Jennie stifled a yawn and stole a glance at the time on her cell phone. The day had been a long one, starting with a 5:00 a.m. wake-up call that Jisoo had set up and Jennie had forgotten about until the voice on the other side of the phone had welcomed her cheerfully into consciousness. Many hours later, Jennie sat inside a room inside a building somewhere in New York City, watching fellow actors – some of whom she recognized, some of whom she didn't - audition for a part in Irene Bae's next film.
An actress Jennie recognized but couldn't place walked into the room, looking politely hopeful. The people in the room welcomed her kindly, if a bit tiredly, and asked her to begin whenever ready.
In the center of the room, a camera rolled, and Jennie watched the girl's monologue with growing interest. Sana Minatozaki, Jennie remembered the girl's name suddenly. She was auditioning for the role of Jennie's younger sister, and Jennie thought, watching as the girl read off the lines on the paper, that Sana Minatozaki would be perfect for the part.
Irene was the first to thank her when the girl was done, and Jennie could sense the smile on the director's face the second Sana Minatozaki had left the room. "That's our Sara."
Jennie silently agreed. It had been a long day, but it was looking up.
"What did you think, Jennie?"
Jennie looked at the director. "She's perfect."
Irene looked pleased. "We'll have her come back and read with Jennie tomorrow, then. Just to be sure." She stretched. "The good news is we're done for the day."
"Thank God," the guy working the camera said with a laugh, and everyone let out a collective chuckle of agreement.
Jennie turned the sound back on her phone, only to have it chime in her hand the moment she did so. The name "Roseanne" stared up at Jennie from the digital display screen and she blinked a few times to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. She felt her heart speed up as she answered. "Impressive timing," she said by way of greeting, and she felt everyone's eyes on her suddenly. Irene's looked particularly curious. Jennie averted her gaze, feeling embarrassed. Her tone of voice, Jennie realized, changed considerably when talking to Roseanne.
"Is that right?" came Roseanne's voice. "Why's that?"
"I was just finishing up something," Jennie said, knowing, as she said it, that it would lead to questions. She quickly added, "Actually, could I call you back in five minutes?"
"Ah, so my timing was actually off by five minutes." Roseanne sounded amused. "I'll have to work on that. Talk to you in five then."
It turned out to be closer to twenty minutes. Getting to a place of privacy took longer than Jennie had anticipated, especially after Yeri Kim suckered Jennie into a conversation about designer shoes that Jennie thought would never end. But it had ended, eventually, somehow, and Jennie had escaped.
She began dialing as her limo driver opened the door for her. She'd given Jisoo the day off to spend with Kai, and Jennie was suddenly grateful for the solitude.
"Satan's house of kinky sex worship," came a voice that wasn't Roseanne's. "How may I spank you?"
"What are the options again?" Jennie asked, playing along.
Lisa didn't miss a beat. "You'll have to speak to our resident sexpert, Mistress Spankalot. Oh and here she comes now—"
"I told you not to answer my phone," said Roseanne, in a voice that sounded far away. And then, closer, "Hello?"
Jennie smiled into the phone. It had been less than 24 hours since they'd spoken face to face, but it felt like longer. The previous evening felt like a dream. "Satan's house of kinky sex worship?"
Roseanne laughed. "Sorry about that."
"And I'm sorry that my five minutes turned into almost half an hour. Are we even?"
"Sure, that seems fair."
Jennie watched the scenery outside the window. If she'd been honest with Roseanne from the start, would they be having this conversation? How nice it would be to be able to say, "I'm free for the evening, do you want to grab dinner? I'm in the neighborhood. I could pick you up." But she hadn't been honest from the beginning. "So, how did it go last night? Tell me everything."
"I was going to email you all about it, but then I decided to call you up instead. So, last night. Hm. Last night was definitely interesting."
"Oh?"
"Well, there was this stupid subway malfunction, and my parents couldn't make it. And my sister couldn't make it either because my step-father is insane. But on the plus side, my artwork all sold. Someone bought them all. Crazy huh?"
