It's been three days since the incident.
I was in another town over, a backpack with not many items and a heart too heavy to understand anything.
I had chosen this town because it was in a safe zone. It wasn't owned by the Oscuros neither the Guillianos.
It was quiet and tucked in the corner away from the drama.
When I first arrived here, I slept for two days straight in my hotel room. It wasn't a fancy one. Just a boutique hotel, very quaint.
Today--the third day, was my first day rolling over and coming to grips with reality.
I cried.
I freaking cried like a baby.
I have never cried before like that, but it felt so damn good letting out all the frustration and things that had been on my mind.
I cried until my head started to pound.
Thoughts of my father flooding my thoughts. Then, my mother. Then, of him dying and her appearing. Thoughts of Raine and how I was too confuse and troubled to even be with her right now.
After I cried, I showered.
That was when the anger came in. I knew that the charge for the holes in their shower would be a hefty bill for me to pay, but I couldn't help it.
I was angry because my father was a douchebag and he died cowardly. He should have been fought or something. He should have been given the consequences of his action.
I was angry because Sally had disappeared under the radar. I got news that after she was patched up in the hospital she ran away. I was angry that law enforcements were stupid to even let her be unguarded.
I was angry because my mother- my freaking mother, just came off her long-ass vacation to come save the day. I was thinking that if she was here in the first place then this wouldn't have happened!
I was angry because I may have a target on my back and didn't care so much to even use caution.
I turned off the water, sinking down into the tub. I fell asleep that day. Again.
Two days after that, I was stuck in the emotions of anger and sadness. I drifted into acceptance from time to time, but I would sink back into anger before I knew it.
I haven't ate anything sensible for four days. I have survived off tears, anger, and a few snacks from the vending machine in the hallway.
On the 5th day, I decided to at least get outside.
It wasn't sunny.
We were in the ending part of December and winter was taking a comfortable seat. The sun was out, but the rays were coated with chilly winds.
I had on the same clothes I had on from that night. A black jacket, black jeans and my black boots.
I ambled over to the park across from the hotel. It was quiet and the sound the wind was making as it blow past was calming for me.
So, I sat on the bench in the middle looking over everything.
Eventually, my right butt started to hurt, so I dig into it to see what was hurting me and pulled out my locket.
I swallowed, fingering the cool metal in my hand.
It was my mother's locket. The one she would always wear when I was younger.
When she had disappeared, I found it in my room on a dresser. It was the reason why I thought she didn't really left. Eventually, I realized that she had and the locket was just a gift she left for me to hold onto.
It was weird because I went through a spell of hating her and being angry with her, but I have never not once let go of the locket.
I span around whipping out my gun before pointing it to the presence I felt behind me.
"Oh wow," she breathed. I furrowed my brows at her, trying to figure out how she had found me. "I would put that up. We're at a park" she said, but she didn't step forward.
I looked around. There wasn't anyone out here. To my left was a swing set and to my right was the entrance of the park. I glance at her, placing my gun back into the position it was in before as I turned around.
"How did you find me?" I muttered, looking at the slide in front of me.
"It's a knack" she answered, walking around the bench and sitting on the side of me.
"I'm not ready to come back," I told her. I saw her nod in my peripheral.
"I didn't come to bring you back. I came because I was worried and wanted to know if you were okay" she looked at me.
"It's funny because you didn't do that the 7 years you were away" I scoffed, looking at her. She bit her lip.
"I know. You have every right to hate me right now, but I want you to know that I have been looking after you"
I raised my brow, "Really, did you see how much training I had?" I was getting angry again.
"Yes," she whispered.
"Yet, you did nothing" I spat.
She turned around to me, "Lucas, it's not easy penetrating the Oscuros walls. Especially, if you're like me, an outcast. Any minute they can come for me and kill me because I choose to walk away".
"And leave your son" I filled in for her.
"I didn't want to, but I had to go to be able to come back for you and I did" she was pleading.
