Proving Lieutenant Hemmings wrong felt weird, but so right at the same time.
Everyone congratulated me and made sure to share their excitement for my big success. Major Hood, Ashton, and Michael were no doubt the most excited for me, whereas, Lieutenant Hemmings left the sight and didn't return.
Everyone else cheered for me for what felt like hours and for the first time in a long time I felt genuinely happy.
It feels good to hear all these people cheer for me and tell me how proud they are because now, there's absolutely nothing holding me back.
I didn't go back to the cabin considering all anyone wants to do right now is talk to me about what just happened. I don't mind considering it feels good to be hyped up by a bunch of men who doubted you and made fun of you for not being able to accomplish the task not too long ago.
Not only did I prove Lieutenant Hemmings wrong tonight, but I proved every man here wrong.
"Lila, can we go take a walk?" Michael asks me, a look on his face that I can't put my finger on.
Considering I'm having a conversation with a younger soldier, I decide against cutting him off in the middle of his conversation with me as I say, "Yeah, give me like five minutes."
"Now, Lila," Michael says in more of a needy way rather than demanding.
Knowing I need to put him first, as opposed to whoever this guy is that keeps staring down my shirt, I shoot him a sympathetic smile, preparing my departure. I can tell he seems let down, but I don't dwell on it as I get up from the table.
Michael begins the trek out of the cafeteria as soon as I join his side and I stay close by his side. It's late so I know Lieutenant Hemmings probably will rip me apart if I stay out too late, so I intend on keeping this conversation as short as possible.
He keeps his hands dug deep in his pockets as he looks around the cafeteria cautiously, seeming more nervous than I've ever seen him. I'm confused by his action but gesture for us to leave regardless.
We walk out of the room, everyone still talking amongst themselves as Michael seems to be in a hurry. I begin to wonder what he wants to talk about but realize it's probably obvious. We haven't fully reached the same page when it comes to me deciding whether I want Lieutenant Hemmings to know or not.
I obviously know where he stands and maybe he's hoping to convince me to agree with him. I definitely intend on hearing him out, but I hope that he can just accept things as they are and stop trying to get me to see things from his point of view. After all, he's not the one in my shoes.
Luckily he doesn't seem to hesitate as we finally step outside and he grabs my wrist before taking me over to the same bench I had talked with Ashton on. I can see the panic in his features as he doesn't slow down his movements in the slightest.
I try to keep up with his pace as he practically runs over to the bench, seeming incredibly determined to jump into this conversation.
"Michael, is everything okay?" I ask, half alarmed that he's acting the way he is.
"No, not in the slightest."
I look to him, panic crossing my own face as I watch him carefully. What's that supposed to mean? He's hardly one to freak out, yet here he is, seeming to be sweating buckets by the second.
"Your brother is Declan right?" he asks the obvious considering he knows who he is and I obviously do.
What does Declan have to do with anything?
"Yes..." I say carefully wondering where he's going with this.
"I overheard Major Hood talking to Ashton," he says, making me ten times more interested in where this is going. "And the west side checked our army's roster and noticed a certain target was missing."
My eyes go wide considering they know Declan isn't here preparing for battle. It won't take long for them to put two together and realize there's another James on the roster. However, considering the size of this army, I wouldn't be surprised if there were 8 more people with the last name James on the roster.
It'd be impossible for them to narrow it down.
That can't single me out considering it singles out every other person with the last name James as well.
"I can't be the only person with the last name James on this campground," I say, shaking my head knowing there are so many people and someone is bound to have the same last name.
I mean, what could they possibly do? Target every single one of us?
"Right, but Major Hood said Lieutenant Hemmings is going to be drilling every single person with the last name James here until he finds out which one it is," Michael says, making my mouth drop open. You've absolutely got to be kidding me. "And he's pissed no one has come forward and said that they're the sibling of Declan James. Especially due to the severity of the west side finding this out on their own."
"What's the big deal? How was I supposed to know my brother is a huge target over there?" I whisper yell as I look around making sure no one's watching or overhearing us.
God, a part of me has a huge feeling I'm absolutely screwed.
Obviously, there's no hiding this further considering I'm sure that they could find out who's related to Declan just by contacting the people who sent out the recruitment letters. It'd be easier to do it that way but I'm sure Lieutenant Hemmings has plans of torturing us until one of us comes forward.
Unfortunately, that's going to need to be me.
"Apparently your brother is different," Michael says, his own eyes drifting off as he keeps his voice low. I look around once more, praying that no one is near to hear our conversation. "He was a big deal here and he's a big deal there. They need to know who came in place of him because of the threat it poses against our army. I'm sure they plan on training you entirely different than anyone else."
