Continues from part 1.
🎄🎁🎀🕊️🦌🌨️🤶🎅MERRY CHRISTMAS!🎅🤶🌨️🦌🕊️🎀🎁🎄
I own NOTHING but my OCs Kevin, Alex, and Saya. Everything else, all rights go to their owners.
EXTREMELY sorry in advance for it being so SUPER long. You HAVE been warned lol. Now enjoy.
WARNING: Trigger Warning.
It will be COMPLETELY different from the actual episode, and also I'll be adding A WHOLE new character to this again. So bare with me here. Okay?..
Liviya is by @Moon_The_Protector
SAYA'S POV:
In the school playground.
Stan - "Whoa, Christmas snow!"
Wendy - "Try to catch snowflakes on your tongue."
A soft instrumental starts up.
Wendy - "It's fun."
The kids shuffle back and forth catching snowflakes.
When Kenny looks up an eagle passes overhead and would've dumped a load - right on Kenny's face if it wasn't for Saya pulling him back in time. So it only got his chest.
Kenny - "(Thanks.)"
Saya - "You're welcome sweetie."
Cartman is watching with glee.
Kenny - "(P'tooui.)"
Stan - "That was sick, dude!"
Saya - "Would've been even sicker if I hadn't pulled him away in time."
Cartman seeing Kyle lolling for a snowflake.
Cartman - "Hey!" I glared at him knowing what's he's up to.
Saya - [Growling] "Cartman. Don't you even fucking dare." But as always, he NEVER listens! Ugh!
Kyle is taken aback
Cartman - "What the hell are you doing? Jewish people can't eat Christmas snow!"
Saya/Alex - "Yes they can too!"
Kyle - "We can, too!"
Stan - "...Nnnaw I think it's against the law, dude."
Saya/Alex - "No it's not!"
Kyle - "Officer Barbrady!"
Saya - *sigh* "Oh great. Here we go again with him."
Liviya - "What's Wrong with him?"
Saya - *Tired sigh* "What's Wrong is that he's EXTREMELY incapable of BEING a cop. He's only on the force because he's the fucking mayor's third removed nephew. And I still haven't been able to get him OFF the force yet BECAUSE of that."
Liviya - [Shocked.] "Wait, really?"
Saya/Alex - "Yeah. Really."
Officer Barbrady - "What?"
A car screeches to a halt as Officer Barbrady raises his arm.
Kyle - "Is it illegal for Jewish people to eat Christmas snow?"
After a long pause.
Officer Barbrady - "Yyess."
Saya/Alex - "NO FUCK IT AIN'T/IT'S NOT!"
Kyle - "Damnit!"
Stan - "Hey come on guys. We have to go to the mall and tell Santa Claus what we want for Christmas."
Saya - "Alex, you take Liviya to see Santa and to keep an eye on both her and Kenny for me. While I stay here with Kyle. Okay?"
Alex - "Alright. Just, be careful. Okay?" I smiled softly.
Saya - "Don't worry, I will." I turned to Kenny, and gave him a small kiss. I glare slightly and point at him. "You mister, have best be careful. Got it?" He nods his head quickly. "Good." I gently yet firmly hug him. [Whispering.] "I just don't ever want to lose you again. Okay my love?" He hugged me tighter After I said that.
Kenny - [Whispered.] "(Same.)" Liviya looked really confused after I let Kenny go. Shit. I guess she heard all of that.
Cartman - "Yeah. We'll see you later, Kyle. Guess there's no reason for you to come, since you don't get Christmas presents." I smacked the back of his head, HARD. "Ow!"
Kyle - "No. But I get Hanukkah presents for eight days."
Saya - "And I think that's really cool too." Both Alex and Liviya nodded.
Alex/Liviya - "Yeah!"
Cartman - "Too bad it's usually a dreidel or something lame like that."
Saya - "No. Not always."
Alex - "It's true."
Stan - "We'll catch up with you later, Kyle and Saya."
Stan walks off with Wendy and the others.
And that's when I noticed small drops of blood here and there. I saw Alex notice it too. He gave me a worried looked since we both know it's MY blood. I very slyly used a bit of my elemental powers over the winds and snow/ice to cover it all up before anyone else saw. Unknowing that Kenny already has, and was really worried now.
Kyle - "Wait! I may not have Santa, but I do have Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo." Me, Alex, and Liviya all face palmed and groaned. Me and Alex especially.
Stan - "Wha-what is this about Christmas Poo, dude?"
Saya - *sigh* "Stan, please stop encouraging him."
Alex - "Really dude."
Kyle - "Mr. Hankey. He comes out of the toilet every year and gives presents to everybody who has a lot of fiber in their diet." All three of us stepped back some.
Saya - "Okay, I very nearly puked on that." Kenny looked at me concerned since I know I probably look a little green now. Same with Alex and Liviya too when I looked at them. But unfortunately, Liviya really DID throw up a bit.
Alex - "Same." He was trying to help her. Damn. Really weak stomach then. No going on missions for her then. Which is extremely good actually since I REALLY don't want her to get hurt. You?
Saya - "Plus no offense kid, but they must be some shity ass gifts too. Most definitely pun intended for that one." The rest of us chuckled at the pun.
Cartman - "Uh, Kyle? Come on, seriously? You are really reaching right now."
Saya/Alex - "Really dude."
Kyle - "Well! You're gonna be sorry when you see me riding around on Santa's sleigh with Mr. Hankey, fatass!"
Cartman - "You're not gonna ride on Santa's sleigh 'cause you're a Jew, Kyle."
Saya/Alex - "Yes they can too!"
Cartman and Kenny walks away.
Stan - "See you around, dude."
Stan follows Cartman away. With Alex and Liviya right behind them.
Kyle is left alone with Saya in the playground as winds howl around them. The camera zooms in on him as the intro to his song plays.
Kyle - "It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas.
My friends won't let me join in any games.
And I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree or leave water out for Rudolph 'cause there's something wrong with me.
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity.
I'm a Jew.
A lonely Jew.
On Christmas..." I follow him around just to make sure he doesn't try anything. And I can even see Kagami watching us from a distance, while "trying" to be really sneaky. 'I can still sense you girl, so you ain't fooling me kid.'
He walks away, then peeks at the mall from behind a tree. Stan is on Santa's lap while Alex, Liviya, Cartman, and Kenny wait in line, now forming on Santa's left.
Kyle - "Channukah is nice, but why is it
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating ham I have to eat kosher latke.
Instead of Silent Night I'm singing huhash dogavish.
And what the fuck is up with lighting all these fucking candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew.
A lonely Jew.
I'd be merry.
But I'm Hebrew.
On Christ-maas."
'Damn. My poor half cousin. I feel really bad for him.' Yeah, it turns out that he's my half cousin from my dad's side of the family since he was half jewish. I didn't find out until a couple of days ago when I was in the main library looking through some old family pictures and trees.
He walks down the road, past a Toy Shoppe and a stand of Christmas trees. The camera pulls back as he walks out of view. I ran a bit to catch up to him, and to stop him.
Saya - "Hey, wait a minute." Shit, even just a small light jog made me lose my breath a lot. But as always, I never let it show.
Kyle - [Surprised.] "Oh! Saya! I didn't know you were still here. How come you're not with the others?"
Saya - "Yeah. I was really worried about you. And besides, Alex is with Liviya right now. And knowing her, she's probably already planning something for me with Alex's help."
Kyle - "Oh yeah! I heard you got a new little sister! Congratulations Saya!" I chuckled softly.