"Okay, Leslie." I clapped my hand. " What do you want now? Do you want the same sweet son that you left 7 years ago because that little sweet boy is gone. So freaking gone, he's dead!"
Leslie looked away from me. I even felt the guilt consume me. I wanted to apologize for what I was saying to her, but I didn't. I also knew she had to know this too. She had to know that the decision that she made wasn't the best in everyone's eyes.
"You're right" she finally said. We were sitting in silence for a while. "However, I didn't expect the little sweet boy, Lucas. I just wanted the son I shouldn't have left. I thought the decision was a good idea. It was a good idea. There was no way I could have taken you and run. Your dad would have found us. Kill us. I had to come up with a plan to get him first. Get him out of the way, so that I can get back to you"
"7 years?" I asked her and she lowered her head.
"It took me 2 years to get out of The Oscuros eyesight. I had to literally make them think that I was dead. But, I will be honest with you, Lucas. I have never lied to you before and I wouldn't start now. Do I love you? So much that I can't even fathom ever letting you go. Not even if you ask me to. Have I tried every day to come back for you? I did and I have. But, I have also found love through fighting for you"
I blinked, looking over to her. She was looking down at her hands.
"You found love while leaving me behind?" I asked her slowly. I wasn't sure if I was hearing her right.
On top of the fact that she left me and was possibly living her best life, she's here to rub that in my face.
Is she crazy?
She looked at me, her eyes wandering over my face, then she shook her head.
"I shouldn't talk about this now. I would tell you later if you are still interested in talking to me?" she baited.
I don't think it would be a next time. I wanted her to go away. This conversation was over. However, I was too weak. I couldn't bear the fact of pushing away or letting another person leave me anymore.
So, I let her sit beside me. Her presence oddly calming to me. I would like to say it was because she was my mother.
"Have you ever opened it?" she asked. I looked at her confused. She looked down at my hands, pointedly. She was referring to the locket I was absentmindedly playing with.
"I haven't," I told her. Truthfully, I didn't know it could open.
"You should" she muttered. I looked at her and then back at the locket.
I struggled trying to get it open. It was an old locket and--
Leslie reached over, her soft fingers going around mines and then clicking it open. She smiled as I looked at her in surprise. "You have to squeeze it."
I swallowed, opening the locket wider, and then a paper dropped outside.
I frowned looking at it.
"I wrote it to you. I had hope that you had found it when I left, but I guess you didn't" she shrugged.
I unfold the paper, seeing faded ink on a very weak paper. It looked as if any more days had passed it would've disappeared into flakes in my hand.
However, I was still able to read the words.
Dear Lucas,
My love. My first and my only. You are everything to me. I would never stop fighting for you. I would never stop looking for you. You may feel angry, I would. Especially reading this and knowing I am nowhere to be found, but just know that I am working out something for that. Your father, he loves differently. A love that you can't take nor I, but I will come back for you. I will show you the love that you're supposed to have"
Love,
Your mother.
I swallowed reading the letter. It was nothing different from what she has already told me sitting here.
I looked over to her. Really looked at her.
She had long dark hair just like me. Blue eyes that resembled the ocean on a calm day. Her skin had age just a little, but she still could pass for a teenager. Her lips were different than mines. They were full and red, but her nose was like mines. It was straight, although mines held a slight bend to it now.
She was the woman I stared at every day when I looked at the locket. The woman whose voice I would hear in my head from time to time. Singing. Laughing. Giving advise.
She was the one that ran away from me, but she was also the one that came back for me.
"Did you eat today?" she asked.
I shook my head. Slightly puzzled how she asked that questions. As if she knew I hadn't eaten any of the days before.
"Would you like to go for something to eat?" she asked. I looked back to the paper, before slowly folding it and then putting it back into the locket. I stood up, looking down at her.
"I will give you a chance, but one chance is all you would get," I told her. She stood up, her height only reaching to my chest. She was short, but a bit taller than Raine.
Damn, I missed that girl.
"Thank you." she smiled, then turned around walking in front of me.