Part Fourteen:
A Little Ride Home
Trevor's arm felt beyond amazing around my shoulders, and the feeling of his lean waist against my hand felt even better. I leaned into the taller boy, a shy grin on my lips as he gazed down at me affectionately, guiding us towards his car.
The sound of heavy footsteps approaching behind us were becoming louder and louder, fast. I peaked over my shoulder, catching a glimpse of the last person I had expected to see running towards Trevor and I on a school afternoon.
Still sporting his hockey base layers from training, Jack came barrelling towards us, his breathing ragged and a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead.
I pulled myself out of Trevor's tight grip, earning a confused frown from the boy, to which I replied with a nod in the approaching boys direction. Trevor turned to face his best friend, the expression he held a mixture of anxiety and annoyance. I wondered briefly why Trevor would feel that way about a boy he had proved, on more than one occasion, that he adored.
"Jones," Jack called out, his words tumbling unevenly from his lips with each deep breath. "Wa-it up!"
I came to a complete stop, turning my attention to face him head on. He approached with both hands behind his head, as if trying to work off a stitch, taking deep gasps in order to catch his breath.
How long had he been running?
"Hey, bro," Trevor grinned, though his tone made his statement come out as more of a question. "What's up?"
"Wan-ted to catch Milly," he breathed, clearing his throat before taking one last hindered breath. He brought his arms back down to his hips, standing in a way that accentuated his biceps and chest. "Hi, sorry. Milly, do you have a second?"
I lifted my chin to face Trevor, my eyes wide with a question that even I wasn't sure I knew the answer to. Was I looking at the taller boy because I was confused as to why my long term crush was approaching me now, or was I gazing at him in such a way because I was asking for permission? Either way, Trevor chuckled sweetly, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Don't look at me," he shrugged. "You can do whatever you like."
I turned back to the dark haired boy to catch him glancing at me with a gentle smile and soft, lazy eyes. Oh man, there was no way I could say no to him when he was looking at me like that.
I bit my lip softly. "Sure, Jack."
Placing my backpack on the floor beside Trevor's feet, I allowed Jack to lead me back towards the gym, watching the way the muscles in his shoulders moved as he went. He seemed tense, or nervous, somehow.
With one final glance back at Trevor, I caught him kicking at dirt on the ground, his hands in his pockets and a somewhat sad pout on his lips. My heart constricted in my chest, and I almost turned right back around, completely ignoring the boy I was so content on following and throwing myself in the strong arms of the blond haired boy in my wake.
But before I could so much as take a step back in the direction of the boy plaguing my mind, Jack spoke up.
"This is probably strange," he admitted, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he shifted from one foot to the other. "But I was just wondering if you wanted a lift home from me?"
My cheeks burned an awful shade of cherry red, and my heart hammered painfully in my chest. It was so loud I was positive Jack could hear it, but if he noticed, he didn't say anything.
"A . . . lift home?" I asked, my voice barely audible as I tried to suppress the image of Trevor's sad blue eyes from my mind.
Why had he looked so sad?
"Yeah," Jack shrugged, a smirk tugging at his lips. "Unless you and Trev are busy, then I get it, I'll leave you two alone."
"No!" I snapped, regretting it immediately. "No, we weren't busy. We were just gonna go home and study, but I can meet him back at home."
Jack peered over my shoulder, cocking his eyebrow at the emotions basically coming off of his best friend in waves. "Are you sure? He looks kind of bummed?"
"I, uh . . ." I turned to face Trevor once more, a sad frown pulling my lips down as I watched him look anywhere but at Jack and I. He wasn't sad that I was talking to another guy, was he? It wasn't like everything we were doing was supposed to go to waste. I mean, this is what the plan was. The lessons and flirting practice was finally paying off. Jack was talking to me, he was offering me a ride home. Trevor would understand, wouldn't he? "I don't know."
"Well, when I spoke to him today he said you guys were just friends," Jack admitted, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "So . . ."
"He said that, did he?" I asked, staring at the ground before me in deep thought. I didn't know what to do. I shouldn't even be torn like this in the first place. It's Jack I was talking about. The boy I've been infatuated over for years. It wasn't like I could turn this opportunity down. Trevor would be nothing but disappointed, and if I didn't say yes, I'd only be letting all his time and effort into helping me out go to waste.