Yes, I am, Jennie thought. "Congratulations," she said.
"I wish I felt happier about it."
"You don't?"
"No. I mean, I do. I just ... there was one ... and this is going to sound really stupid, but there was one I wanted to keep."
"Oh." Jennie frowned, wondering which one.
"For you," Roseanne added softly a moment later; then quickly followed it up with, "I know that sounds kinda weird..."
Jennie's heart was doing strange things. She didn't know what to say.
"I've embarrassed you," Roseanne said. "I'm sorry. It's just that when I was painting it, I thought of you. I thought it would be something you would like. A kind of sequel to the one you bought ... or something. Anyway, I didn't think it would sell which is why I agreed to display it but well ... it sold. I did take a picture. I can send you the picture."
Jennie found her voice. "Yes, I'd love to see it."
"Cool. Um. So, anyway. Uh, Jennie Kim showed up at the gallery, which was pretty surprising."
Jennie swallowed nervously. "Wow," she said, knowing it sounded horribly flat. She couldn't muster fake enthusiasm for herself.
"I know," Roseanne said, "I wasn't all that excited either."
Jennie felt something painful in her chest. "Oh, you don't like her?" she forced herself to ask, thinking, as she spoke, that she didn't really want to know the answer.
"As a rule, I'm generally not into the whole celebrity, Hollywood stardom thing. I think the world has better things to focus on, you know?"
"Absolutely."
"And truthfully, she always seemed kind of a bimbo to me."
Jennie frowned. She'd been called many things in her life, but never a bimbo. "She went to Yale, you know," she found herself saying before she could stop.
"Yeah, but she's famous..."
"And graduated second in her class!" This she nearly yelled. "A very close second."
"Whoa, whoa, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were a fan."
What the hell am I doing? Jennie ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. "I'm not a fan. I just ... um ... don't think she's a bimbo."
"Well I don't either," Roseanne said, "anymore."
"Oh."
Roseanne started laughing. "Do you have a crush on her or something?"
"No," Jennie said, thinking the question so ridiculous she almost laughed. "She's not really my type."
"Really? I'm surprised. I mean, she's pretty hot."
"You think I ... uh, she's hot?"
"I thought everyone did. I think Lisa put her on her list of celebrities she'd have a threesome with."
"Oh, she's not on yours?" Jennie asked.
"Uh, I don't have a list of celebrities I'd have a threesome with." How about a twosome? Jennie thought, but quickly pushed the question aside. "Do you?" Roseanne asked.
"I'm not really a threesome kind of girl," Jennie said.
Roseanne laughed. "How did we get on this subject again?"
"I'm pretty sure you brought it up."
"So I did. Huh. Anyway, yeah, last night was interesting. And I think Jennie Kim is actually pretty nice. I mean, I haven't met any other famous people to compare her to but in human terms, she was nice."
Jennie smiled. "I'm glad you had a good time last night."
"Yeah, it was good. Jaehyun came. He invited me out for a drink after but I was too tired. I think I will ask him out for coffee one of these days though. I think we have a lot in common."
"Great," Jennie said, but she knew she didn't mean it. And the fact that she knew she didn't mean it, worried her. I will not fall for a straight girl, she thought. I absolutely will not.
"So, what about you? Any romantic prospects?"
"Nope."
"What about She-Who-Saved-You-From-the-Perils-of-Boring-Conversation? I was gonna give her an acronym but I think it's too long ... SWSY ... FPBC ... how would you pronounce that? Sausy." Roseanne laughed. "Sausy Fipbic"
Jennie laughed. "Sausy is not a romantic prospect. She's someone I spend time with on a professional basis. And that's it."
"That's how many of history's most torrid love affairs have started."
"Mm. I doubt any of them involved someone named Sausy Fipbic."
Roseanne giggled. "That's not really her name. What's her name?"
Jennie hesitated. "Irene. Irene Fipbic."
Roseanne was laughing, and Jennie knew she was quickly becoming addicted to that sound.