Saya - "Yeah! And I've never been happier! And thanks! But that's not why I really stopped you."
Kyle - "Oh?"
Saya - "Yeah. It's cause I have something really important to tell you."
Kyle - "Oh? What is it?"
Saya - "Yeah. I wanted to tell you that you're not alone."
Kyle - "I'm not? What do you mean?"
Saya - "No. You're not. And what I mean is that I'm actually half jew." That Shocked him. And I don't blame him either. It IS quite the bombshell. Right?
Kyle - "Wait, what!?"
Saya - "Yeah! It turns out that I'm half jewish from my dad's side of the family. I didn't find out until a couple of days ago when I was in the main library looking through some old family pictures and trees. And guess what else!?" I was really happy. I was even a bit gitty too. He was both confused and concerned about my reaction. Oh he has NO idea! Hehe!
Kyle - "And what's that?"
Saya - "We're half cousins!" He froze for a few seconds, and then both him AND Kagami yelled at the same time. Making me giggle.
Kyle/Kagami - "Wait, WHAT!?"
Saya - "Yeah!"
Kyle - "How!?"
Saya - "Well, it turns out that my dad was half jewish. And that he was YOUR dad's fifth cousin. Who was removed from the family a few times for marrying a christian. My mom. So in short, we're actually half cousins!" 'And now Kagami can stop being so fucking mean and rude to me thinking I'm going to steal her mate away from her. Fucking bitch. And besides, I have my OWN mate Thank you very fucking much!' After a few seconds of standing there frozen, he hugged tackled me into a small snow bank. Both of us giggling up a storm. And in the distance, I faintly heard Kagami start to walk away. I just barely heard her over our Giggling.
ALEX'S POV:
Outside City Hall a crowd gathers.
Saya - *Tired sigh* "Oh great. Here we fucking go again." I'm with Saya on this one. I turned to say something to her, but I immediately stopped. She was looking paler than usual! She also has a few small beads of sweat on her too! I even saw she was standing really stiff, in a LOT of pain, and having a slightly harder time breathing too! Shit! I gently grabbed her right shoulder, while telling Kevin what's going on through our mind links.
Alex - [Whispered.] "Saya? What's wrong sis?" She gave me a quick side glance, and I faintly saw her eyes flash. I faintly gasped knowing what it means. She's slowly dying from blood poisoning! She faintly nodded her head once as I started to tear up a bit. Blood poisoning is when A life-threatening complication occurs of an infection. Sepsis, Also called: septicemia, occurs when chemicals released in the bloodstream to fight an infection trigger inflammation throughout the body. This can cause a cascade of changes that damage multiple organ systems, leading them to fail, sometimes even resulting in death. '...no.. The demon much have had some type of poison on his claws. *Devastated sigh*..shit Saya...' Saya - 'I know Alex, I know. But the others don't know, and I plan on fucking KEEPING it that way too damn it!' 'And I won't tell them. But I did tell kevin.' Saya - 'Thats fine.' After a few seconds of sad silence, we went back to what's going on.
Mayor McDaniels - "Ahem. Okay everybody, settle down."
Saya - "Really." Me and Liviya nodded in agreement.
Alex - "Got that right."
Large woman - "Mayor, we are deeply offended by the Nativity scene in front of the capital office. Church and State are separate!"
Some men - "No! Wrong!"
Alex/Saya - "Exactly!"
Kyle appearing among his friends.
Saya - "Oh, hey Kyle." Both me and Saya noticed faint pale pink lipstick on his lips. Saya - 'Huh, so THAT'S where he's been after I left.' I was really confused. 'What?' Saya - '*sigh* I'll explain later. Okay?' 'Okay.'
Kyle - "What's going on, you guys?"
Stan - "The whole town's pissed off at each other. It's really sweet."
Saya - "Um, I guess?"
Alex - "Really." Liviya nodded in agreement still sucking on one of the many candy canes santa gave us. I smiled softly remembering her reaction to seeing him for the first time. I even snapped a picture since I know both Saya AND Kevin would kill me if I didn't.
Sheila - "That isn't all, Mayor! The school play is doing a Nativity scene! It isn't being sensitive to the Jewish community!"
Mr. Garrison - "You are the Jewish community!" I threw a rock at him for Saya since she's in too much pain. I silently sniffed. I saw Kenny gently checking on her at the corner of my eye. "Ow!"
Crowd - "Yeah! Yeah!"
Alex/Saya - "Hey!" Me, Liviya, and Kenny turned to Saya concerned when she started to cough a bit. But me and Kenny were really concerned since we know what usually happens when she starts coughing. We haven't told Liviya about any of that yet. And hopefully she won't ever have to find out. For her own protection of course. Right? I gently squeezed her hand since she never let it go since we left Santa.
Cartman - "Oh, boy! Super-bitch is at it again!" Both me and Saya elbowed him in the chest, HARD. "Ah!"
Kyle - "Don't call my mom a bitch, Cartman!"
Saya/Alex - "Yeah!"
Father Maxi - "Mayor, the Nativity is what Christmas is all about. If you remove Christ, you must remove Santa and Frosty and all of that garbage, too!"
Saya/Alex /Liviya/Kenny - [Pissed.] "Hey!"/"(Hey!)"
The crowd cheers in agreement. Me and Saya started growling. But her's was deeper cause of the pain. Her healing powers aren't helping for some reason.
Woman - "Hallelujah!"
Man - "Amen!"
Tree hugger - "And we must put a stop to the cutting down of Christmas trees!"
Saya/Alex/Liviya - "Yeah!"
Man 1 - "Raah!"
Man 2 - "Give me a break!"
Uncle Jimbo - "And I'm sick and tired of those little flaps on coffee lids. If you don't want to spill your coffee, you shouldn't be driving with it." Saya - '*sigh* Insert awkward cricket sounds.' 'Really hehe.'
The crowd processes Jimbo's words.
Crowd - "Yeah! Yeah!" Both me us sighed and face palmed in disappointment.
Mayor McDaniels - "Okay, people, we clearly need to reach a compromise. Perhaps we need a new icon for Christmas."
Alex/Saya/Liviya/Kenny - "NO!"/"(NO!)"
Assistant 1 - "Oooo, brilliant idea, Mayor!"
Saya/Alex - "NO IT'S MOTHER FUCKING NOT!" Saya really started to cough now. Shit. Fuck, I can smell blood faintly. We really need to get back home. And knowing Kenny, he'll be coming with us. And would try to stay too, like always.
The crowd mulls over the suggestion.
Kyle - "Hey! How about Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo?"
Saya - *sigh* "Oh dear. Here we go again."
Alex - "Really." Liviya nodded in agreement Again. She's still really shy around new people. Poor kid.
Mayor McDaniels - "Ex-cuse me?"
Kyle - "Mr. Hankey. He comes out of the toilet every year and gives presents to everybody who has a lot of fiber in their diet."
Sheila - "Kyle! Sshhh!"
Saya - *sigh* [Whispering.] "Really cousin." Oh good, she told him. Yeah, she told us first of course. And by the looks of it, Stan, and Kenny were surprised by that. But the king of all fats is now really Pissed of. No damn surprised there. Right?
Kyle - "It's true. He doesn't care what faith you are.
Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.
He loves me and I love you.
Therefore, vicariously he loves you.
Even if-."
Cartman - "[Stopping Kyle.] "Never mind him. He's a very disturbed little boy."