"Is it okay if I just go check with him?" I asked, not wanting to sound like I needed Trevor's permission for everything that I did, but also not being entirely comfortable with the idea of leaving him for another boy, even if that was the end goal of our mission.
"I, uh, guess," Jack mumbled, giving me a look of confusion that I know he was hiding judgement behind. "I'll come with."
I turned back to Trevor, making my way towards him with a torn heart and stress running through my very bones. I was so nervous to ask if it'd be okay that I left with Jack that by the time I was face to face with him, I almost burst into tears for the second time in front of him that day. Pulling myself together, I tried my very best not to scream about how confusing teenage emotions were and summoned the courage to just spit it the hell out already.
"Hey, I'm going to give Milly a ride home, that cool?" Jack spoke, right as I opened my mouth to talk.
My eyes were wide as I watched Trevor closely for his reaction to such a statement from his apparent best friend. I guess, though, that if Trevor said I was just his friend, then it didn't matter.
He turned his attention to me, a whole universe of emotions behind his irises, though I couldn't make out any of them clearly. I stared up at him through my lashes, clasping both hands together in front of my skirt. Trevor let a grin take over his lips that I instantly recognised as forced, he chuckled sweetly, causing my chest to only close up more.
"Z?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. Please be honest.
"Yeah," he grinned, wide and toothy. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. "Course that's cool, man. I'll see you at home later, Mills."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Four months ago, maybe even a few weeks ago, I would have dismissed his bright smile and glimmering eyes as genuine happiness, maybe even smiled along with him. But today, I knew Trevor a little differently. The grin that didn't quite reach his eyes, the way his left hand shook by his side, the deep sadness behind his irises. A sadness you couldn't quite see unless you were looking for it.
"Have fun, you guys," he chucked. "Don't do anything I wouldn't!"
He lied. Trevor had just lied to me.
Jack picked my backpack up from the ground as I stood watching the hockey captain retreat. He held his arm out towards me, and I reached for my bag without so much as a word, my head and my heart feeling as though they were being pulled in two separate directions. I glanced at the vice-captain with a slight, nervous smile, which he returned with a flirtatious grin of his own.
"Come on, Jeep's over here."
I almost scoffed, but held my tongue, at the thought of him having a Jeep. Of course, he'd drive a Jeep.
We reached his car in no time, and I was surprised to see how nice it actually was. It was a gunmetal grey four door and black rims, though it hardly looked like a car that Jack would suit driving. But what did I know? I'd hardly spoken a word to the guy in my life.
He rushed to get ahead of me, before opening the passenger door and using his arm in a sweeping gesture, smirking as he bowed his head, guiding to the seat.
I was a horrible person, probably the worlds worst, in fact. Because, all I could think about was how if Trevor drove this Jeep and was dropping me home in it, he'd have run to the car, probably trying to slide over the hood in a parkour like fashion, before yanking himself into the driver side seat. He'd lean across the centre console, opening the door from the inside as he smirked at me, before telling me to 'get the hell in!'
"I'm gonna need you to direct me to your house," Jack chuckled, pulling me from my thoughts and closing the door once I was securely in his passenger seat.
I frowned thoughtfully, didn't he know that I was Trevor's neighbour?
"Actually," I murmured as he climbed into the chair of his own, turning the key and starting the SUV with a completely straight face that I was positive meant he was entirely bored. "I live in the house next door to Trevor's."
"Oh," Jack grinned slightly, winding down the windows all the way. "How did I not know this?"
I shrugged, turning my attention to the world outside as I thought of what my hockey captain was doing at this very moment. Was he driving by himself? Was he waiting at singing songs all alone? Was he eating a sub? There was a good chance he was eating a sub.
"So," Jack began, trying to start up a conversation but probably sensing that I was in no mindset for small talk. "You and Trevor seem . . . close?"
"Mmhmm," I hummed in agreement, glancing at his choice of music as I chewed on my lower lip, anxiety swimming around in the pit of my stomach.
