Thanks. Oh, and um, how should I ... uh, contact you?"
"Oh! Right. Hang on." Jennie Kim rushed back up the stairs, taking them two at a time, which Roseanne found amusing. She returned moments later with a pen and a small notebook. "Let me give you Jisoo's number. You can get in touch with her any time." She started to write, then glanced up, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry. I'm a little hard to reach sometimes, so it's just easier if you go through her."
Roseanne didn't know why Jennie Kim felt the need to apologize to her. But she shrugged anyway and proclaimed it okay. She took the piece of paper when it was offered to her.
At the door, Jennie Kim said, "Thanks for doing this," she said, her tone soft and somewhat vulnerable.
The thought of Jane popped into Roseanne's mind and it suddenly hit her just how similar their voices were. She almost laughed at the thought. "I just hope you don't end up regretting it..."
The actress shook her head at her, and then said, "Oh, I almost forgot." She took an envelope out of her back pocket and pointed it at Roseanne. "I know we never discussed a fee, but I thought this might be enough to get you started."
Roseanne tentatively accepted the envelope and peeked inside. She didn't know what she'd expected, but certainly not this. "Ten thousand dollars?" She offered the envelope back. "I'm sorry, Ms. Kim. That's entirely too much money. All I did was stare at a wall."
"Please call me Jennie. And that seems to be the going rate for staring at walls these days. I Googled it."
Roseanne tried to think of something to reply back to that but her mind went blank. She lowered her arm.
"Take it," Jennie insisted.
Roseanne wondered what ten thousand dollars actually meant to someone like Jennie Kim. It was probably what she spent a week on shoes. But to Roseanne, it was a ridiculous amount of money. "I think you're insane," she said, before she could stop herself.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
The actress smiled, and Roseanne found herself thinking how unfair it was for someone to be that beautiful. She smiled back. "I guess I'll be in touch."
"I look forward to it."
Roseanne walked away then. As she waited for the elevator, she glanced back, but Jennie Kim had disappeared inside her apartment. She glanced down at the envelope in her hand. She'd never held a check with so many zeros attached to it before.
She didn't think about the money, though, on her ride back down to earth. She thought mostly of Jennie Kim's words, and how nice it felt to have someone else believe in her.