Deku PoV
I lie in my hospital bed. The doctor gave me something to calm me down. He also told me that we won't allow people to visit me as long as my condition is like this. Well who would want to visit me anyways? Well Kacchan and Todoroki-kun did. Did he really tell the truth?
I don't think so. They probably only said that because they feel guilty or rather because they're in trouble now for letting this happen.
"Oh yeah you're right. I didn't think about it, but they were in charge of me, so they're in trouble." I chuckle sadly. "Even when I die I'm just a bother to anyone. I can't do anything right." I cry. I cry untill I fell asleep again.
It's been a week now since I tried to kill myself. Today the doctors want to discharge me and Aizawa-Sensei came to pick me up. My mom was here too and she was really worried. She talked a lot with Aizawa-Sensei and they agreed to put me back in UA because my condition is still unstable. My mom can't be around 24/7, she still has to work, so they take me back to UA to look after me so that won't happen again.
I leave the hospital with Aizawa-Sensei and we go to his car. I didn't talk to him, well I barely did the last days only if necessary, but he accept it and it's a silent drive back to UA. After 10 minuites of driving we arrive and Aizawa-Sensei escorts me to the dorms. Once we enter the people, that were sitting in the common area, notice me and aproach me. They ask me some things like "How are you?" "What happened?" and some things like that. I don't answear any of them, I just look at the floor and let my head hang down. I don't want to talk to anyone.
"Hey Extras can't you see he doesn't want to answear your questions?! He just arrived!! Give him some space Idiots!!" Kacchan says at the bottom of the stairs. After he said that the crowd around me lifts and I'm just standing there in the entrance hallway.
I don't know how long I stand there but suddenly Kacchan takes my hand, carefully so he won't hurt me because of the cuts, and drags me up the stairs and to my room. It is a quiet walk, neither of us is talking. I just let Kacchan drag me through the dorm. When we arrive at my room Kacchan opens the door and leads me inside.
Someone must have cleaned my room. There is no blood to be seen and everything was put back in the cabinets. I made a mess while searching for somehing I could use. Everything is clean now. I sit down on my bed, still just watching the floor. I don't want to look at anyone.
"Hey Deku.....How are you?" Kacchan finally breaks the silence.
"I-I'm fine."
"Don't lie to me! You're obviously not." He sighs. "Listen I understand you don't want to talk about it, but you can't just keep everything inside you. You need to talk to someone. If you don't want to talk with me I can get Icyhot and you talk with him or a teacher if you want. But pleae share your feelings and thoughts with someone."
Yeah share your feelings and thoughts with your bullie. Very good idea.
"Why? Why do you try beeing nice to me Kacchan? I know you hate me. I accepted it a long time ago, so why do you act nice all of a sudden? Is it because you feel guilty? Because your afraid I could do it again!? I don't need your pity. Stop acting like this I don't believe you. I also don't believe your strange confession! Stop lying at me! I know you don't love me and Todoroki-kun neither! You can't love me!! I'm not worthy beeing loved." The last part I only get out as a whisper. I don't know if he even heard it, but I mean it. Who could ever love someone like me? I'm weak and pathetic on top of that I'm crazy and talk to a voice inside my head. These aren't characteristics someone could love. They would be better withou-...
Kacchan breaks my rambling of thoughts by taking me into an embrace. My eyes widen. Why? Why is he doing this?
"Stupid Nerd. Don't say something like that!! I don't hate you, I never did. Back then I wasn't sure about my feelings and I wanted them to go, so I tried to push you away. I'm sorry for everything. Don't say some bullsh*t like 'I'm not worthy beeing loved', because if you're not worthy beeing loved, no one is. You are allowed to be loved and you are. Your mom loves you, your friends love you and Todoroki and I fell for the same boy. We both are in love with you. Please don't push yourself down." His voice is shaky and breaks at some points. I-Is he crying?
"He's right Midoriya. I wanted to tell you in another way, but he's right. We both love you and not like a friend or brother. We love you romantically. Please talk to us and never do something like that ever again. It would tear us appart if you were gone." Todoroki appeart at the doorframes. I can see tears threatening to fall down his face.
I don't know what to say. I just sit there silently and let Kacchan hug me. It is silent for a while. No one wants to say anything or rather dares to say anything.
"I know you'll hate it, but from now on you won't be alone anymore. We don't want you to do something like that again. We won't leave your side untill we don't have to fear for this situation to ever happen again." Kacchan finally breaks the silence and also the hug. He stands infront of me now.
"Y-You can't do that." I say.
"Why not Midoriya?"
"B-Because I don't want to b-bother you. Y-You have your own lifes. Don't burden yourself with me."
"Damn Deku how often do we have to tell you!? You're not a bother and neither a burden. We care for you that's all. We do this on our own free will, so stop trying to talk us out of it. Just accept it. You don't need to say anything back, you've got enough problems now then to return our feelings damn you have more important things in your head. Just accept our feelings and think about your own when you're ready. For now please let us stay with you." I'm shocked by his words. I never expected to hear something like that from Kacchan. I mean everyone, but Kacchan?!