"How long have you needed to ask his permission to hang out with other guys?" He teased, reaching across the squeeze my thigh in a way that had me wanting to jump out of the moving car and bolt back to my house on my own.
"I don't," I mumbled, crossing my legs over each other and shuffling around so my thighs were out of his reach. I don't know what was happening to me, why was I being like this? I'd wanted this for so long, so why wasn't I making the most of it? "It's just polite."
"Polite?" Jack chuckled. "I never see the two of you alone anymore. Since that night at the party you've been glued to each others hips."
"You don't like that?" I asked, my voice feathery light as insecurities ate at my chest.
"It's not that," he admitted, gripping the wheel with both hands. "I just . . . sometimes I want to catch you alone, you know?"
"Me?" I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest.
He grinned. "Yeah, you."
"Why?" I snapped, not intending for my tone to be as harsh as it probably was. "I'm sorry. I mean why?"
He laughed softly, scratching his cheek before bringing his hand to rest on the automatic shift stick. "I guess I find you interesting, Milly. I want to get to know you better."
"You remember how we were in elementary school, don't you?"
Jack was awful to me in elementary. Like, dump chocolate milk over my head twice a week awful.
"Of course I do," he grinned cheekily, pulling the Jeep into my driveway. "I'm just hoping that I'm not already too late."
"Too late?" I mumbled, stuck in my own thoughts. "Too late, how?"
"I think Trevor's waiting for you," Jack mumbled, nodding in the direction of the dark blond haired boy as he paced my front porch with his hands in his hair and his lips set in a frown. "I guess I've got my answer."
"Answer?" I wondered, turning to face the boy beside me with wide eyes. "What does that even mean?"
"Don't worry, go to Trevor, he looks like he needs you."
I cocked my head to the side as my stomach dropped with his words. He looked upset. Why did Jack look upset? "Jack?" I mumbled, reaching out to rest my hand against the sleeve of his jacket. He turned to me with those bright blue eyes I'd fallen for in freshman year, and I was almost too lost in them to form proper words. I sucked in a breath. "I . . . I don't think you're too late."
His lips turned up ever so slightly to the left, allowing me to see a hidden dimple deep within his cheek.
"I should go," I mumbled, far too flustered for my own good at this point. I was entirely afraid that if I opened my mouth one more time, something dreadful would come out. "Thanks for the ride, see you at school?"
"Yeah," he agreed, nodding in my direction. "Can't wait."
I nodded in response, copying his movements, before opening the passenger side door and making my way towards my house with my arms wrapped around my chest and my eyes cast to the floor. Trevor was by my side in moments, placing both hands on my shoulders as Jack reversed out of the driveway and sped away.
"You okay? How did it go? Was it amazing?" Trevor blabbered, sounding far more enthusiastic than he had half an hour ago at the school. "Tell me everything, little miss!"
I shrugged myself out of his hold. "There isn't anything to tell, Z."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, it was okay," I mumbled. "He dropped me home. It was nice."
Trevor stood for a moment in complete confusion. "Wait, that's it? You spend half an hour in a car with Jack and that's all you're gonna give me?"
"What do you want me to tell you, Z?" I sighed, inserting my house key into the lock and twisting. I paused my movements, turning to him with furrowed brows and a frown. "He thinks I spend a lot of time with you, that I'm never alone anymore."
Trevor's shoulders seemed to deflate with his mood. "And you agree with him?"
"No," I whispered, shaking my head. "Not at all. I love being with you. Hearing it like it was a problem just sort of upset me, you know?"
"You okay?" he cooed, taking a step towards me, but keeping his hands to himself. "Can I make it better?"
"I don't think so," I admitted. "I don't know how I feel right now. I think I just need to burrito myself in my blankets and binge a teen drama with popcorn."
Holding his hands up in mock surrender, Trevor leaned away from me with a gentle smile. "Don't let me stand in your way. I'll be here when you're ready for company again. Just swing me a text or hold a sign up from across the window."
I giggled. "You're a huge dork, you know that, right?"
Grinning, he tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear and in turn, forcing my heart to race at his simple touch. "Don't be a stranger, alright?"
I nodded my head in a yes motion, turning to finally open my door and take a step inside. "I won't. Promise."