Saya/Alex - "Unlike you you Fucking fat ass?" Me and Saya smiled softly when Liviya tried to cover her Giggling. But was obviously failing.
Kenny - "(Kyle's crazy!)"
Stan - "Yeah."
Saya/Alex - "Really."
Saya - *sad sigh* "Unfortunately. But only a little bit though. But really though, aren't we ALL at least a LITTLE bit crazy in some way or another?"
Alex - "She DOES have a valid point." Right?
Sheila - "Okay, Kyle, we're leaving right nowww."
Sheila drags him away.
Saya - "Well, bye then." She blinks a few times in confusion.
Kyle - "Wait..."
Mayor McDaniels - "Anyway, I'll put together a crack team of my best workers to make sure this'll be the most non-offensive Christmas ever - to any religious or minority group of any kind. Are there any other suggestions?"
Saya - "Heavy on the crack haha."
Alex/Kenny - "Really haha!"/"(Really haha!)" Liviya started to giggle Again. Good.
Mr. Garrison raises his hand. Me, Saya, AND Kenny started to growl at him in warning know what's coming.
Mayor McDaniels - "Yes, Mr. Garrison."
Mr. Garrison - "Can we get rid of all the Mexicans?"
Saya - *sigh* "I fucking knew it."
Alex/Kenny - "Really."/"(Really.)" Liviya just nodded.
Looks back, then.
Mayor McDaniels - "No, Mr. Garrison, we cannot get rid of all the Mexicans."
Mr. Garrison - "Rats!"
Saya - [Growled mumbling.] "Fucking mateless bastard." Thankfully only me and Kenny saw her slyly use her Plantmancer¹ powers and made some grass grow and gave him a long cut on his right leg.
Mr. Garrison - "Ouch!" We started to Chuckle a bit as he started to hop up and down holding his hurt leg. But started to really laugh with everyone else when he dropped Mr. Hat, stepped on it, slipped, and fell with a loud and hard thud. Luckily we cought it film for later. And for both Kevin and Kyle to watch later too.
THIRD PERSON'S POV:
Kyle's house, the living room. Ike opens up his present - a dreidel. He gives it a spin. The camera pans to the right and stops at Kyle and his dad.
Gerald Broflovski - "It is sick and disgusting, and we simply will not have it!"
Sheila pops out from behind Gerald.
Sheila - "Your father's right, Kyle."
Gerald - "Sheila, let me handle this. Having imaginary friends is fine, Kyle, but this simply will not do!"
Sheila pops out again.
Sheila - "Listen to your father, Kyle."
The dreidel has gone off to the right, and Ike goes after it, bumping into the coffee table. The Channukah menorah on it (day 6) falls on Ike, and he begins to burn.
Gerald - "Now, I want you to repeat after me: 'There is no such thing as Mr. Hankey'."
Kyle - "But dad, he always sh..."
Gerald - "Say it!"
Kyle - "There's no such thing as Mr. Hankey."
Gerald - "Again!"
Kyle - "There's no such thing as Mr. Hankey."
Sheila pops out again.
Sheila - "This is for your own good, bubbe."
Gerald - "Now, you go brush your teeth and march into bed! You won't be opening your Channukah present tonight!"
Kyle - [Softly, under his breath.] "Probably just another stupid dreidel anyway."
Gerald - "What did you say?!"
Kyle enters his room.
Kyle - "I said Ike's on fire!"
Ike - "Oh oh. On flame? Oh oh. On flame?"
Sheila - "Oh my God!"
Gerald quickly smothers Ike with a blanket to douse the flames.
Kyle's house, the bathroom. He is brushing his teeth.
Kyle - "It isn't fair! I don't want to be an outcast!"
A voice is echoing from the toilet
Voice - "Kyle."
Kyle faces the toilet, then returns to brushing his teeth.
Kyle - "I'm not hearing that."
Voice - "Kyle."
Kyle hops down and goes to the toilet, then looks into it.
Kyle - "Mr. Hankey?"
Mr. Hankey pops up and makes his entrance wearing white gloves and a red elf cap.
Mr. Hankey - "Howwwwdy-hoooo."
Mr. Hankey jumps onto the sink.
Mr. Hankey - "Howdy-ho, Kyle. Gosh, you're looking swell."
Kyle - [Now wary.] "Go away, Mr. Hankey."
Mr. Hankey - "You know something, Kyle? You smell an awful lot like flowers."
Kyle - "I said go away! My father said you aren't real."
Mr. Hankey - "Not real? Well shucks. If I weren't real, could I sing this jolly Christmas song?"
He begins to sing. As he does so, he skips around the room and leaves bits of poo behind.
Mr. Hankey - "Santa Claus is on his way.
He's loaded goodies on his sleigh.
To drop them off on Christmas Day.
And I'll say 'Howdy-ho'."
Kyle - "Mr. Hankey! Sshhhh! I'll get in trouble."
Mr. Hankey - "Folks'll gather round the fire.
Sing a song, stroll the choir.
Pretty song they'll all retire.
And I'll say 'Howdy-ho'."
He leaves 'NOEL' written in poop on the vanity mirror.
Gerald knocks on the door.
Gerald - "Kyle, what are you doing in there?"
Kyle - "Nothing."
He knocks again.
Gerald - "Open this door!"
Mr. Hankey - "I hope that Santa comes real soon
I've been waiting for some we..."
Kyle - "Mr. Hankey, come here."
Kyle grabs Mr. Hankey and muffles him, and turns as Gerald opens the door. Gerald sees a bathroom smeared with feces everywhere, and a boy facing him holding a big piece of it in his left hand. He gasps and remains speechless.
Gerald - "KYLE!"
Kyle throttles the poo.
Kyle - "Say something, Mr. Hankey!"
It falls over, and Kyle looks forsaken.
Kyle's bedroom. Kyle is now in bed.
Gerald - "Now, you get to sleep, and think about how your poor mother has to clean that bathroom up!"
Sheila - "Whatwhatwhaaat?! Me?!"
Gerald looks towards his room and quickly closes the door.
Mr. Hankey is now on Kyle's comforter.
Mr. Hankey - "Howdy-ho!"
Kyle - "Mr. Hankey! Where the hell did you go?"
Mr. Hankey - "You should be wearing socks to sleep, Kyle. You're gonna catch a cold."
Kyle - "Nobody believes in you, not even my friends and cousins²."
Mr. Hankey - "Aw, gee, that's too bad."
Kyle - "Hey! How about you come to school with me tomorrow, so I can at least prove I'm not crazy to my friends."
Mr. Hankey - "Say, that sounds like a swell idea. We can show everyone the true spirit of Christmas."
Kyle - "Yeah! We'll show them!"
Kyle smiles, pleased with the idea.
KEVIN'S POV:
Downtown South Park.
I sighed in pure disappointment. I just can't believe this all this bull shit as Alex and Saya said last night as I was trying to slow the blood poisoning in Saya. Hopefully she'll love through Christmas. For everyone's sake. Right? This was supposed to be Liviya's first OFFICIAL Christmas, and then THIS happens.
Mayor McDaniels - "Okay, people, we've got to turn this place around! Take down anything that is offensive to any specific group!"
The crowd sets about dismantling the decorations. A man removes Santa's head from his sleigh and tosses it onto the street.
I sighed softly. It's actually a good thing they can't do anything about our decorations since it's the Phoenix House.³
Uncle Jimbo calls forth from his shop.
Uncle Jimbo - "Is mistletoe offensive?"
Mayor McDaniels - "Is anyone offended by mistletoe?"
