"... Flick the hand the same way you would a wand. Let the magic flow through your veins the same way it flows through the wand's core and out of it..." she sighed as she quietly read to herself, "Yeah, as if it's that easy."
"Having trouble, Miss Lilith?" She looked up from the dining table, watching Dumbledore stroll past her, sitting down next to her.
"Oh, sir, no..." she closed the thick book, tucking her hair away, "I was just reading the book I found on wandless magic. It isn't simple, as I recall you saying."
Dumbledore nodded, his own breath leaving through his nose, "Yes, well, as all things do, you need to practice. Tell me, have you tried?"
Yes, and I almost killed a student.
"Erm, well something did happen, sir," she said slowly, afraid to look him in the eye, alarmed he might see her secret, "I was practicing and I got a little annoyed. Actually, I got quite angry. And... I let out a spell."
Dumbledore stared intently, registering every word she said. He furrowed his brows, afraid of what she might say next, "What are you saying?"
"Well, this green magic came out of my fingertips and... I knocked a few books over," Books and a whole human, she thought to herself, "But, it was weird because the book says one must be calm and concentrated to do wandless magic. I wasn't either."
Albus stared at the book on the table, his brain working, almost being able to hear the machinery that is his mind work. He voiced his thoughts to her, assuring her to practice and continue as she is. But as Astera recieved advice on something that interested her, Draco was alone in the Room of Requirement, his knuckles bruised from the contact of his skin to the wooden cabinet.
His breaths were heavy and fast, his head spinning and colours making him sick. His stomach turned and rumbled as he voiced out spells, cussing himself for telling Snape the cabinet was almost finished. Why did he lie, that stupid boy?
His fingers grabbed the quill he left on an old desk, scratching off the spell he had just used. His body was limp and tired. It felt as if the days were an endless loop when he was there. Like a film with no ending. Just characters going on forever. The blouse he wore was unbuttoned, exposing his chest as the first three buttons laid on his body. His sleeves were rolled up messy, exposing the covered up Dark Mark that was barely healing.
"Dammit!" his fists crashed against it again, laying his head on the wood and exhaling roughly, "I can't do this now."
He slumped himself on the floor, resting his back on the cabinet. He cursed it many times, talking to it as if it would talk back like a human. Draco's mind had separated into two dueling brains, both fighting over what was more important. The voices in his head constantly argued over his family, Snape, the Dark Lord, the legacy he had to keep and the girl he had kissed. A mudblood.
He was caught in an endless loop of thoughts and ideas, not sure whether he should just keep going with the lie he feeds her, or come clean to both her and Snape, possibly getting killed by one of them. The double life he had been keeping up for both parties was draining him out, frightening him that he might accidentally spill something to the wrong side. It was becoming too confusing for him. Too exhausting.
But, something that had made him anxious was her. Not her literally, more about what they were going to do when Christmas was over. Was he going to hold her hand proudly in the halls, or was he going to push her away, make her hate him and keep her safe? What would they do when the seasons change? Would either of them stand by each other, or would they be enemies again, fighting on different sides? Draco knew what was coming. A war. And he was on the side she feared and hated.
☆☆☆☆☆☆
When the sun had set and casted an orange glow on the lake, Astera let out a breath she had held for a while, feeling her lungs ease up. Her hands were warming up in her pockets as her head was covered with a knitted hat. Her hair provided some warmth to the back of her neck, tickling her slightly as she moved.
She had went to see Hagrid, filling him in on what had happened but, obviously leaving out a part of it. The tree before the lake felt like a safe and hidden place to her, though it was known by many students. She hadn't seen Draco at all today, wondering where he had gone off to. But, then again, she was glad she didn't see him. What would she possibly say, or do, after their encounter? She didn't know whether she liked him or his touch, kiss and warmth. She was confused and that was rare. Astera was never confused or battling her thoughts. She always had it figured out. Only this time, nothing was figured out. Her little bet and joke turned into something more, something serious. Draco wasn't just a boy she had to win over and get him to do a charm; be was now someone she read to, someone she danced with and kissed under a blanket of stars. He was someone.
"Avoiding me, I see!" Draco jokingly shouted as he strolled down the slight hill, his coat covering up a brown sweater with dress pants. His neck was covered with a grey scarf and a Slytherin pin was pierced through it.
He noticed her head turn, his eyes glimmering as they locked onto her own.
"Not avoiding. Besides, you were the one gone all day," she stood up, dusting her hands from the snow. Draco finally reached her, standing in front of her.
"You're saying I avoided you?"
"You wouldn't." she smiled, raising a brow. Her hands adjusted her hat, those gentle fingertips of hers red and the rest of her hands pale from the cold.
"Maybe," Draco shrugged. Both of his hands took hers in his. He balled her fists and with his large hands covered them as he gently blew warm breath to warm them up.
He noticed the shy smile on her face as she looked down, her eyes tracing around both of their shoes. Draco's finger gently curled against her chin after he let go of her hands, pulling her face up slowly to look at him. Her eyes looked at his lips and then eyes, noticing how his were on hers as well.
"Did I tell you you're beautiful?" he asked quietly, his right hand planting itself on her waist and nudging her closer.
"Not today, no," she smiled cheekily, both her hands on his chest, playing with one of the buttons on his coat.
"You're the most beautiful person, Lilith." he said, dipping his head to her level and kissing her lips softly. His mind no longer faught, instead agreeing that she is, in fact, the right answer.
"You're the most wonderful person, Draco." she said quietly, her lips brushing against his as she spoke, looking up at his eyes through her lashes.
Draco's lips curled up, a small tint of pink on his nose and cheeks, "Yeah?" he asked and she nodded, "Say it again."
Astera laughed, turning her head as Draco's words turned into laughter as well. He poked her back, trying to break her down, repeating his request. She jokingly exhaled in a dramatic manner, turning back to look at him.
"Draco Malfoy, you are the most wonderful person I've ever met."
Draco's eyes lit up, his smile becoming bigger until he gave up and kissed her once more. His hand cupped the back of her neck, pulling her closer if it was possible. She felt his minty breath on the top of her lip, smiling as he kissed her lovingly. She slowly cupped his cheek, running her hand through his hair gently.
He couldn't bring himself to let her go and to pull away, but he must catch his breath. They smiled like love sick teenagers, almost feeling nauseous at the overflow of emotions in one place. His fingers intertwined with her own, pulling her away from the lake. The moon casted a glow on her face, accentuating her beautiful features. They walked mindlessly, not really giving thought as to where they headed. Draco talked quietly, telling her stories of the Malfoy Manor and the tall walls of the library lined with books.
"I like this side of you," she said quietly after a short pause, turning her eyes to him. They walked foot by foot, slowly like an old couple in a park.
"Do you, now?" he jokingly said, smiling down at her, "Well, I've always liked this side of you."
Because you were always so sweet to me. You were always loving and caring and showed me nothing but the beauty that my life could be. You showed me a light that looked like a star in a dark sky.
"You sure? Didn't I almost kill you?"
He shrugged, "Eh, happens to the best of us," he smiled as he heard her laughter, letting go of her hand and wrapping it around her shoulders.