Brie wanted to smile upon seeing him again, but the tears that stained his cheeks stopped her short. His hands trembled, shaking his head repeatedly. She took a tentative step forward, furrowing her brows in confusion.
"You're not really here," he shook his head at her, throat hoarse, "You're dead."
Her heart plummeted. Why would he think that she was dead?
"JJ, I'm fine," she said, "I'm right here."
He shook his head and started crying again. Her throat swelled at the sight of seeing him cry. It felt like her heart was being squeezed in her chest.
"Hey, look," she said, holding out her hand to him, "Its me. JJ, please."
He outstretched his shaking hand until it touched her's lightly. His breathing stopped, looking up at her face in shock. She smiled and nodded, feeling the tears in her eyes. JJ quickly grabbed her and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, clinging to her for dear life. She couldnt help but let out a sob, tangling her fingers in his hair and kissing the side of his face.
"Oh my god," he cried, "I thought I'd lost you. Please never leave me again. Please-"
"I wont," she promised, pressing the side of her face to his', "I'm never letting you get away from me again."
"I love you," he said, covering her face in rushed kisses, "I love you so much."
"I love you too," she panted.
"What-" he stuttered in shock, "How-"
"I got off the boat," she said, holding him closer, "I couldn't go. I couldn't leave you."
He grabbed her face and kissed her hard, pulling her in by her waist. She kissed back desperately, loving the feeling of being back in his arms again. She wanted to stay like that forever, but something made her pull back.
"Sarah," she gasped, "And John B. They got away?"
JJ dropped his head. Brie felt her knees weaken, but JJ held her up. He looked back up at her with fresh tears in his eyes and shook his head. And she knew.
"No," she sobbed, "No, they can't be-"
She rested her head against his chest and screamed through her tears. They were gone. John B had been like a brother to her, and Sarah was one of her best friends. And now they were just suddenly gone.
"The storm was too strong," JJ told her, "The police drove their boat right into a tropical depression. Never stood a chance."
She cried harder, gripping onto his hoodie. He lay a hand on the back of her head and shushed her quietly. She couldn't belive it. She was dreaming. This wasnt real. None of it was. It couldn't be.
"John B," she sniffed, "I can't- I should have gone with them!"
"Brie, you cant think like that," he said, "If you went then you would have died too, and I couldnt handle that, okay? You're here with me, and everything's gonna be fine."
She nodded, numbly, unable to say anything else. He hugged her tight again and she self-relaxed as she leaned into him. They stayed like that for a while, not knowing what else to do. They were both hurting more than ever, and all they could do was hold onto each other and hope that the pain would eventually dull.
At some point, the tears had stopped and they were now both lay side by side on John B's bed. Brie looked around his small room at the pictures from previous years pinned up. There were only a few pictures of her in them that Kiara had managed to get printed before Storm Agatha and the power cut. She reached out and pulled the picture of them all on the Pogue from the wall and held it up with a smile.
"I love this picture," she said, "We all look so happy."
"Yeah, we do," JJ agreed, sitting up slightly and plucking another picture off the wall. "I think this one is my favourite."
It was a picture of her and JJ. Well, not exactly. It was a picture that Kiara had taken of Pope and John B with their arms over each other's shoulders, but in the background you could see Brie and JJ flirting as usual. They both had huge smiles on their faces, the sun shining brightly behind them. Brie smiled and planted a kiss on his shoulder.
"I like that picture too," she said, turning to look at the wall of pictures again.
JJ took her hand and squeezed it. Brie squeezed back and gave a tight smile, holding back more tears.
"We should tell them," JJ said, "We should tell Pope and Kiara that you're okay. God knows, they need it."
She nodded, half-heartedly. She wanted to see her friends right now, but she also didn't want to risk being caught and arrested.
"We could go tomorrow?" JJ suggested, "Their parents aren't likely to let them leave their houses right now, but maybe they could get away tomorrow."
Brie nodded in agreement, not wanting to attempt to talk because of her aching throat. JJ traced his fingers up and down her arm comfortingly and she sighed.
"We can do a sort of memorial service?" JJ suggested. Brie's heart warmed. "We can get some candles and I can pick out some pictures, you know, to remember them and...and to say goodbye."
Brie let out a sob and smiled at him, wiping her tears away quickly. She put her head against his chest, trying to focus on his heartbeat to distract her from her own broken heart. She could hear him crying again too as he kept his hand over her back, rubbing circles with his thumb.
"I just can't believe this is happening," she said, "It doesn't seem real."
"None of it seems real," JJ agreed, "But I'm glad that you're okay. I dont know what I would have done if you were really gone."
She gripped the material of his hoodie in her hands and let out another shaky breath. He ran his hand through her hair, laying his arm around her back. The moment was so bittersweet that it was almost painful. She was so happy to be back in JJ's arms, but she now had to live with the fact that two of her best friends had just vanished from her life.
Brie couldn't help but feel like it was all her fault. She thought about everything she had done over the past couple of months and went through every single possibility of what she could have done differently so that Sarah and John B didnt have to end up on that boat.