"I'm sorry to say this, but I have to go," she said regretfully, watching as the hotel came into view. The last thing she needed was her real name getting called while on the phone with Roseanne.
"Yeah, I should start getting ready for tonight, anyway. Email me?"
It was the first time Roseanne had ever asked her for anything, and Jennie recognized at that moment that there would be nothing she would deny the artist. "You got it."
"Later, Jane."
She snapped the phone closed just as the limo rolled to a stop. A man smiled cheerfully as he opened the door for her. "Welcome back, Ms. Kim."
-
"Get Wendy on the phone," Jennie said the moment Jisoo opened the hotel room door.
Jisoo frowned. "I thought I had the day off?"
"That was before I found out about the bimbo image crisis," Jennie stated seriously. She glanced over Jisoo's shoulder at Kai, who was doing his best to cover himself with a sheet. She smirked. "Sorry to interrupt."
Jisoo shook her head and stepped out into the hallway, closing the door. "You didn't. He's just a nudist. What's this about a bimbo crisis?"
"People think I'm a bimbo."
"What people?"
"Some people."
"But you went to Yale."
Jennie laughed wryly. "Well! Apparently if you're famous, people think you attend an entirely different school called Yale. Yale School for Total Morons." She paused. "I wanted to do a really witty thing there, like Yale as an acronym but all I can come up with for the Y is ... Yemen."
"Are you okay?"
"Do I look okay?" Jennie asked.
Kai opened the door, dressed in a white t-shirt and black sweatpants. "Is this girl talk or can I join in?"
"I think Jennie is having a meltdown."
Jennie pushed her way into the hotel room. "Rosie thinks - thought, or hell, maybe she still thinks – that I'm a bimbo. A bimbo! Me!" She started pacing. "Call Wendy and tell her she's fired as my publicist unless she can turn me into the Albert Einstein of celebrities by tomorrow. I can't have people thinking I'm an idiot."
"Maybe if you wore your glasses more," Kai suggested, only to get elbowed in the stomach by Jisoo.
"It was that stupid SoW Award ceremony, or whatever the hell it was called. I should have never agreed to it," Jennie said. "She probably saw me say that thing they made me say about how much I love my hair, only to cut out all the other stuff after that so it was just a shot of me going, 'I totally love my hair.' I'm gonna sue those bastards. Can I sue them?"
"Uh," said Jisoo. "I'll check on that."
Jennie sat down on the bed. "I'm not having a meltdown."
"Okay," said Kai, leaning against the nearest wall and crossing his arms. "So, if I'm reading through all of the b.s. correctly, you're freaking out that Roseanne turned out to be way hotter than she appeared in all of your X-rated, girl-on-girl fantasies, and now you're worried that you won't be able to dodge Cupid's arrows forever because he's aiming them straight at your oversensitive, undersexed heart."
Jennie opened her mouth to say something, but shut it. Kai smirked. "Just how hot is this girl?" Jennie fell back on the bed and covered her face with the nearest pillow.
"You just need to get laid. You've got way too much pent up sexual frustration making you all angsty and confused. Find a chick you think is moderately attractive and that you trust to be discreet, tear her clothes off, and let go. You'll feel better, trust me."
Jennie tossed the pillow aside and sighed at the ceiling. "You know what? Fuck it. You're right." She got up from the bed. "You guys have been a lot of help."
"We have?" Kai arched an eyebrow.
Jisoo frowned. "Do you still want me to call Wendy?"
"No. Enjoy the rest of your day off."
"Where are you going?"
At the door, Jennie paused. She smiled. "I'm going to call Irene."
-
"I have to admit," Jaehyun began, "I was a bit surprised that you called me."
"You mean, as opposed to Lisa calling you?"
Jaehyun laughed and nodded. "Something like that, yeah."
Roseanne looked around the café, at the rows of empty tables. She and Jaehyun were the only people there, and it felt strangely intimate. She turned back to him. "I guess I wanted to thank you for coming to the gallery the other night. I did intend to call you myself to invite you to that, but Lisa beat me to the punch."