"F-Fine if you insist. But our dorms are little where do you want to sleep?"
"I don't care, I just sleep on the floor if I have to. I just won't let you alone anymore. I don't care about the rest." Bakugou says.
"Maybe we should make a schedule. It's really to tiny for both of us to stay." Todoroki-kun says.
"So what is your plan?"
"I suggest you stay with him tonight and tomorrow I will stay with him. I would say we go on like this and change daily. At school or at day we could stay together, all 3 of us or just how it turns out. We'll see, but at night only one stays and we change every day. Sounds good?"
"Yeah ok whatever icyhot. Sounds good. Stay here a moment Icyhot I wanna get my PJ's and uniform for tomorrow and I won't let him stay alone for a second."
"Sure get your stuff, I stay." Kacchan leaves the room and leaves Todoroki-kun and me alone. Todoroki-kun walks to me and sits next to me on the bed.
"How are you Midoriya?"
"I-I'm fine, just a bit confused. I don't know how to think about everything. Espacially your confession, both of your confessions. To be honest I always thought I would never end up with someone loving me. I mean why should I? There's nothing loveable about me, but now you two confessed to me and I'm just confused. I never wanted to fall in love myself in fear of beeing rejected. So for now I can't return your feelings, neither of you."
He puts his arm on my shoulders and pulls me towards him, into a hug. "Don't ever think something like that. There are a lot of things that make you loveable. You're kind, caring, nice to everyone, your smile is brighter then the sun and your cute as hell. Don't put yourself down."
I blush a bit. "T-Thank you Todoroki-kun, but don't you hate me? All of you?"
"Why would you think that?"
"After the police said I was the traitor and ran away, I came back to UA. I wanted to talk to you after Aizawa-Sensei left, but then I eavesdropped your conversation. You all believed that I was the traitor, no one stood up for me." I start to cry again.
"Ah I remember that day. I think you left to early. Yes there were some who spoke bullsh*t, but Bakugou stood up and yelled at them. He defend you. I wanted to do the same, he was just faster. To be honest I noticed you and tried to follow you, but you were faster and dissapeared. Bakugou and I never believed it. You're our friend. You're the last person I would believe to be the traitor. I'm not sure about Uraraka and Iida, but they never said anything like that. I don't know it the believed in you or the picture, but they never said anything negative about you. You still have friends and I think the others start to regain their trust in you after everything.
I'm angry with them so I won't let anyone talk to you, but maybe we should start to let you decide, since you got your memories back."
"Thank you, but I'm not sure about that. I'm not even sure if I wanna see the two of you. I'm so confused about anything. I have to think, a lot!"
"Don't worry, take your time. We're here for you. Always." I nood thankfully for such good friends.
"I'm back! Now leave Icyhot he needs to sleep." Kacchan is back inside my room. He took some time. Did he eavesdrop our conversation?
"Ok I'm going. Good night Midoriya.......Bakugou." He leaves my room and closes the door behind him.
"I mean it Deku. You need to sleep, so lay down. I'll sleep on the floor." I see a blanket and a pillow in his hand. He already changed his clothes already and has a bag with him. Probably his school bag with his uniform in it. He starts to put the pillow and the blanket next to my bed on the floor.
"NO! Um I mean.....Y-You don't have to sleep on the floor. Y-You can sleep n-next to m-me i-in my b-bed." I blush a bit.
"W-What?" I can see Kacchan is turning red too.
"P-Please come to me in the b-bed. I feel guilty if you sleep on the floor. You might catch a cold s-so come l-lie down n-next to me. P-Please."
"F-Fine if you insist." I nod and move to the wall inside the bed to give him some space. He hesitantly joins me in bed and lies next to me. We both blushing crazy.
"W-Well good night Nerd." He says and turns his back at me.
"G-Good night K-Kacchan." I watch his back for quiet a while.
So Kacchan is in love with me? I know I was too when we were kids, but I decided to get rid of these feelings when we started to attend middle school. I never felt that way to him anymore, but what now? Do I still love him? And what about Todoroki-kun? He said he loves me too. I never imagined anyone to confess and now there are two people. I don't know how to feel. For a while now I forgot how happy feelings work. I smile a lot, but it's not a real smile I just fake it, so nobody worries. Now they now it, at least a little of it. What should I do?
Wait for it. At some point they'll leave you. They just pretend it. They only pity you and don't want to get into trouble. I give them max. a month until they're sick of you and leave you alone once more.
I don't know anymore if I should listen to him. I don't know who tells the truth. The drugs went out and I got my memories back, but I wonder why he's still there. Maybe he didn't appear because of the drugs. Maybe he was always there and just got stronger or rather manifested because of the drugs. I noticed some time ago, even though I'm talking to him, he's just telling my doubts and bad thoughts. He just makes them aware to me. So everything he tells me are just my own negative thoughts.
After a long time of thinking I finally fell asleep. It was a dreamless sleep, but I'm sure it's just what I need right now.