She could have planned things better; she could have not been such a hot head when it came to conflict; or she could have simply not got off the boat. She might have been able to get the boat through the storm, or she could have persuaded John B to turn back around. They would have been arrested, but she would rather be in a cell than have lost them forever.
"I know what you're thinking," JJ said, "But don't. There's nothing you could have done. It's not your fault, Brie."
"It still feels like it is," she mumbled as a tear slid down her cheek, landing on JJ's jumper.
"You can't do that to yourself," he told her, "Anyway, it's happened. As much as I hate it, there's nothing we can do to change what's happened. They're not coming back."
She nodded slowly, biting her lip to stop herself from crying again. She didn't want to move. She couldnt find the effort. So she stayed laying on JJ's chest for hours, until at some point she must have fallen asleep.
Her mind instantly went against her, taking her back to before she got off that boat. But this time, she didn't. She stayed with Sarah and John B as they desperately tried to make it through the storm. She could feel the icy spray of the water against her skin and the wind whipping her face as she held onto Sarah tightly. John B tried to hold the wheel, but the current was throwing them around so much that it was impossible to even try and control it. John B put his arms around the two girls as they held onto the side of the boat desperately.
"Guys, I'm so sorry," John B yelled over the roaring of the waves, "I didnt mean for this to happen!"
"We're in this together, okay?" Brie screamed, "I love you guys."
Sarah smiled at her, the clash of lightening lighting up her face. Brie took her hand and squeezed it for support as John B held them both closer. The storm worsened and the current changed again, water crashing down on them. Brie's eyes widened in horror as a dark wall of water rose above them. This was it.
"Hold onto something!" John B yelled.
But it was useless. The wave smashed into them, submerging the boat completely. Sarah and John B were dragged away from Brie as she reached out desperately trying to grab hold of them. It was so dark that she couldnt see anything at all. The water was painfully cold and the pressure built in her ears. She tried to hold her breath, but her lungs were giving in. Brie let her body turn numb as water finally invaded her body. Her chest was filled with pain and she began clawing at her throat, just wanting it all to be over already.
"Brie? Brie!"
Brie gasped and jumped awake, sitting up and pushing herself away to the edge of the bed. She instantly released her throat, feeling the air hit the raw skin where her nails had scratched it. Her cheeks were soaked with tears, and she still struggled to breathe properly as she coughed and sobbed uncontrollably.
JJ stared at her in horror, bringing her hands into his' and moving to sit in front of her. Brie looked at him pleadingly, begging for him to just make everything okay again. She wanted them back so badly. She just wanted things to go back to how they were before all this happened.
He pulled her head against his chest, shushing her gently as he stroked her hair. She clung to him, feeling immense relief at the fact that she could feel his warmth after that feeling of numbness had taken over her. She curled up in his lap and tried to calm her breathing.
"I was on the boat," she panted, "I was there when they- when the boat-"
"Hey, Brie," he sighed, sadly, "You're fine, yeah? Look at me, princess. I'm here."
"I'm sorry," she sniffed, sitting up to face him. His eyes were tired and bloodshot, illuminated in the distant sunrise. "John B was your best friend, and I'm being stupid and selfish, and-"
"Hey," he stopped her, catching her face in his hands, "You're not. You're grieving, and you're hurting. I am, too. But we've got each other still, alright? We're always going to have each other."
She nodded, gently combing his hair from his eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he looped his round her back, as she rested her head in the crook of his neck.
"Do you want me to go and find Pope and Kiara?" JJ asked, quietly, "They're going to be so happy when they find out that you're okay."
"Yeah," Brie said, hesitantly. She knew that JJ senses her uneasiness.
"What?" He asked. She sighed. "Come on, tell me."
"What if they blame me?" She wondered aloud, "What if they think that I shouldn't have left them like I did?"
"They wont," he promised, pulling back and rubbing his thumb over her cheek, "Brie, they love you. They just want you to be okay. Right now they think you're dead, and trust me when I say that the only thing they're going to think when they see you is how much they love you, and how much they never want to be without you again."
A smile played on her lips, knowing what he was really saying. He smiled at her and pulled her in, kissing her gently.
"I'm gonna go and find them, okay?" He said, slowly letting her go and standing up, "Just stay here, and I'll be back soon. If the cops show up or anything, head to the garage and I'll meet you there with supplies. You got it?"
"Okay," she agreed, attempting a smile. He smiled back and leaned down to kiss her again.
"I'm glad you're okay," he whispered.
That time she smiled. She really smiled. He traced his thumb over her chin and grinned, resting his forehead against her's.
"I love you," she said.
"I love you too," he replied, "I'll be back soon, okay? You could pick out some pictures for later?"
"Yeah," she said with a small smile, "Okay. Oh, your bike! It's still at the garage."
"Oh, shit," he cursed, "I forgot about that. It's fine, I'll get it. I'll be back as soon as I can."
"Be careful," she reminded him, "The cops and the FBI will still want to talk to you, Pope and Kiara. They might come looking for you."
He nodded, pushing a hand through his tangled hair. "Dont worry, I'll be careful. Just stay put, alright?"