Jaehyun chuckled. "She said something about you being rusty with any method of communication not involving the Internet."
Roseanne rolled her eyes and shook her head, idly stirring the coffee in front of her. "She's just jealous because I made a friend online. Lisa is easily threatened and overly possessive." She paused. "But ... not in a creepy, Single White Female type of way. She just—"
"She cares, I get it," Jaehyun said, nodding. "It's nice having a friend like that."
"It is. She's like a sister."
"I always wanted a sister," Jaehyun said. "Got two brothers instead; one younger, one older."
"Me too," Roseanne said. "Well, sisters. My older sister is really a step-sister, but I'm closer to her than my real sister, who's a complete ass."
Jaehyun smiled.
Roseanne bit her lip and took a deep breath. "Look, before we continue forth with this conversation, I just want you to know that I'm not trying to confuse you or lead you on or anything. I'm still not sure I'm ready to—"
"Roseanne," Jaehyun said, interrupting. "Relax. Really. I'm not expecting anything or reading into this in any way. I'm mostly flattered that you'd want to spend time with me at all. So, just drink your coffee. I'll drink mine. And that's all this has to be."
Roseanne studied his face for a moment. Sensing his honestly, she relaxed. "Okay."
"Of course, Lisa did tell me you were going to sleep with me the other night, and you didn't, so we should probably get on that."
Roseanne froze, cup of coffee half-way to her lips. Jaehyun started laughing. "I'm sorry. Lisa begged me to say that, and I couldn't resist."
Roseanne put the coffee down and shrugged. "Well, I was going to ask when you wanted to 'get on that', as you put it. But since you were just kidding..."
It was Jaehyun's turn to freeze. "Uh..."
Roseanne grinned. "Sorry, couldn't resist."
Jaehyun shook his head. "Touché."
-
Jennie stared at the menu in her hand, wondering what the hell she was doing. Across from her, Irene was on her cell phone, talking to someone about something that Jennie had given up trying to follow.
She hadn't called Irene after her alleged meltdown. She'd dialed the numbers and stared at them, but hadn't completed the call. She hadn't wanted to make a rash decision based on advice from Kai, of all people. But she'd thought about it. She'd thought about it all evening, and all night. And the truth was that Kai was right. She had to loosen up. It was either that or lose her mind.
She'd run into Irene at breakfast the next morning, and somewhere between the miniature croissants and the sliced strawberries, Jennie had summoned up the courage to ask Irene to dinner. The director had seemed surprised, but had accepted easily. And now here they were.
"... I'm having dinner with Jennie right now, can I call you back later? ... Yes ... yes ... I know. I promise I'll take care of it. Okay. Okay. Bye." Irene let out a sigh. "I'm shutting this off. I'm really sorry about that. Did I mention I hate producers? The lot of them can go to hell."
Jennie arched an eyebrow.
"I mean that in the nicest way possible, of course."
"Of course." Jennie smiled.
Irene took a deep breath. "Okay, let's just cut to the chase. Is it bad news?"
Jennie put the menu down and frowned at the director. "Is what bad news?"
"The reason you asked me to dinner. You're not dropping out, are you, Jennie? Please don't tell me you're dropping out of the film."
Irene didn't suspect a thing, Jennie suddenly realized. And why would she, Jennie thought. It's not as if she'd worn a 'Nobody Knows I'm a Lesbian' t-shirt. "I'm not dropping out," she said.
Irene let out a long breath. "Okay, I think my heart stopped beating there for a moment." She sat back. "Okay. Okay, good. Anything else I can handle. Lay it on me."
Well, I'm a closeted lesbian looking to lose my virginity in the hopes that doing so will salvage whatever's left of my sanity, and since you're the only attractive lesbian I know... Jennie cleared her throat in the attempt to clear her mind, and dared herself to look at Irene. "What makes you think I have any kind of news?"
A pale brow lifted in question. "You mean you don't?"