"But he won't keep me here and he definitely won't take the opportunity to train me differently. I know he'll send me home the second he finds out," I say knowing that this was going to happen.
He can hardly stand the sight of me, why would he keep me here if it just means more trouble for them?
"You need to tell someone, Lila," he says calmly. "I know you're scared they'll send you home, but the consequences could be much worse if you continue going unknown."
I sink in his words, trying to convince myself otherwise but end up sighing as I know he's right. It could either work out in the way that they'll prepare me in the best way in order to protect myself, or they'll send me home. It's a risk I have to take as I don't have any other options anymore.
I don't want to think about what it is the west side has planned for the person who replaced Declan James. However, I can say with certainty that it doesn't involve me making it out alive.
This is why I need to keep up my deal with Carter.
"Fine," I say. "But we're not telling Lieutenant Hemmings yet. I need to talk to someone who's not completely out to get me."
If I talk to someone else first, maybe they can help me reason with Lieutenant Hemmings. Maybe they'll have a better solution and will know what to do moving forward. In fact, maybe they'll be in favor of keeping my identity hidden.
Michael gets up from the bench and says, "Then we'll tell Major Hood."
I even still fear this considering he's Lieutenant Hemmings', right-hand man. I'm sure he wouldn't keep anything from him but presenting it to him first seems a lot less scary than presenting it to Lieutenant Hemmings first.
On top of that, he's far more reasonable. In fact, he's been fairly good to me and hasn't proven to be out to get me like Lieutenant Hemmings is. For this, I decide to give it a shot as I nod my head and agree with Michael's decision. Then again, I don't know who else I'd exactly tell.
"He's in his cabin, let's go see him."
I reluctantly get up but do so anyway as my heart races erratically. I don't know what to expect from Major Hood but a part of me knows that it won't be good. Regardless of how reasonable he may be, this is still a very serious situation that has the potential of having a terrifying outcome.
I just can't help but wonder why Ashton kept it a secret. He had to have known that this would automatically get me sent home. Then again, he did tell me that if I came clean to Lieutenant Hemmings about it, that I would secure my spot here.
Absolutely none of it makes sense.
We walk across camp, silent and anticipating the moment I finally come clean about my relations to Declan. I'm absolutely terrified and it seems as if Michael may be a little scared too as I can see the hesitancy in his demeanor. Neither one of us knows what will happen once I tell them the truth about me being related to Declan. After all, he is the biggest target when it comes to the west side.
And now that he's not here, we all know who the next biggest target is going to be.
I get that maybe I'm better off telling them considering they probably have better strategies to protect me than I'd have for myself but I still have a lot of fear considering what comes with telling them.
I've kept it a secret long enough and now I have to come clean. I know for certain that they aren't going to be happy to find out I kept this from them. Especially when they find out that I knew it was Declan on the targets.
At the same time though, I never figured it was an issue until I saw Declan's target. I knew he was friends with all of them but never realized he left a bad impression here. How could I have possibly known that?
I can only imagine what happened and what it is exactly that he did and a part of me doesn't want to know. Mostly because it'll be the cause of me being the next biggest target and the worse that the action is, the harder they're going to be targeting me.
And that's a terrifying feeling.
Approaching Major Hood's cabin, I freeze as Michael walks up to the door as I stay back slightly. I want more than anything to turn around and pretend as if we never came here but I know I just have to suck it up and do it.
There's no escaping this, Michael would never in a million years let me.
Michael takes the initiative to knock making me shy back as I bite on my bottom lip and prepare for what's to come. I look down at the ground and wait for Major Hood to answer the door as I almost pray he doesn't.
God, wouldn't it be nice if he didn't?
If he doesn't answer then we can just walk back and pretend like none of this happened. In fact, he's taking a long time, I bet he's not going to answer, right? I should turn around. Why wait any longer? Plus, he could be busy the last thing I want to do is bother him and make him get the door. What if Lieutenant Hemmings is in there? Then I'm especially making a run for it. Or what if Ashton's in there? What if Ashton's telling him about me right now?
The thoughts swarm my head as I become absolutely paranoid and terrified of what's to shortly come.
Before I can dwell on it for a second longer, the door is opened revealing Major Hood. He seems the slightest bit confused but takes in the sight nonetheless as he shoots a warm smile.
I practically catch a breath as I stand there frozen, not knowing what to say.
"Michael, Lila, what's up?" he asks casually as he leans against the doorframe.
Michael steps back as if gesturing for me to explain why we're here. This makes me shrink back in fear as I almost wish he had taken the reins and controlled the conversation. However, I know this is my mess that I need to explain.
