Rager!

Chapter 14

Dean's POV
It's been a few days, Jonathan's been deep in his mind, for 8 days, he's been staring off into space.
I said" It's been 8 days, Sam! When's he coming back to me?"
Sam said" I don't know, Dean, when he's ready, when he can. I mean, you said he was basically being treated like he was with Lucifer... and that's-"
" Messed up, I know." Jonathan groaned, I looked at him, his eyes squeezed shut, then opened, they were normal.
He mumbled" What..." He coughed, looking around," Dean!" He jumped into my lap, his face nuzzling my neck., I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him tightly.
" Baby, hey, hey, you back? Huh, is that you?" I pulled from him, holding his face in my hands, he was crying, sniffling." What happened?"
" I remember..."
" What? What do you-"
" I remember everything." He gasped, his eyes turning black," Everything is back, oh god, I fucked up, I really fucked up." He started pacing in front of me," I mean... I really, really fucked up, Dean, I've-I've done things... I cannot take back, and I'll live with them for the rest of my life... which won't be long, but-"
" Jonathan!" He froze, turning to me quickly," Hey, breathe." He sighed then closed his eyes, they went back to normal as he opened them.
" Lucifer! I wanna gut him! You've got an arch-" I grabbed him as he went for the armory, I held him tightly, he growled and struggled." Let go of me! Let go of me!"
" Hey! You listen to me, Jonathan! You've been out for eight days! Eight! Okay?! I've been worried sick and the first damn thing you wanna do is gut Lucifer!"
" He made me kill my family!" I froze, Jonathan stared at his hands, he whimpered, mumbling," He made me strangle them to death with my bare hands... and drink their warm blood!" He turned to me," I-I-I can't... it feels like my body's on fire!" He screamed, dropping to his knees,
" Jonathan!" He screamed again, pulling off his shirt, he scratched at his skin. I grabbed his arms and kept him from scratching himself, he screamed and closed his eyes." Hey, hey, hey! Focus on me, baby. Focus on me. Focus on me, baby." He opened his eyes and stared at me, after a few minutes, he calmed down. He slumped into my arms quickly, I stood up, lifting him up with me. His knees buckled and I simply lifted him up, his legs wrapped around my waist instinctively." Wanna go to bed, Jonathan?" He whimpered, his face nodding against my shoulder," Okay, let's go to bed."

I put him down on my bed, then kicked off my shoes, laying down with him. He nuzzled against my side, then tugged at my shirt, silently asking for it off, I sat up and took off my shirt, laying down again. He traced on my skin, I think he's testing if he's really here or not. I kept my arms wrapped snuggly around him, his head was on my chest over my heart.
I whispered" I'm here, baby, this is real, I swear it."
He mumbled" I slaughtered so many, I have so much blood on my hands."
" Jonathan, you were corrupted, okay? You were sacrificed by your own family, Lucifer turned you into a demon, then he turned you into his own personal plaything. If any of that happened to me, I'd do worse than slaughter people. Don't put all the blame on yourself, okay?"
" But I killed them..."
" No, okay? No! You're not going to put yourself in a hole, okay? Not happening on my watch."
" I-I..." I kissed him, he kissed back after a second, I held his face, deepening the kiss. I pulled away after a few seconds, he was panting softly, staring at me.
" Stop it, baby, don't do this to yourself, I know how it goes. You're gonna die all over again if you let yourself fall into that hole."
——
Jonathan's POV
" No! Please, brother... don't do this! Brother!" I tightened my grip around her neck,
Lucifer said" That's it, my little flower. Push down more." I pushed my hands down more, obeying Master, her neck snapped like a twig. She choked and I saw the life leave her eyes, I dropped her body," Now's time for a drink." He slit her throat, and put a bowl under the stream of blood. He put the bowl to my lips," Open." I parted my lips and the blood came into my mouth, I flinched," Swallow, Bazzoth." I swallowed the sickly warm blood, must obey Master." Now... let's go find your other siblings, then once they're all dead... your dear mother and father, the ones who sacrificed you." I smirked,
I said" Yes, Master."

I woke up, panting heavily, sweat soaked my body, I looked around for Dean, but he wasn't here. I shakily stood up, walking to the door, where am I? Oh, in my room. Where's Dean? He was here when I laid down. I whimpered as I opened the door, I held onto the wall as my knees tried to buckle underneath me.

I made it to the library, I saw Sam and Dean,
I whimpered" Dean..." They both looked at me, then Dean rushed to me, scooping me into his arms as I started to collapse.
He said" Shh, baby, hey, what happened?" He walked back into to the library and sat down, with me on his lap. I nuzzled against his body, trying to calm myself down, Dean started rubbing my sides. After a few minutes, I could actually speak again, I sighed.
I mumbled" I had a nightmare. I-I... I choked my own sister to death, she was begging for her life-life and-and I killed her. Lucifer made... made me drink her blood, I had to please him, I had to-I had to..." I broke down, sobbing, I clutched Dean's shirt in my hand." Had-Had to-to... Had to... had to please him... Had to-Had to please Master." I sobbed more, starting to hiccup, the lights started flickering, that just caused me more fear.
Sam said" Dean!"
Dean whispered" Hey, hey, hey, shh, baby, shh, you're okay now, I'm here, I'm right here, you see me? I'm not letting anything happen, okay? I've got you. I love you." I froze, the lights stopped flickering," I love you, Jonathan, no matter what. I've got your back." I relaxed against him, nuzzling my face against the crook of his neck. My body and mind completely exhausted.
I mumbled" I love you... too." My eyes closed and I passed out.