One man raises his hand. I sighed. 'Of course.'
Mayor McDaniels - "Lose the mistletoe!"
Jimbo clips it off.
SAYA'S POV:
Bus stop.
I was hugging Kenny from behind and with my chin resting on his right shoulder, breathing in his sweet calming scent with my eyes closed just like I always do. I was even purring softly too. Much to his amusement. But if I was leaning a bit heavier on him than usual, he never said anything. Luckily in a way he wasn't able to stay over last night like he really wanted to, since poor little Karen got sick. But luckily papa was able to give her some medicine to help. Thank the Gods is was only a simple cold. Right? Even though Kenny was sad he wasn't able to stay with me, we were still able to talk through call. But unfortunately he heard me hiss in pain and got really worried. So much so, he nearly came back over. I told him that I slipped while training, and fell on one of the big mirrors. And some of the glass got imbedded in my back, and sliced my right hand too. All true but the back part. I hissed in pain cause Papa was putting a cream mixture on my back again and FUCK it really fucking stings like fucking white hot burning hell! I had to get it again this morning. I couldn't even fucking sleep like at ALL last night too. Papa tried to help, but it never lasted long. So yeah, I'm WAY BEYOND fucking exhausted right, AND in a LOT of pain right now. And everyone, but Cartman of course, was really worried about me. Alex and Papa wanted me to stay home, but I couldn't. I NEED to make damn sure NOTHING happens to my precious mate. I slowly looked up to see Liviya wasn't really paying attention since she was beyond happy having Malinda with her now. The papers finally came in.
Stan - "You guys! I'm getting that John Elway football helmet for Christmas!"
Cartman - "How do you know?"
Stan - "'Cause I looked in my parents' closet last night." I weakly glared at him.
Saya - [Weak growling tone.] "Stanley Marsh." I tried to stand up straighter, but I couldn't. I need Kenny's blood, and I can tell he knew it too. He's planning something. I was about to say something about it when I suddenly caught the scent of his blood. I zeroed in on his newly cut finger. And I know my breathing and heartbeat quicken a bit, and that my pupils got big from the soft and warm look I saw in his eyes. I immediately froze time as he offered his bleeding finger to me. I gently grabbed his hand and slowly and carefully started to lick the blood away. I was even gently squeezing it every now and then to get more. After a couple of minutes, I finally forced myself to stop. I quickly healed the cut. Not even leaving a scar. Good.
After a few moments, I regained my composer. I slowly opened my now green eyes and saw warmth and love in his beautiful blue eyes. I put a glamour over my eyes to make them look Crystal blue. But only Alex, Papa, and now Kenny can see through it. I gently yet firmly hugged him.
Saya - [Whispering.] "Thank you sweetie. You have no idea how much I really needed that. I can feel myself slowly getting stronger. Again, thanks baby." He hugged me back just as gently yet firmly.
Kenny - "(You're welcome baby. And any time. I knew you needed it. I felt it though the marks.)" 'Shit! I completely forgot about that! Fuck. I need to be more careful for now on.' I kissed him softly and lovingly right before I unfroze time. I was still feeling a bit weak, so I just went back to snuggling him.
Cartman - "Yeah? Well I sneaked around my mom's closet too, and saw what I'm getting. The Ultravibe Pleasure 2000." Me and Alex snorted in laughter knowing it's a dildo. And by Kenny's silent laughing, he knew it too.
Stan - "What's that?"
Cartman - "I don't know, but it sounds pretty sweet." They all gave us confused looks when we started to laugh more. Oh dear Lord they have NO fucking idea Haha!
Kyle arrives. Both mine and Alex's noses cringe at the smell. I put an air bubble around our heads. And a tiny one over Liviya's too after I saw her nose slightly cringe too. Kenny's sense of smell isn't as strong as ours. Yet.
Kyle - "Hello, everybodyyy."
Stan - "What's in the box, dude?"
Saya/Alex - "We know."
Kyle - "It's a surprise."
Saya - "An Extremely DISGUSTING one."
Alex- "You got THAT right."
Cartman - "Let me see!"
The boys gather around the box. But Kenny couldn't really get close since I was still hugging him from behind. And Alex was keeping Liviya back with a gentle hand on her left shoulder.
Kyle - "O-Okay. But don't scare him..."
Saya - [Emotionless.] "Riiight."
Alex - [Emotionless.] "Really."
A shot of what Mr. Hankey sees as Stan pops the lid open, then a top-down view as the poo is shown in all it's glory. Cartman and Stan blink.
Stan - [Angrily.] "Dude, sick!!!"
Saya/Alex - "THAT'S the understatement of the year!"
Kyle looks down at his poo.
Cartman - "Is this some kind of Jewish tradition?"
Saya/Alex - [Angry.] "No it's not!" I coughed slightly since my throat still hurts.
Kenny - "(That is the sickest thing I have ever fucking seen!)"
Saya/Alex - "We've actually seen WAY sicker stuff than that, but yeah. Extremely sick dude!" Both Kenny and Liviya gave us concerned/confused looks, but Kenny's was more concerned. If only they knew. Right?
Kyle - "Wait! You guys! He's alive!"
Kyle jostles the box. Me and Alex cringed slightly at the faint sick sound it made. All three familiars did too. 'Hm. That reminds me. I really need to find one for Karen, and possibly Kenny too. Hm. What do you think readers? Any ideas?' Alex - '*sigh* Saya, stop breaking the fourth wall already damn it.' 'Hehe. You know that I can't help it. Plus you and Papa do it too you know.' Alex - 'Touche.' 'Exactly haha.'
Stan - "Kyle, I think you'd better get home and get some sleep."
Kyle is shaking the box now.
Saya - [Whispering.] "Ugh, the sound."
Alex - [Whispering.] "Really." Kenny, Liviya, and our familiars all nodded in agreement.
Kyle - "Come on, dance! Daaance! Dance, damn you!!"
Saya - *Sad sigh* Poor Sod³."
Alex - "Really."
KEVIN'S POV
I can't believe they actually dragged me here. Just because I have a major in it, doesn't mean I want to BE here.
Research Center, a Researcher is shown before at least six subjects.
Researcher - "Now this is very simple. I'm going to say words and the computer will measure how offended you are by them. In this way we can find out which words are least offensive for use in the holiday season. Are we ready?" I sighed in disappointment since I know this is NOT going to end well. My poor youngest baby girl. This really isn't how I wanted her first official Christmas to go.
The group looks back at him.
Researcher - "Here we go: Christ"
Two responses. I actually growled some at that. 'Hey, just because I'm a full bat demon, doesn't mean I'm not a christian. Demon's can be Christians and holly too you know.'
Researcher - "Hm. Okay. Cherub."
No response. I raised an eyebrow at that one. 'Really? They're not offended by a CHILD Angel? But they ARE at the savour of ALL?! What the FUCK is wrong with these humans!?' (You know, I've been trying to figure that out too.)
Researcher - "Hm... Camel"
One response. 'Hm. It must be a fear then. Hey, I've actually came across a few people that are.'
Researcher - "Hm. Sad." 'Really. Right?'
No response. 'Really!?'
Researcher - "Stupid Wop Dago⁴."
All respond. 'The fuck!?'
Researcher - "Bench..."
I released a deep exhausted sigh knowing this will take ALL day, and I have WAY more important things to do.
