As soon as she opened her eyes, she knew that something was off. That something was incredibly wrong, and it scared her.
She squinted as she looked around the room before turning her head and looking at the bedside table. As soon as she saw a frame sitting there, she lifted it up before quickly placing her hand over her mouth as tears burned her eyes.
"Oh, no." She breathed, before quickly sitting up. She looked over at the person beside her before biting her lip.
"Liv, lay back down." He yawned, and she shook her head as she slipped from bed.
"I'm not Liv." She squeaked. He shot up in bed before finding his wife's blonde best friend beside him.
"Oh, shit..." Elliot trailed off as he looked at Amanda.
"W-what did we do?" Amanda asked, as she quickly turned on the lamp before looking around and finding her pants and shirt, but not her bra or panties.
"You are completely naked... and I am too." Elliot breathed after looking under the sheets.
"We had sex? Elliot! Olivia is my best friend! She's the godmother to my son!" Amanda cried as she raked her fingers through her hair.
"I just remember that we got drunk last night... how the fuck did we let this happen?" Elliot asked, his voice cracking as he thought about cheating on his wife. Cheating on her with her best friend.
"Let's just pretend that this didn't happen. We didn't have sex together. You weren't even here." Elliot spoke, and Amanda shook her head as she looked at him.
"My panties and bra have gotta show up sometime... and it's going to tell Olivia that we did something together. It's going to kill her."
///
It was a few weeks before Olivia suspected a thing. Amanda was just getting out of the elevator to start her shift, when Olivia quickly shoved her back into the elevator and joined her. She turned the elevator off before looking at her best friend.
"Liv?" Amanda asked nervously.
"I need you to give me some advice." Olivia breathed.
"O-okay?"
"I found some other woman's panties and bra in Elliot's truck. I got in there to grab Elsie's backpack, and I saw them poking out from under the seat." Olivia frowned, before opening the bag and letting Amanda look into it.
Amanda frowned deeply as she looked up at her friend.
"Are you angry?" Amanda mused.
"Of course I'm angry! He's cheating on me, Mandy! I have given him four kids, and this is how he pays me back?! By cheating on me?!" Olivia cried, as tears streamed down her cheeks.
Amanda took a slow breath before stepping forward and hugging Olivia tightly. She wanted to comfort her before she lost the chance. She wanted to hug her friend one last time before they stopped being friends.
"Liv, don't be angry at him." Amanda spoke softly, as she kept her arms wrapped tightly around her friend's body.
"What? He's cheating on me! I deserve to be more than angry!"
"Be angry at me." Amanda whispered.
"You? Why? Amanda, if you couldn't stop him from cheating on me... it isn't your fault. He's a pig." Olivia huffed, as she stepped away from Amanda and started to pace as much as she could.
"Because it was my fault. We went out drinking, and he offered to drive me home. We were both drunk, but for some reason I listened. You were spending the night with the kids out at Bernie's house..." Amanda trailed off slowly.
"W-what?" Olivia struggled to speak, as she leaned against the wall.
"We didn't know what happened till we woke up the next morning! I'm sorry! We were drunk and it never happened before and it will never happen again!" Amanda cried.
"No." Olivia whimpered, as Amanda tried to step forward and hug her again.
"Please-"
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Olivia yelled.
Amanda quickly turned on the elevator before slamming her hands against the button that opened the doors.
She quickly walked towards the squadroom as her heart pounded in her chest.
"Rollins, where is my old lady?" Elliot asked awkwardly. Their friendship had been super strained since the night they slept together, and Amanda knew that it would never be the same.
"She knows." Amanda whimpered before quickly turning around and heading back out of the squadroom. She knew that she couldn't be there or anywhere near the friend she hurt so badly.
///
Amanda had just put her son, Jimmy, down for the night when someone asked to be buzzed up. She allowed them into the building before answering the door once someone knocked on it.
"Liv." Amanda choked out.
"Were you lying to me? To cover for Elliot?" Olivia spoke. Her voice lost almost all emotion and her face was pale.
"What? No."
"So you really slept with my husband?"
"I didn't mean too, Liv. I swear."
"You didn't mean too? Then why did you let it happen?!" Olivia cried.
"I was so drunk, Liv. I swear that if booze wasn't apart of this messy fucking equation... then I would have never slept with him. We were just friends. We aren't even that anymore because we both feel so bad... We regretted it as soon as we woke up, but we didn't know what to do."
"You hurt me, Mandy. You slept with my husband."
"I'm sorry, Liv. I hate myself for what I did..."
"I don't think that I can ever forgive you." Olivia whispered.
"I get that... it's going to suck losing you forever... not being able to see you or the kids. Jimmy is-"
"Don't try and make me feel bad, Amanda. Not after what you did." Olivia snapped.
"Olivia, what I did was wrong. What Elliot and I did together was wrong. We feel horrible for it, but you need to understand that we didn't do this intentionally. I can't even remember anything after him offering to take me home."
"I have to forgive him. We have four kids that need both of their parents. So you have gotta just take this all. You have gotta leave us alone." Olivia whispered.
Amanda looked at her friend with wide eyes before biting her lip.
"Are you telling me to move away?"
"Go back to Atlanta and stay there... just don't sleep with married men. Again."
///
Amanda hated that Olivia blamed her for everything. That she didn't seem to understand that the drunken night that Amanda and Elliot had shared wouldn't have happened if they hadn't been drunk. They never had feelings for each other, so it was strictly an accident. A mistake.