Jennie simply shook her head.
"Oh." Irene grinned. "How refreshing." She grabbed the menu. "Usually the only time actors invite me to dinner it's to let me down easy." She paused. "And there was this one time when one wanted to sleep with me." She laughed.
Jennie quickly averted her gaze and picked up the menu again. "And did you?" she asked after a moment. She'd had a couple of drinks before Irene had arrived, and now she was regretting that decision. The self-edit button was quickly headed toward out-of-service status.
Irene glanced up at the question. "No," she said, and then added, "Not really into men."
"Yeah, me neither," Jennie said under her breath.
"I'm sorry?"
Jennie caught Irene's gaze and almost repeated herself, but the waiter intervened. He took their orders while Jennie silently pondered what she was doing here.
The director was looking at her when Jennie glanced up. "I'd like to run something by you to see what you think," Irene said.
Jennie relaxed slightly at the thought of not having to come up with her own topic of conversation. "Go ahead."
"Last night at dinner one of the producers suggested that I play Samantha. Something that had honestly never crossed my mind, but that they had apparently given a lot of thought to during their clandestine meetings. Obviously, that's provided the perfect Samantha doesn't walk through the audition doors, but ... what do you think?"
Jennie blinked in surprise. This she hadn't expected: Irene playing her on-screen lover. She moved her head to the side, studying Irene thoughtfully. She regarded the light blonde hair, the silky strands pulled back in a way that reminded Jennie of Lara Croft. She imagined those green eyes looking back at her in a different context. She thought of Samantha's dialogue spoken in Irene's voice. It made sense, suddenly. "I could see that," Jennie said.
Irene looked pleasantly surprised. "Yeah? Well, I guess we'll see then. I'd still like to audition a few people. And maybe set up a screen test to see if you and I have any chemistry whatsoever in front of a camera."
Jennie took a sip of water and nodded because she couldn't think of anything to say. She'd lost her nerve. She thought she'd at least get around to coming out to Irene but she didn't know how to at this point. And maybe it was for the best. She'd been stupid to think she could, overnight, turn herself into the sort of person who'd make advances toward another woman. She wasn't that person; didn't know how to be that person, no matter how much alcohol was in her system. And Jennie knew that Irene would never come on to her; not without an invitation, and maybe not even then.
"May I ask you something?" Irene said suddenly.
"Shoot."
"When I first spoke to Nayeon about getting you for this film, she told me you'd never play a gay role. Then she called back and said you were considering it. What made you take it?"
Jennie was caught off-guard by the question. But the answer was simple enough. "I loved the script," she said honestly. "It's really beautiful. Though, I guess what really sold it for me was ... well, you."
Irene looked surprised. "Me?"
"You were different from most of the directors I usually meet with. Not yet corrupted, I guess." Jennie smiled. "I've been doing commercially viable movies for a long time, while waiting for something different to come along. And you delivered different. Great script, great role, intriguing director ... I couldn't refuse."
"Intriguing?" Irene grinned. "I don't think anyone's called me intriguing before."
"Well, there you go."
"Huh." Irene nodded to herself. "And your qualms about playing a gay role?"
Jennie sighed at the question. "It's not what you think. It's not that I have an issue with it because of any political or religious views or even because I'm uncomfortable with the idea. I just ... um ..." How to explain? "I just wanted to remain off the gay press' radar for as long as possible."
Irene frowned briefly at that. "That's a curious answer. Any particular reason?"
"I wanted to avoid speculation."
"Ah," Irene said, as if she understood. She smiled. "Well, they say that people thinking you're gay just means you've officially reached stardom."
"And I'd be all for them thinking it," Jennie said, finding courage, suddenly, "if in my case it weren't true."
Comprehension dawned on the director's face and she sat back in her chair, looking stunned. "Okay," she said, after a moment, "I think my brain just exploded."
Jennie laughed. She should have felt more nervous than she did. She should've felt more concern, even regret. But all she felt at that moment was relief.
And maybe just a tiny bit of panic.