SAYA'S POV:
South Park Elementary, the school gym. The janitors are clearing out the decorations. Me, Alex, AND Liviya all sighed in pure sadness. Me and Alex each had an arm around Liviya since she's the most saddest one out of all of us. I turned to My right when I heard a faint gagging sound. That's when I saw Kagami move away from Kyle very quickly. Huh, and even though they're mates, I guess even SHE'S keeping her distance from him too. And I really don't blame her either. You?
Mr. Garrison - "Aw, do you have to take away the Christmas tree, too?"
Saya/Alex - "I'm with you on that one." Liviya just nodded sadly still looking down. We both gently, yet firmly, hugged her in comfort.
Saya - [Soothingly.] "Hey now, we still have OUR decorations and everything at home. Right?"
Alex - [Soothingly.] "She's right you know." She seemed to cheer up some. Good.
Janitor 2 - "Mayor's orders." Both me and Alex growled annoyingly at that.
Mr. Garrison - "Okay, children, I'm really having a hard time with our Christmas play. The new law states we can't sing any songs having to do with Jesus or Santa Claus."
Saya - "It was extremely bad and cringy anyways."
Alex - "Really." And for an added effect, we both cringed and shuddered. We both smiled softly when Kenny, Liviya, and even Kagami started to giggle at the jokes. Good.
Cartman - "Thanks to Kyle's mother."
Saya - "Hey, she's just trying to look out for her child. Like all mother's should." I faintly saw the faint hurt in all three of there eyes. Shit. Sorry guys.
Alex - "She's right you know."
Kyle - "Shut up, Cartman!"
Saya/Alex - "Really fat-ass!"
Mr. Garrison - "So does anybody know any non-Santa or non-Jesus Christmas songs."
Saya/Alex - "Does japanese and german ones count?" That Shocked them. Especially Liviya, Kenny, AND Kagami. Hehe.
Cartman raises his hand. Me and Alex growled in warning since we both know what's about to happen next. And we both got into positions for us both to spin kick him in chest after he sings it. 'Sorry Kyle.' Both Liviya and Kenny saw this, and wisely stepped out of the way. Good.
Mr. Garrison - "Yes, Eric?"
Cartman - "How about we sing "Kyle's Mom is a Stupid Bitch", in D minor."
Kyle - "I told you not to call my mom a bitch, Cartman!"
Saya/Alex - [Angry.] "Really!"
Cartman - "O-ho. Weeeeeeeeeellll
Kyle's mom is a bitch,
she's a big fat bitch,
she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She a stupid bitch,
if there ever was a bitch,
she's a bitch to all the boys and girls."
Kyle/Saya/Alex - "Shut up, Cartman!"
Mr. Hankey pops to life. Only me and Alex saw. Both of us thinking the same thing; [Shocked.] 'The FUCK!?'
Mr. Hankey - "Howdy-ho!" I leaned over to Alex.
Saya - [Disbelief whispering.] "Um, you're seeing this too. Right?"
Alex - [Disbelief whispering.] "Yeah. I see a talking piece of shit wearing a red cap and white gloves too." I nodded my head.
Saya - [Disbelief whispering.] "Okay. Good. So I'm NOT going crazy then. Well, crazier."
Alex - [Disbelief whispering.] "Really. And no. You're not. Unless I'm in the same crazy boat with you sis." We both nodded in agreement.
Kyle - [Hushed.] "Mr. Hankey."
Cartman - "Monday she's a bitch,
on Tuesday she's a bitch,
on Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitch
Then on Sunday, just to be different,
she's a super King Kamehameha bi-atch!" Okay, we had to Chuckle a tad bit at that one haha.
The class is clapping along gleefully by now, while Kyle, Saya, and Alex looks at Cartman with ire. Liviya just hugged Malinda closer.
Mr. Hankey - "Golly, that isn't very nice." 'No it's not.' Alex - 'Really.'
Kyle turns to hear him.
Mr. Hankey - "I'd sure like to teach him a lesson."
Mr. Garrison joins in the clapping, but he's off beat. 'Get ready alex.' Alex - 'Already ahead of you sis.' 'Good.'
Cartman - "Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.
She's a mean ole bitch 'cause she has stupid hair,
she a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
she's a stupid bitch!
Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch!
KYLE'S MOOOM IS A - BIIIIII-I-I-ITCH - aahh." But right before we could jump to spin kick him in the chest, Kyle beat us to it. Damn. And we've been really practicing hard on it too. *pout*
Kyle - "Mr. Hankey, no!"
Mr. Hankey - "Mmmrrr-aaarrrggghhh!!!"
Mr. Hankey attacks Cartman.
Mr. Garrison - "What the..." Me and Alex blinked a few times in shock and confusion.
Saya/Alex - "Really!"
The poo is now on the floor, and the class gasps. Liviya started to turn green Again, so I quickly turned her around and gently pushed her to a bucket one of the janitors left.
Cartman - "Gross, Kyle!"
Mr. Garrison - "Oh my lord, Kyle, did you just throw doo-doo at Eric?"
Saya/Alex - "Yes!"
Kyle - "Uuuuuuhh..."
Cartman- "YOU SICK BASTARD!"
Saya/Alex - "Really!"
Some snickers are heard.
SAYA'S POV:
The counselor's office, the window showing silhouettes of Stan and Mr. Mackey. Two other students waits outside.
I was sitting outside for moral support. And just like before, Craig was out here too. I smiled a bit at him.
Saya - "Hey again Craig. Flipped up the principal Again?" He actually looked a bit surprised that I was here again. Hehe.
Craig - "Oh, hey Saya. And no, not this time." I cocked my head to the side.
Saya - "Oh?" He smirked.
Craig - "Yeah. I double flipped off her, and a few teachers too." I chuckled at that.
Saya - "Haha! Sweet man!" I fist bumped him.
Craig - "Hehe, yeah. Thanks."
Saya- "You're welcome man" Oh! Here, I have a small gift for you. When I saw it, I instantly thought of you. Um, I really hope you like it." He looked really shocked that I got him something.
Craig - [Shocked.] "Wait, you did?" He Blinks a few times in shock.
Saya - "Well, yeah. Why not? You ARE my friend after all." I smiled softly, and handed him the small jewelry box. Now he was shocked. After a few seconds, he finally opened it. I very Faintly heard him gasp. Good. He likes it then.
Craig - "Wha?"
Saya - "Um, yeah.. I noticed how much you love space, the planets, and starts. Hehe, just like me. Also, it's for both you and your soulmate. Whoever they may be. Also I'm, sorry they're a bit girly." After a few seconds, he slowly smiled.
Craig - "Thank you. But, I didn't get you anything." I just waved it off.
Saya - "Naw! It's okay man. You're smile is all I need for a gift." I smiled softly at him for a few more seconds. But then I stood up after I unfroze time. "Sorry to cut this short man, but my cousin needs me. Talk to you later then?" I had my fist out.
Craig - "Yeah." He fist bumped me. I nodded and went inside the room.
Saya - "Sorry, not sorry. But you're not starting without me here." I just crossed my arms and casually leaned against the wall by the door. He couldn't do anything to me anyways.
Mr. Mackey - "Now, uh, Kyle, as your school counselor, uh I want to try and help you confront your problems, 'kay?"
Kyle - "I don't have a problem."
Saya - "It's true. Sort of hehe." He didn't get offended since he knew I was picking at him. A bit hehe.
Mr. Mackey - "Well it-it's my understanding that you umhm, yu-you have an acute case of fecophilia."
Kyle - "What's that?" I sighed at his cluelessness.
