Shards (A Percy Jackson and Avengers Crossover)

Plan ARMPITS is a Go!

"I think it's time."

"I don't like this," Tony stated stubbornly. "I'm totally against this plan."

Natasha sighed. "Your opinion has been noted, Tony. Multiple times."

Tony huffed and crossed his arms. "Just for the record."

"The record that no one's keeping?" Thalia snorted. "And it's not like you'll get to gloat if you're right since we'll all be, y'know, dead."

"Dude, I miss our war meetings in the Rec Room," Conner muttered to Travis.

"I know," Travis bemoaned dramatically. "I want some nacho cheese."

Bruce leaned over, a little weary of the two—with good reason. "What do nachos have to do with war meetings?"

The two brothers stared at Bruce like the man had grown two heads. "Nachos are a necessity for counselor meetings!"

"...they are?"

Conner huffed. "Yeah, the proper way to discuss war is at a ping-pong table while having a nacho cheese battle."

"And seeing how many pencils you can stuff up Clovis's nose," Travis added helpful.

They simultaneously turned to the sleeping demigod and exchanged looks of mischief.

"No," Percy interjected, listening in on the conversation.

Conner pouted, spinning on the wheeled chair that he'd called dibs on. "Fine. But this room is sooooooo boring!"

He pointed at the parts of the space respectively. "Gray wall, gray wall, gray wall, gray wall, gray door, gray floor, gray chairs, and—oh, guess what! —a dark gray table. They really know how to mix it up here at the... Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division?" Connor finished uncertainty, squinting at the black insignia etched on the wall. He frowned. "Man, that's a real mouthful."

Clint spoke up. "Wait, you had war meetings at a ping-pong table?"

Travis nodded. "Don't forget the nacho cheese machine."

"Okay, let's stay on track," Steve interrupted, raising a hand tiredly to steer the motley crew back on topic. Thalia and Tony had been butting heads all day. The Stolls hadn't exactly been angels either. "Everyone has their coms?"

They had decided to use the coms to keep in touch with the mortals and each other on the battlefield because there were so many different groups present. The demigods weren't all that worried about the technology attracting monsters, considering that soon all the monsters in the country would be heading to their location.

At the chorus of affirmatives, Steve nodded. "Good. Let's do a quick com test."

Steve quickly learned why giving Hermes kids technology was a bad idea.

"Merlin's beard!"

"Heavens to Betsy!"

"Son of a—" Tony swore up and down, yanking the com out of his ear. "You're not supposed to yell in it!"

Travis and Conner paused in the Christmas song they had been singing into the tiny mic. "We're not?" they asked at the same time, expressions of pure confusion on their face.

Percy sighed. "Don't let their innocent looks fool you. They knew exactly what they were doing."

Percy gave them a scolding look. The brothers had enough sense to look ashamed. Percy was glad he didn't have a com, or he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to hear out of his left ear right now. They had decided that he and Loki didn't need coms—they'd just be a distraction.