WARNING: This includes self-harm, mental disorders, bullying, mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, and an insensitive Hermione, who doesn't realize how much words can hurt. Viewer discretion is advised. (The music is there bc it's a good song, and I guess it might(??) go well with the oneshot??)
Your eyes felt heavy, body feeling numb. You felt empty. Of course, you knew how quickly your depressed state could change. You were living with bipolar depression, and were confirmed as suicidal. Of course, no one knew but you and the staff members.
You glanced over at a certain bushy-haired girl, lips curling into a slight smile. You had a massive crush on the brightest witch of your age, and you were pretty sure everyone knew but Hermione. Then again, you barely spoke to her, hardly dared to even make conversation, but when she did speak to you, she held a slightly annoyed tone, making you want to laugh at her huffy face.
Today was the day you wanted to start a conversation yourself. One of the days where you felt there was nothing to lose. Suddenly, you felt extremely cheerful, confidence and bubbly happiness radiating off you. You walked confidently over to Hermione, a bright smile on your face. "Hey Hermione!" you said cheerfully, a smile on your lips.
You saw Hermione blush, quickly narrowing her panicked eyes. "What do you want?" she huffed, crossing her arms. You shrugged, trying not to laugh at her cuteness. "I just wanted to say hi." Hermione curled her lip slightly, and her next words cut you deep.
"Well, it's really weird. It's not that anyone actually likes you anyway. Haven't you ever heard of leaving people alone? Maybe then people wouldn't have to fake or toxic with you!" You felt that, deep in your heart. When Hermione actually seemed empathetic and would talk to you and ask what was wrong, it would usually be about toxic or fake friends, sometimes a mixture of both. But Hermione hadn't ever used it against you, until now.
You felt your eyes burn with stinging tears, but you pushed them back. You wouldn't let yourself cry infront of her. "I see how it is then." You let out a deep, throaty, cruel laugh, surprising yourself. You didn't feel in control of your own mouth. "Yes, I see." You laughed again.
"So, this is your game. Let others open up, then use what you know about them to cut them down. Okay, I'll play along. Maybe the end of it isn't what you think. I'll let you think you've won, but it's far from over, Granger." You slowly turned and walked away, not looking at Hermione's face as you walked.
As soon as you were out of Hermione's sight, you broke into a sprint, dashing into the Slytherin common room. Draco smirked, pointing and laughing at you. "Look! There goes the crybaby!" Pansy laughed along with Crabbe and Goyle as they laughed with Draco. This had happened ever since you became a Slytherin, which was five years ago.
Draco threw a rolled up piece of parchment at you. "Here. Read it!" You looked up numbly at him, eyes apathetic. "Later." you say simply, walking into your room, slamming the door behind you. You plopped yourself down on your bed, hesitantly opening the scroll. What it said shattered you.
Petition for Y/N to Kill Herself:
Draco Malfoy
Pansy Parkinson
Gregory Goyle
Blaise Zabini
............
You stared at the petition with no surprise as the list went on to everyone in Slytherin. Tears streaked down your cheeks, staining the parchment as you ripped it into shreds. You figured they where right. Maybe you should. Maybe you should end this right now. You pull up your sleeves and look at your wrists, scars and fresh cuts coating them.
You grabbed the knife on the nightstand next to you, that also held a pitcher of water and a glass, and press it hard against your wrist. For once, you hesitated. Instead, you threw the knife in anger and misery, it slashing into the wall.
You took the glass next to the water pitcher and threw it onto the floor, beautiful clear shards scattering on the floor. You pressed your back to the wall, breathing heavily, staring at the knife in your wall. You grab the water pitcher, blinded by pain, and smashed it over your head, glass cutting your cheek and water dripping down your face and hair, onto the floor with the glass.
Your back slid down your wall, and you brought your knees to your chest, hugging them together. You tilted your head against the cold wall, water and tears mixing with the blood dripping from the wound in your cheek. This is hell, is all you could think.
You heard yelling from inside the Slytherin common room, and sure enough, Hermione slammed your door open, looking horrified at the sight infront of her. She rushed over to you and kneeled down next to you, pulling you into a hug.
"I'm so sorry. I had no idea about the others bullying you, and I'm sorry I was such a bitch earlier." She ran her fingers through your wet hair and kissed your head, then your nose. You looked at her, eyes betraying your hurt. She used her thumb to wipe the remaining blood off your cheek.
"Hermione, I have severe bipolar depression." you mumbled, looking into her eyes. Hermione shook her head. "I love you so fucking much." She kissed you full on the mouth, then pulled back. "I love you too." Hermione grinned. "Let's get you and your room cleaned up."