Mr. Mackey - "Well-uh, a fecophiliac is somebody who's obsessed with mookie-stinks, Kyle." I raised an eyebrow at that.
Kyle/Saya - "Mookie-stinks?"
Mr. Mackey - "Now I also understand that you're Jewish. Is that right, Kyle?" I Growled at that. I smirked smugly when I saw him sweat a bit. Good.
Kyle - "Wull, not on purpose."
Mr. Mackey - "So this must be a pretty hard time of year for you, being Christmas and all. Do the other kids make fun of ya?" I Growled lowly in Warning since I know where he's going with this.
Kyle - "Well, sometimes..."
Mr. Mackey - "And that must make you mad." I Growled lowly in Warning.
Kyle - "Well sure."
Mr. Mackey - "Mad enough to kill, Kyle???"
Saya - [Pissed.] "HEY! Back the fuck off you damn mateless bitch!"
Mr. Mackey looks at him up close. I shoved his big ass head away from him.
Kyle - "No, dude!"
Mr. Mackey - "Oh that's good. You see, Kyle, sometimes we feel like an outsider, we-we create friends, Okay-in our minds, Okay?" Not unlike me, Alex, and Papa. We ARE outsiders. Hell, me and Alex aren't even full human anymore. And Papa isn't even human at all.
Kyle - "But Mr. Hankey seemed so real..." 'I'm thinking the same thing kid.'
Mr. Mackey - "Well of course he does; in your screwed-up little head he's the only friend you have." I Growled deeper in warning.
Saya - "Watch it!"
Mr. Mackey sips from his coffee cup, Mr. hankey is now bathing in the cup. 'Oh dear Gods, no!'
Mr. Hankey - "Kyle!"
Kyle lowers his head. I gently squeezed his left shoulder in comfort.
Mr. Hankey - "Howdy-ho."
Kyle is shocked.
Mr. Mackey - "Right now you're nuttier than Chinese chicken salad, m'kay-I mean, you're one screwed-up little kid do you understand?" He jumped some when I started to growl loudly.
Kyle looks back up in horror at the counselor, who takes another sip of coffee. Kyle closes his eyes in dread anticipation. Mr. Hankey is still bathing in Mr. Mackey's coffee. I just signed and shook my hand in disappointment while facepalming and gently squeezing his shoulder Again.
Mr. Hankey - "Santa's loaded up his sleigh
flying around his merry way..."
Mr. Mackey - "To try and stay positive stay away from drug and alcohol, and in the meantime I'm gonna put you on a heavy regimen of Prozac..."
Mr. Mackey notices the poo in his cup and gasps.
Mr. Mackey - "Uuuuuuugghh-oh my God, you sick little monkey!"
Kyle's mouth is twisted with chagrin. I just grabbed his hand, and stormed out of there. Oh I was fucking PISSED. As I was storming by a very confused Craig, I saw that he was now wearing the planet necklace. Good.
SAYA'S POV:
I told Alex and Liviya about what happened, and they were Pissed off too. Even Kagami was too.
South Park Elementary, the school gym. Christmas lights are still hanging and lit.
Mr. Garrison - "Okay, children, we've just received word from the mayor that the Christmas play can't include any Christmas lights, since they offend people with epilepsy..."
Saya/Alex - "Which is true! But only the blinking ones!"
Students - "Hhmm."
Mr. Garrison - "...so Kenny, would you please go over and pull the lights cords out of the wall?" I felt my heart drop a bit, but I knew he was going to be okay. So I told him that. But I still kept a very close eye on him just in case.
A low faucet is dripping next to the outlet, creating a puddle that goes past it. The class looks at the sight, then Kenny goes over...
Mr. Garrison - "Careful now, Kenny, those are very, very dangerous." I shot him a quick warning glare.
Kenny tugs at the cords and they come out. He looks at the class, then walks back to his spot. I hugged him very close to me in pure relief that he's okay as I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. He hugged me back just as close. He too let out a breath of relief.
Mr. Garrison - "Okay. Now let's practice our..."
Mr. Mackey rushes in, followed by Kyle. I facepalmed and signed in disappointment. I can't believe he went back.
Mr. Mackey - "No! Get away from me!"
Kyle - "Here. Just look more closely at it."
Mr. Mackey - "No! Go away! Stan, you need to do something about your friend, m'kay. Get him out of here before he hurts anybody! M'kay?" Okay, NOW I'm really disappointed in him. And by the looks of it, so is Kagami and Alex too.
SAYA'S POV:
South Park Mental House. Thankfully Liviya is with Papa back at the school.
Saya - *sigh* "Poor Kyle."
Alex - "Really." I started to cough a bit Again. But thankfully only Alex heard it this time. I shot him a quick glare to shut him up before he could say anything, and mouth 'later'. He gave me a quick nod.
Stan - "Hullo, we need to commit our friend, Kyle please."
Nurse - "Reason?"
Kyle - "I'm a clinically depressed fecophiliac on Prozac."
Saya - "Even though he's NOT taking any kind of medicine. Not that he actually NEEDS it."
Alex - "Really."
Nurse - "Any allergies?"
Kyle - "No."
Saya - [Mumbling.] "Lucky bastard." Alex patted my right shoulder in sympathy, while Kenny looked at me in concern.
Nurse - "Jacket!"
Two burly men come out through the doors on either side of the nurse and wrap Kyle up, then take him inside, chattering all the while.
They almost took Kenny too if I hadn't pushed him behind me and deeply growled at them in warning. And I know my fangs showed a bit since they really paled. Thankfully only them and Alex saw. 'Shit! I slowly losing control of my glamours!'
Cartman - "Bye, Kyle! Happy Channukah!" Both me and Alex spun kicked him in the chest and out the door. 'GODS that felt so good to do.' Alex - 'Really.'
SAYA'S POV:
South Park Elementary, the school gym. Me and Alex were backstage setting everything up.
Saya - "Oh Gods I feel SO sorry for Stan and Kenny right now"
Alex - "Really." Both of us cringed.
Mr. Garrison - "Okay, children, does everyone have their leotards on?"
They do, and just look back. The camera now looks out to the audience.
Artsy Man - "Good, it looks like they have taken the Christmas trees down."
His Date - "Yes, and there's nothing Christian, either. This should be great!" Me, Alex, and Papa Thought the same thing, 'Fucking bitches!'
Sheila - "Oh, this could be such a wonderful Christmas play - I wish our little Kyle was here to see it."
Sheila is now sobbing. 'Shit. Poor Auntie sheila.' Alex - 'Really.'
THIRD PERSON'S POV:
South Park Mental House.
Kyle - "Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you out of clay.
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, with dreidel I will play.
Second verse, same as the first.
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidelll-I ma..."
SAYA'S POV:
South Park Elementary, the school gym. The MC is on stage.
MC - "Welcome to the South Park Elementary Holiday..."
Man 1 - [Pointing.] "Wait, wait, there's a star above the stage. That's very offensive to non-Christians."
Uncle Jimbo/Papa/Liviya - "Oh, come on!"
Saya/Alex - "Really!"
Man 1 - "Hey! Don't put your beliefs on me, buddy!
Randy Marsh - "I agree."
Saya/Alex - "Oh fuck you guys!"
Mr. Garrison peeks through the curtain.
Mr. Garrison
Oh brother.
He steps back.
Mr. Garrison - "Kenny, would you please climb that ladder and take down the star above the stage?" I Growled lowly in Warning at him since he's TRYING to kill my sweet mate!
Kenny looked at me in worry, but I just smiled at him in encouragement.
