DJ Snowflake and Scrooge | Brittana

December 9

"-it's the moment your consumer saturated desires have been waiting for. For this morning's Sue's Serious Doubts, I seriously doubt you can wait even a minute longer for the release of Rachel Berry's The Berry Best Christmas Album: The Definitive Christmas Edition."

The gas station erupted with screams of excitement. Santana pulled back from the nearest person to protect her coffee from the man's flailing arms. This crowd was for a Rachel Berry re-release? Santana thought maybe it could have been for a meet and greet with Beyonce or - she glanced around and re-evaluated her socio-geographical location- maybe Mitt Romney.

But for a 'Definitive Edition' Rachel Berry album release? What?

"WMHS 97.3 and-" Sue's voice paused over the microphone. Santana didn't have to see the woman to know she was frowning. With reluctance, Sue mentioned the other sponsor for the morning's events. "Roz Washington, owner of Roz's Golden Pump, are ecstatic to be here this morning. Now!" She barked. "Everyone who has their pre-order receipts get into the line over near the chips and snacks aisle. Everyone else you can go to the dairy and cold aisle to pick up your copy while supplies last."

The crowd violently shifted from the front of the store to the back. Men and women waved their pre-order papers and flocked to the back of the store. The loud voices almost made it impossible to hear the feed from the radio station, but Santana could have sworn she heard Sue mutter 'animals' before she continued to broadcast her show through the radio.

"Really, the way Sue's sees it, is if Rachel Berry is still the greatest thing to have ever come out of Midtown then it is a failure on the part of the local government and, like all things, the liberal agenda destroying the education system."

Santana finally forced her way through the store and slapped her cup of coffee on the counter. "How much do I owe you?"

"Umm-" A voice pondered. "-like do you want me to give you a price or do you want the actual price?"

Santana stopped searching for her wallet and looked up to see bright red nails on the counter. She quickly glanced up. "Sugar?"

"Oh! My! God!" The gas station attendant exclaimed. "Map Lady! You're real!"

Santana hadn't felt particularly thrilled to see Sugar, but she was one of the few people Santana had met in town. But 'map lady' really? "Of course I'm real. We talked last week."

"I know, but then I never saw you again and I was thinking about how mysterious and grouchy you were and that maybe you weren't a serial killer, but more like a ninja since you just – POOF! Disappeared!" Sugar talked almost as fast as her hands moved. Her red nails flashed in the air at a dazzling speed. "And then I thought about all the people who probably deserved to be assassinated around here-" Her eyes darted toward to the radio stand where Sue and who could only be the Roz Washington of Roz's Golden Pump were arguing. "-and it just made sense that you were too busy to come visit again."

"I'm not a ninja or an assassin either."

"But you are pretty grouchy." Sugar stated as fact.

"I-" Santana remembered the conversation with DJ Snowflake the previous night and rolled her eyes. "Whatever. How much do I owe you for the coffee so I can get the hell out of this madness?"

"That's going to be $2.39."

"$2.39? I've paid less for the best coffee in New York!" Santana dug out an extra dollar from her purse and slapped it on the counter.

"Oh! My! God!"

"I know – I know – I'm the map lady." Santana tried to grab her coffee and leave before Sugar could say anything else. Sugar snatched the coffee cup away from Santana before she could grab it. "Hey!" Santana practically snarled. "Give me my coffee! I just paid for that!"