I bite my lip nervously, wanting to just run away and tell him sorry for bothering him.
"Um, we need to talk to you about something."
Major Hood looks confused by this as he looks to Michael but Michael just nods. He seems to take this as his sign as he nods his head and looks around once, as if seeing if there's anyone else planning to come in. Once he sees that we're alone, Major Hood steps to the side in order to gesture for us to come in.
I let Michael walk in first before trailing behind him inside. My eyes can't help but look around as I notice Major Hood's cabin is very similar to Lieutenant Hemmings'. The only difference I seem to notice is the size. It's mildly smaller than Lieutenant Hemmings' but otherwise, it has the same exact setup.
Major Hood guides us to his room in order to give us a private space. My heart rate picks up even more as I try to think of where to begin.
He sits on the corner of his unmade bed before clapping his hands together, "So, what is it?"
I look around, trying to find somewhere to sit as I already feel faint at the thought of what this night could entail. I gesture towards his chair tucked under his desk before asking, "Do you mind if I take a seat?"
Major Hood uses his hand to instruct me to sit there, "Go for it."
Taking a seat, I cross one leg over the other as Michael leans on the corner of Major Hood's bureau. He seems to be just as nervous as myself as he bites on his bottom lip, seeming unable to stop.
"Congratulations again on getting to the top of the pole," Major Hood says sincerely.
I smile, looking down to hide the heat rising to my cheeks considering I still feel incredible because of it. It's a moment that I will never forget as I'll hold onto that memory forever.
"Thank you, it was about time," I say with a small laugh.
"Doesn't matter how long it took, all that matters is you got there and you didn't give up," Major Hood says kindly.
This makes me smile as I wonder why Lieutenant Hemmings can't have the same attitude. Instead, he clearly didn't care as he stormed off right away and didn't even say anything positive.
"Wish Lieutenant Hemmings felt the same," I say mostly to myself.
"Don't worry about Lieutenant Hemmings, he's just being a hardass considering that's all he knows," Major Hood says, waving me off.
I appreciate Major Hood considering he has a higher-up position but doesn't treat us all like dirt. He actually respects everyone and doesn't make me feel like the scum on the bottom of his shoe. He's encouraging and makes everyone feel as if they're doing something right.
Plus, he's more proud of me for climbing the pole than Lieutenant Hemmings will ever be.
"Well, after what I tell you, I'll definitely need to worry about him," I practically mutter.
He's a hardass and everything needs to go his way or all hell breaks loose. I fear he's going to take out his anger on me and kick me out. He knows how much this means to me and even if he told me he'd never kick me out, I feel as if this will trump any promise he could've made.
"What do you mean?" Major Hood asks me carefully.
I look to Michael as if silently begging him to not make me have to do this. Nonetheless, he keeps a firm look on his face and I know there's no going back now. He's not letting me leave this room until I come clean.
"I've been keeping something from the day I got here but in my defense, I didn't think it was an issue until now," I say, looking down and fiddling with my fingers. "Well, until I visited the west side campgrounds, I guess."
Major Hood seems to be on high alert now as he watches me carefully, almost begging me to continue.
"Okay... and what is it that you've been keeping?" he asks slowly, seeming a little tense. No one wants to hear one of their soldiers has been keeping something from them.
Especially since he's had my back and it's definitely not fun to hear that I've been hiding something from him.
"I just- I didn't even know he was a big deal here so it didn't cross my mind to bring it up," I say quickly, trying to defend myself before Major Hood loses his mind on me. I need to try to make this look as good as possible for me.
"Go on..."
"My brother fought alongside you, Ashton, and Lieutenant Hemmings," I say, taking a deep breath as Major Hood stays silent in order to not miss a single word. "He was supposed to come back out for the final round, but when he came home I noticed he was missing something."
Major Hood furrows his eyebrows as if still having no idea what I'm talking about. I'm surprised he hasn't connected the dots in this moment but I'm sure he's too intent on listening to figure things out on his own.
"My brother Declan came home missing his arm."
The room falls silent as Major Hood's eyes widen bigger than I've ever seen them. His mouth falls open and he looks to me in absolute shock. The reaction terrifies me as I can see just how astonished he is by the news.
"I got the letter in the mail regarding who was signing up for the final round and I couldn't send him back out here when he had one arm. He wouldn't last a day, and now knowing he's their biggest target, I know I made the right decision."
"But-"
"I snuck out and didn't tell him. I didn't tell him or Ashton because I knew they wouldn't let me so I said my goodbyes the night before, as if they were leaving, and then messed with his alarm to prevent him from waking up. I left my family, got on the ship, and just as I was walking on he came running up. He was begging and screaming for me not to go, but I knew I needed to be there for him. I knew if he got on that ship, he'd never come back."