Saya - "Don't worry baby, you'll be fine. And besides, I'll be spotting you. Just in case. Okay?" He nodded slowly, still a bit scared. But he still went.
Kenny approaches the ladder and starts climbing. I grabbed the bottom of it to keep it steady.
Mr. Garrison - "And be careful not to fall in that little pool below you, Kenny, the shark for the third act is in there."
Saya - [Shocked growling tone.] "WHAT?!"
Kenny looks down at the pool.
Kenny - "(Hunh?)"
He looks back at Mr. Garrison. Then me in pure worry.
Saya - "Don't worry baby, I got you!" And I made sure he was too since I used a tiny bit of my phsychic powers to keep him safe.
MC - "Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to the South Park Elementary Holiday Experience. Before we bring out the kiddies for the play, here's a non-offensive, non-denominational holiday song by the school chef."
Saya - *Sigh* "Oh dear Gods, no."
Alex - *sigh* "Yeah, really."
Chef - "I'm gonna lay you down by the Yule log
I'm gonna love you right.
Baby, I'm gonna deck your halls.
And silence your nights."
Kenny reaches the star and makes sure he's safe.
Saya - "You got it! Don't worry, you're safe." He just shakily nodded.
Chef - "You'll hear the herald angels sing
When I'm sliding off your bra.
I just can't wait to jingle your bells.
and falala your love...
You can break my heart, and that means..." Oh Gods I almost puked.
Stan - "I wish Kyle was here. It just doesn't seem right without him."
Saya/Alex - "Well it's your own damn fault! We told you NOT to put him there!"
Chef - "...We should make love,"
Cartman - "Well. Ol' Kyle's gonna be locked up for a while, so get used to it." He jumped a couple of feet when BOTH me and Alex growled deeply in warning.
Saya/Alex - "WATCH IT FAT-ASS!"
Chef - "...'Cause if we don't-"
Mr. Garrison - "Okay, kids, get ready to take your places."
The crowd cheers.
MC - "Thank you, Chef!"
Kenny finally descends with the star. 'Yes!'
Kenny - "(Phew!)"
Saya - "Really!" I hugged him close. "You were SO brave up there! I'm SO proud of you baby!" He was blushing so hard right now I just had to giggle a softly. After giving him one more hug, I gently pushed him towards the others. I then went over to Alex. He handed me a tissue. Shit. My glamours much have slipped some. Again.
Alex - "Here."
Saya - "Thanks."
Alex - "Sure thing. You sure you're okay?" I nodded as I put the tissue to my slightly bleeding nose.
Saya - "Yeah. I am. You know how using my phsychic powers can cause this some times."
Alex - *Sigh* "I know, but still."
Saya - "I know."
MC - "And now, South Park Elementary presents the happy, non-offensive, non-denominational Christmas Play, with music and lyrics by New York minimalist composer, Philip Glass!"
Philip Glass moves into position and start playing his keyboards. The curtains draw back, and the kids look out at the audience. They begin to move around. Me and Alex are cringing so hard right now.
Voice-over - "As I turn and look into the sun, the rays burn my eyes."
A track saying "Happy Happy Happy, Everybody Happy" is added, along with an arpeggio. Members of the audience look confused. Me and Alex are still cringing so hard right now. It's THAT bad.
Voice-over - "How like a turtle the sun looks."
Sheila - "What the hell is this???"
Papa - "You took the words right out of my mouth ma'am." Liviya nodded. She was sitting in his lap. Good. She won't get hurt from what's to come.
The kids just keep moving and turning.
Sheila - "This is horrible!!!"
Papa/Liviya - "Really."
Father Maxi - "This is the most God-awful piece of crap I've ever seen!!"
Papa - "I've unfortunately seen worse. Being a doctor and all." It's true. We've unfortunately have. But me and Alex especially no thanks to The FUCKING Lab.
Mr. Garrison - "You're the ones who made it this way!"
Saya/Alex - "Oh shit!" I quickly pushed Kenny behind me, while papa quickly got up and onto the stage with Liviya still in his arms. Good. They're safe now.
Father Maxi - "Yeah, it's because the Jews said it couldn't be Christian."
Gerald - "It wasn't our idea to take out Santa Claus!"
Elderly Tree Hugger - "All you bastards ruined Christmas!"
Saya/Alex - "And so it begins."
Papa/Liviya - "Really."
The crowd descends into brawling. A person in blue is thrown towards the stage. The Broflovskis trap Father Maxi. Thankfully I was able to put a shield around the guy in blue in time so he wasn't hurt.
Gerald - "Get him in the ribs!"
Sheila punches Father Maxi.
Saya - [A bit surprised.] "Shit. Nice punch, Though still a bit weak."
Alex/Papa - [A bit surprised.] "Really."
Father Maxi - "Oof."
Picking up the elderly tree-hugger.
Man in audience - "Damn tree-hugger!"
Tosses him away.
Saya - "Shit!" I instantly threw my right hand out and put a very strong protective spell on him. It took a lot out of me. But I still stayed standing, with a little help from Kenny. After taking a deep breath, I erased what I just did from everyone but Alex, Kenny, Papa, and of course Liviya. She was in awe and shock. I just gave her a smirk and wink. Her eyes got even bigger, if possible. Hehe.
Stan - "This sucks, dude. This is like the worst Christmas I have ever seen."
Saya/Alex - "We've seen WAY worse unfortunately." Kenny hugged me from behind. I just hugged his arms back.
Wendy - "Yeah."
Liviya - "R-really.." Damn.
Chef is now on stage behind the children.
Chef - "Say, where's Kyle?"
Stan - "We committed him."
Saya/Alex - "But WE tried to stop them."
Chef - "What? Why?"
Cartman - "'Cause. He kept seeing this little brown piece of Christmas poo everywhere that he went."
Saya/Alex - "Yeah."
Chef - "Chirstmas poo? You yuh-you mean Mr. Hankey." Both me and Alex groaned loudly.
Saya - "Oh for FUCK sake!"
Alex - "Really!"
Stan - "Huh?! O-oh."
The crowd continues to brawl. Sheila uses a chair on her husband, who quickly falls to the floor. She watches him fall. I cringed and hissed in sympathy for knowing how THAT feels.
Saya - "Ohh, ouch!"
Alex/Papa - "Really." Liviya and Kenny just nodded.
A Mr. Hankey Commercial Plays.
Back at the gym. The man in blue is thrown from his post for the third time - an obvious blooper, as the Broflovskis have Father Maxi trapped again. Me and Alex blinked in both shock and confusion.
Saya - "The fuck!?"
Alex - "Really!"
Stan - "This is horrible! Everybody's fighting and my best friend is in an institution, all because we didn't believe in Mr. Hankey!"
Chef - "Well! You can believe in him now."
Saya/Alex - "No need for us."
A woman backs up across the stage as a man flies towards her. The crowd is more violent now.
Woman - "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH." Me, Alex, and Papa just signed in disappointment.
Stan - "I believe."
A piano begins to play softly. 'The fuck?' Alex/Papa - 'Really.'
Wendy - "I believe in Mr. Hankey."
A shoebox at one side of the stage starts to jump, and the lid pops off. Mr. Hankey jumps up and floats in the air, surrounded by pixie dust. Me, Papa, and Alex blinked in shock, while Liviya just blink in awe. Only because of the sparkles.
Saya/Alex - [Shocked.] "The FUCK!?"
Papa/Liviya - [Shocked/Awed] "Really!/Really!"