She nodded, squeezing his hand. He gave her one last encouraging smile and slipped out of the house. Brie didnt want to move. She looked down at her hands and picked at the dirt under her nails. The sadness consumed her again, stronger now that she was alone, but she didn't think she could cry anymore after the past couple of hours.
Brie started plucking photos from John B's wall, putting them into a pile on the desk. Her heart felt heavy as she remembered how happy they had all been at the start of the summer. Despite the mess they were in, she still thought that this was the best summer of her life, because she had finally found her family again.
She left the pictures on he desk and headed into the kitchen, pulling some candles from the drawer. Once again, she was stuck in place unable to stop thinking about Sarah and John B. The pictures that she had for their memorial service were all of the Pogues, and none with Sarah. She sighed. She wished that she had at least one picture for Sarah. She deserved this memorial too.
Brie took the chance of being alone to finally shower and clean herself up. It had been days since she had last been able to properly change clothes, and the cuts that covered her exposed skin were just begging to be cleaned. She stripped off her dirty clothes and quickly showered. The water was warm and comforting, something that she desperately needed. She scrubbed at her skin until it felt raw and the water began to sting.
Once out of the shower, she properly inspected her legs for the first time in days. They were scratched and scarred worse than she'd ever seen them. Her face was no different. She touched the cuts lightly, praying that they wouldnt scar. She pulled on some fresh shorts and one of John B's old jumpers that he had given her when she had first moved in and put her arm back into the sling. She smiled slightly, tears coming to her eyes again, but she blinked them back. She didn't want to cry anymore. John B always hated when she cried.
Brie cleaned as best as she could to take her mind away from worrying about seeing Pope and Kiara. She should be happy to see them, and of course she was, but she couldnt help but feel nervous at what they would think. She had pretty much abandoned Sarah and John B. John B had been their friend for years, and Brie hadn't even been here for a year. What if, in the backs of their minds, they would rather have lost her instead of John B?
She didnt have anymore time to think because she heard JJ's bike and Kiara's car pulling in. She took a deep breath and wrung her hands together nervously as the doors of Kiara's slammed shut.
"JJ, a memorial is a really nice idea," Kiara said, "But couldn't we wait a bit? Look, I know we're all hurting right now, but the cops probably still want to talk to us-"
"I know," JJ cut her off, "But I have to show you guys something."
"Show us what?" Pope asked, "JJ, no offence, but if this is something to do with the gold, I really don't think we care right now. We just lost three of our friends in one night."
"I know," JJ said, "I know. That's why you guys need to see this. Just...come on."
Brie clenched her hands into fists, holding her breath as the door opened. JJ walked in first, nodding at her encouragingly. Then Pope came through the door, Kiara behind him. They both looked up, shock covering their expressions. Kiara looked back at JJ and then at Brie again, face breaking into a bright smile. Brie felt relief flood through her chest as Kiara ran and threw her arms around her, nearly knocking her off her feet.
"Brie, oh my god," she cried, "You're okay."
Kiara pulled back, tears falling down her face as her smile grew. Pope grabbed her next, squeezing her arms around her tightly. Her shoulder ached, but she didnt care. He let her go and grinned at her. She felt her heart swell, knowing that she still had her family after everything.
"I knew you guys were okay," Kiara grinned. Brie's heart dropped. "Where's John B and Sarah?"
Brie opened her mouth to reply, but the words stuck in her throat. She choked and shook her head, unable to talk.
"Kie," JJ said, watching Brie carefully. Kiara's expression dropped. "Brie got off the boat before..."
"So they're really gone?" Kiara asked, more tears falling.
Brie dropped her head. The guilt took over again. No matter what JJ said to her, she would always feel like this was her fault.
"I'm sorry," Brie whispered, "I didnt mean for this to happen."
"Hey, it's okay," Pope said, hugging her again despite his tear covered face, "It's not your fault. We're just glad that you're okay."
Kiara nodded in agreement, joining in the hug. JJ came over, wrapping his arms around them. They stayed like that for a while, and Brie was glad for it. She really needed her family right now.
They took the pictures that Brie had picked out and the candles from the drawer and headed out to the dock. They sat, huddled close, with the pictures laid out in front of them. Brie looked at the images of John B and smiled to herself, squeezing Kiara's hand. JJ leaned over and lit the candles with his lighter. He sat back and put his arm around Brie's back, her head rested against his shoulder.
"I know that things feel really shitty right now," Brie said, "But at least we've still got each other. I love you guys, and no matter what happens, you guys will always be my family."
She looked up at them, each of them giving her a sad smile. Brie blinked back more tears, feeling JJ's hand land on top of her's. She leaned further into him and he kissed her temple, lightly. She smiled, watching the flame of the candle flicker as she finally let herself relax.
She didnt know what would happen for them now. Hell, it probably wasnt going to be good. It never seemed to be. All they had not was each other, but that was more than enough. She knew that as long as they stuck together, things would be okay. As long as she had her family.
~~~~~
hey guys, I never really do author's notes but this is going to be the last chapter until Outer Banks season 2 comes out, and I just wanted to say how grateful I am for all of you who support my work, especially those who vote and comment all the time. I love you guys so much, please feel free to message me at any point for anything and send me some good book recommendations :) hope to be updating for you all again soon x