Major Hood places his hands on his face and drags his hands through his hair seemingly in frustration. I watch him, waiting for him to say something as he shakes his head and mumbles things under his breath. Michael and I stay silent as we watch the scene unfold and I feel absolutely sick to my stomach.
"Luke is going to go absolutely insane when he finds out your Declan James' sister."
I hang my head in shame, knowing he's going to be pissed off. I kept such an important thing from him for too long. Any chance I had at winning him over is probably stripped at this point.
"I don't want to get kicked out-"
Major Hood lets out a loud laugh before saying, "Don't you worry. The last thing he's going to be doing when he finds out is kicking you out."
I furrow my eyebrows, looking to Michael immediately who seems just as confused. What does that mean? Why won't he kick me out? Isn't that the perfect reason to? How would this prevent him from doing so?
"What do you mean?"
"You have to tell him tonight, Lila. Once he knows this, things will change drastically, and I absolutely mean that. Plus, if you have intentions of staying you'll be trained differently, especially considering the second they find out who you are, you're their next biggest target."
I look to him scared even though I know this damn well. Hearing it come from him scares me as I see the seriousness in his gaze. A million questions run through my head as I wonder what's going to change once he knows. And why is Major Hood so confident that he won't kick me out once he knows?
"What's the story?" I ask shaking my head. "What role did my brother play here?"
Major Hood shakes his head as well as he says, "It's not the role your brother played, it's the role Luke played."
I watch him carefully awaiting answers that make a bit more sense than that but I don't get anything. I can see the paranoia in his features as he looks just as nervous as the rest of us.
"What does that mean?" I ask him.
"You'll have to ask him yourself," is all Major Hood says as he shakes his head.
I want to groan in annoyance and beg for answers but then again, I know I'm going to have to bring it up to him eventually and get the answers from him myself. I just fear he won't give me the answers I need.
"Is this really that big of a deal that I'm his sister?" I ask Major Hood, half-fearfully, and half-curiously.
Major Hood pauses before nodding his head, "Yes, it's a big deal that Declan James' little sister is on our campgrounds and preparing for war."
I try to put together what he means by this but I settle on the fact that I have to talk to Lieutenant Hemmings. The only person who probably will be willing to give me those answers is him.
And I don't even know if he'll give me them.
What the hell did Declan do while he was here?
Wanting answers now, I stand up from the seat and say, "Then fine, let's talk to him."
They both look to me shocked, probably surprised I'm suddenly all for telling Lieutenant Hemmings when moments before I was terrified to do so. However, I need answers and if telling him will give me answers, then I want to tell him now.
Plus, Major Hood made it fairly clear that I won't be kicked out by Lieutenant Hemmings. So, what do I have to lose at this point?
Without another word, I walk out of Major Hood's cabin that's right by Lieutenant Hemmings'. They both seem to immediately follow me probably anticipating this moment and all that's to come. Hell, I'm even anxious myself as I need answers that no one would ever give me.
If I'm going to be here, I need to know what's going on.
I walk faster than usual as I spot the cabin with the lights on signaling to me he's still up. I just hope he's there. After all, he did storm off there once I proved him wrong so I don't know where else he would be.
"Wait, Lila, let me handle this," I hear Major Hood call after me.
However, I ignore it as I am determined to do whatever I need to to finally get someone to tell me the truth about things around here.
So with that, I don't hesitate to march right up to Lieutenant Hemmings' cabin. This is my business therefore, I want answers, word for word, and nothing sugarcoated. And I'm certainly ready for things to change around here for the better.
Walking up the stairs, I decide not to knock considering I practically live here too. Nothing can hold me back at this point and I'm not letting anyone slow me down.
Entering the living area, I walk towards his door and hear Michael and Major Hood trail in too.
"Lila-" Michael tries but it isn't long before I'm throwing open the door to Lieutenant Hemmings' room regardless. I have no fear in me anymore as I'm tired of messing around and am ready to demand for someone to tell me something.
Lieutenant Hemmings notices me immediately as he looks up from his desk where he seems to be shuffling papers. Anger crosses his features due to me storming into his room but I don't address it in the slightest. I stand in the doorframe, watching as he notices Michael and Major Hood behind me.
I don't hesitate to look him directly in the eyes and say, "We need to talk."
a/n
double update for u lovelies
luckily i have so much of this pre-written so it's easy to edit it a wee bit and get some updates for u ladies
but TEAAA
lots is to come in the next few chaps as lots of answers are coming
how do u think luke is going to react?? wtf happens next??
lmk ur predictions (-:
love u all so much!