Mr. Hankey - "Hoooowwwwwdy-ho!!!"
Everyone on stage gasps.
Mr. Hankey - "Howdy, folks. Gosh you sure do smell all nice and flowery." Me, Alex and Liviya gagged a bit.
Saya/Alex - [Disgusted.] "Uck, DISGUSTING!"
Papa/Liviya - [Disgusted.] "Really!"
Cartman, Stan - "Whoa!!" I sighed. Topical.
Mr. Hankey - "Howdy-ho, Chef!"
Chef - "Howdy-ho, Mr. Hankey!"
Cartman - "Okay, that does it! Screw this, I'm goin home!"
Saya/Alex - "Same!"
Moves toward stage left.
Cartman - "Talking poo is where I draw the line!"
Saya/Alex - "With you on THAT one dude!"
Mr. Hankey - "What's all the ruckus?"
Chef - "I'm glad you're here, Mr. Hankey. The whole town is about to kill each other."
Mr. Hankey - "I reckon this could be a job for Mr. Hankey!"
He sees the crowd fighting and whistles. They stop and turn to see him.
Mr. Hankey - "STOP FIGHTING!!"
The Mayor - "Oh my God, what the hell is that thing?"
Saya/Alex - "Really!" I started to cough Again, and losing strength on my left leg from the severe nerve damage. Luckily Kenny was able to catch me before I fell. I was even breathing hard again. Shit. I'm dying faster now. I have at most, a few hours tops. Kevin and Alex were at my side in an instant. They were really worried. But they both know they can't do anything about it, for it's too late now.
Mr. Hankey - "Come on, gang, don't fight. You people focus so hard on the things wrong with Christmas that you've forgotten what's so right about it. Don't you see? This is the one time of year we're s'posed to forget all the bad stuff, to stop worrying and being sad about the state of the world, and for just one day say, "Aw, the heck with it! Let's sing and dance and bake cookies"."
Saya/Alex - "Not with you, you fucking piece of shit!" I groaned a bit in pain.
Father Maxi finally gets up from the floor as a single person begins to clap, and the crowd turns to see that the person clapping is Gerald. Then others start clapping and the town begins to cheer. Mr. Hankey is overjoyed at the response.
Saya - "Oh my fucking GODS!"
Alex - "Really."
Stan - "Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here."
Saya - " Now that's THE most understatement of the fucking UNIVERSE!"
Alex/Papa/Liviya/Kenny - "Really!"/"(Really!)"
ALEX'S POV:
South Park Mental House. Kyle sits on the floor of a padded room.
Kyle - "I'm a Jew.
A lonely Jew..."
Mr. Hankey - "Howdy-ho, Kyle!!!"
Thinking it's a hallucination.
Kyle - "Oh no, I'm not sane yet!"
Mr. Hankey - "I brought some friends with me."
Kyle - "Friends?"
Kyle gets up and looks lout a small window. He sees all the townsfolk and smiles, relieved.
Townsfolk - "Merry Christmas, Kyle Broflovski!!!"
Kyle - "You mean you can see him? Ah-I'm not crazy?"
The nurse releases him and he rushes out the door. Mr. Hankey follows.
Townsfolk - "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo..." Only me, Saya, Kevin, and Liviya are the only ones NOT singing.
Mr. Hankey kisses Kyle. Me and Saya gag, while Kevin looks disgusted, and poor little Liviya starts to turn a bit green Again.
Saya - "uck, disgusting."
Alex - "Really." Kevin and Liviya just nodded in agreement.
Townsfolk - "...he loves me and I love you
Therefore, vicariously he loves you..."
Mr. Hankey begins tossing presents to everyone. Me, Saya, Kevin, and Liviya just let them fall. We didn't even touch them. Saya will most likely just give them to Kenny and his family. Which is extremely fine by us.
Townsfolk - "...Even if you're a Jew"
Mr. Pirrip - "Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny, he can be brown or greenish-brown.
But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve,
he might come to your town." Okay, that time we REALLY almost threw up. But unfortunately, little Liviya actually did. Damn. Poor kid. Right?
Townsfolk - "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
He loves me. I love you
Heeeeeeee Looooooves Yoooooouu!"
Mr. Hankey, during the second chorus.
Mr. Hankey - "Well, I've got a loong night ahead of me. Bye-bye and Merry Christmas."
He floats up to meet Santa as he passes by.
Cartman - "Good-bye Mr. Hankey! Bring me lots of presents! I always believed in you!"
Saya/Alex - "No fuck you didn't!"
Santa Claus - "Howdy-ho ho ho!"
Stan - "You know, I learned something today. I learned that Jewish people are okay. And that...Hanukkah can be cool, too."
Saya/Alex - [Angry.] "That's what we've been trying to fucking tell you this entire time!"
Kyle - "Yeah...[Concerned] You know, it seems like something's still not right." Me and Saya started to growl a bit as she quickly grabbed Kenny, and held him close and protectively.
The camera pans over to Kenny.
Cartman - "Yeah, something feels...unfinished."Now she was growling deeper and louder, both in Warning, AND in pain. Shit. She now has way less time now. She only has about ten minutes tops now.
Drum roll.
Stan - "Wh-what could it be?"
The drum roll heads for a climax.
THE END.
Kenny - "(Yee he hee!)"
Saya - "Yes! You did it Kenny! You made it through!" She hugged him tighter, and spun him around a couple of times. But then disaster hits. She groaned loudly in pain, and collapsed. Luckily he caught her in time from hitting the ground. Shit!
Alex/Kevin/Kenny/Liviya - "Saya!"/"(Saya!)"/"Sis!" We ran over to her, but I had to keep Liviya away so that Kevin can try to help her. Even though we both know it's far too late now. And no matter how many times she's died, it's still so very painful. I started to tear up, while Liviya and everyone else was full on crying.
Kenny - [Desperate whispering.] "(Please, you NEED to save her! I can't loose her! Please, not again!)" Kevin closed his eyes briefly in both pain and sorrow.
Kevin - *Devastated sigh* "I'm truly sorry Kenny, but it's far too late. She died from Blood poisoning. And NO ONE can ever survive that." He hung his head.
After a few seconds of pure shock, he started to tear up again. But what really broke our hearts, was THE most DEVASTATED heart shattering wail. EVER!
Kenny - "WAAH!" He held her close as he sobbed loudly in her chest. While I turned my head to the right and squeezed my eyes shut in pure sadness, and hugging Liviya close to try and comfort us both as she was Sobbing in my chest. Hopefully she won't remember this. For her sake. Right?
End credits roll.
THIRD PERSON'S POV:
South Park Public Access. A light is on.
Jesus is on the Jesus and Pals set alone.
Jesus - "Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me..."
Jesus blows out the candle on his cake and ends up in the dark. He blinks. Credits resume rolling.
End of Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.
KEYS:
¹ = Plantmancer is off of the South Park game, Fractured But Whole. I like it so I decided to use it for her elemental powers over the plants. Hm. Similar to Kurama's powers from Yu Yu Hakusho. Right?
² = He said cousins since Alex, and now Liviya are his step cousins basically. Right?
³ = If you want to know about The Phoenix House, reread episode 1, part 1 to know.
⁴ = Stupid Wop Dago is A person of mediterranean heritage usually seen sporting tracksuit pants and a greasy mullet. Also enjoys working on a variety of highly inefficient vehicles not limited to muscle cars but also japanese brands commonly associated with ricers, although these will have that unique stupid wop dago touch added to them.
10590 words minus this.