Amanda knew that she didn't have another choice, so she started to make arrangements to move back to Atlanta.
"I told you to leave." Olivia growled as soon as she walked into the squadroom. Amanda was cleaning off her desk and planned on leaving within the week. She couldn't just leave on a whim now that Jimmy was around. She had to plan more for the sake of her son.
"I am leaving." Amanda whispered as she picked up a framed picture of herself and Olivia when they were pregnant together. It wasn't expected, but the squad worked around their two detectives and their mood swings and the way they whined about being on desk duty.
"Then leave." Olivia spat.
"What's happening?" Cragen asked, as he walked from his office and looked at Olivia and Amanda.
"Nothing, Captain. Just cleaning everything up." Amanda frowned before she tossed the frame into the garbage can and put the lid on the last box.
"Amanda, where are you going?" Elliot asked, since his wife didn't tell him about how she decided to take care of the currently situation.
"It doesn't matter Elliot. You won't need to ever get ahold of me again." Amanda breathed. She picked up her boxes before walking towards the door. She stopped herself before turning back around and looking at Olivia as she raked her fingers through her hair.
"I'm sorry, Liv. So fucking sorry."
///
Even when Amanda left to go to Atlanta, Olivia and Elliot's relationship was horribly strained. They kept fighting about the one night that Elliot cheated on Olivia, especially because Olivia kept using it against him. She said that she was willing to try and forgive him and get back to where they had been before the affair of sorts, but she wouldn't even get close to letting him off the hook.
He worked so hard to try and gain her trust again, but it just was never the same. They ended up separated a year after Amanda left for Atlanta, and Elliot ended up moving out because Olivia always snapped and made comments to him when he did anything wrong.
Elliot took a trip down to Atlanta to pick up a suspect, but he also wanted to check in on Amanda. He didn't know how great her life was now that she was back in the town she fled from.
"El?" Amanda asked with wide eyes as she opened the front door to her house.
"Hey, Amanda... uh, I came down here for a case and decided to drop by and check in on you." Elliot spoke, and Amanda swallowed hard as she avoided his eyes.
"We promised Olivia that we wouldn't be in contact with each other. That we couldn't be friends anymore or even acquaintances." Amanda sighed softly.
"I know. But we aren't really together anymore."
"What?" Amanda asked, as she finally locked eyes with Elliot again.
"We are trying a separation. It's not working because she still hates me. She still blames me for not only that night, but also for anything else that happens. Like Elsie losing her backpack." Elliot sighed.
"Elliot, you should leave." Amanda spoke nervously.
"Hey, I'm here to just check in on you. Make sure that you are okay... I haven't seen you in over a year."
"Um, I guess you can come in if you want."
"I'd like that." Elliot smiled softly.
///
Elliot walked around Amanda's living room as she went to check in on Jimmy. She had started to say something else, but stopped herself before running towards the door that had a train sticker on the outside.
As Elliot made his lap around the living room, he stopped when he saw a picture of Jimmy holding a baby wrapped in a pink knit blanket.
"Oh." Amanda breathed, as she awkwardly tucked her hair behind her ear as she saw where Elliot stood.
"You have a daughter?" Elliot asked, and Amanda swallowed hard as she nodded slowly.
"I do... Elliot-"
"Is she our daughter?" Elliot breathed, and Amanda nodded as tears burned her eyes.
"She is... I'm sorry that I didn't contact you. Olivia told me to never get in contact with anyone from Manhattan again. I couldn't talk to Fin... I didn't even feel safe enough to send Munch a retirement gift." Amanda sniffled.
"You had no other choice. You were just trying to make things easier for us... but it'll never be easy again."
"She's in my bedroom napping... if you wanted to meet her."
"What's her name?" Elliot asked, as he followed Amanda towards her bedroom.
"Jenna Mae. Jimmy is an amazing big brother. He just loves her." Amanda smiled, as she brushed tears from her cheeks.
"I bet... he was always kinder to my daughters' dolls than they were." Elliot chuckled. He looked across the room and to where Amanda had moved. He watched as she picked up the small baby before slowly moving back to him.
"Jenna, this is Elliot... he's an amazing guy and he's super kind. He is your..." Amanda trailed off as she looked up at Elliot.
"I'm your Daddy, Jenna..."
///
Elliot went back to Manhattan with a heavy heart. He hated to leave his little girl behind, but he still had his job to do. He also had an estranged wife and four little kids to think about.
"Are they all in bed?" Elliot asked, as he stopped by the house the night he got back into town. Olivia nodded slowly as she pushed her glasses onto the top of her head before turning the TV off.
"They were disappointed that you didn't get home in time to put them to bed." Olivia sighed.
"I'm sorry, but it was a long drive. And Fin drives like an old man." Elliot said with a weak laugh.
He walked over and sat on the other side of the sofa as Olivia looked at her hands and twisted around one of her rings.
"So, I went to check in on Amanda." Elliot spoke.
"Of course you did!" Olivia growled.
"Liv, I'm not going to hide anything from you anymore. And because you told Amanda that she couldn't contact anyone here anymore, I didn't find out until three days ago that we have a daughter together."
"W-what?" Olivia struggled to speak.
"Amanda has a little girl, Jenna Mae. She's almost three months old and is so cute. I want to be involved in her life, Liv. But for that to happen, you gotta let her come back up here. So I can be around for you, our kids, and Jenna."