Lucky

91

"We don't deserve you, dude." Sam said as I chuckled and got to work. "It's the least I can do since you guys have given me a place to stay." I said and measured everything out. "You're acting like you don't pay rent." Corey said with a laugh as I shrugged. "I feel like I should be giving you guys more." I said simply and turned to get a glass of water. "We love having you here, Vi. You don't need to pay more." Sam said with a laugh as I shrugged and drank my water.

As I cooked I couldn't stop thinking about the dream I had. I knew why I had it, but it still scared me nonetheless.

"What's going on in here?" Colby asked sleepily as he came into the room. "I'm making pasta." I said as I looked down at the floury dough in front of me. "How do you get hotter every day?" He asked and kissed my cheek as I shrugged. "You haven't even eaten the pasta yet. It could taste like shit." I said as Sam stirred the homemade sauce for me.

"Well, if it's anything like the food you usually make then I'm sure it will be delicious." He said and sat down across from me.

The guys hung out with me for a little while before they had to go do some work. I took my time making sure that I was cooking from my heart like my dad always taught me.

As I boiled the pasta I felt my eyes sting with tears as the feeling of emptiness filled my chest. I thought about how it felt to be wrapped up in my parents arms again.

I missed them so fucking much.

As soon as I was done boiling the pasta I drained it then went to go find the guys. I wiped my cheeks as I walked up the stairs and towards Colby's room. "Dinner is ready, guys." I said quietly as I poked my head into the room. "Okay, we'll be down in a minute." Colby said as I nodded and turned to get Jake and Corey.

When I got to Jake's room, he and Tara were on the bed. "Hey, there's dinner in the kitchen if you guys want. It's vegetarian." I said with a smile as Tara's face lit up. "Thanks, V!" She said as they got up.

I went and grabbed Corey then went to the kitchen and prepared a couple bowls of pasta. "This looks really good, Vi." Corey said as I handed him a bowl. "Thanks." I said with a smile as Jake and Tara came into the room.

"Are you not gonna eat?" Tara asked as I sat down at the table. "I'm not very hungry." I said with a shrug then took a sip of my water as Sam and Colby came into the room.

"Violet, you need to teach me how to cook this is insane." Sam said as they sat down with their bowls. "Sounds like a plan." I said and pulled my legs up so I could hug my knees.

We all hung out for a while before I decided to start cleaning the kitchen. "Want some help?" Colby asked as I started to wash the dishes. "If you want to, I know you have work to do with Sam." I said and took the bowl in his hand. "It can wait. I wanna help you." He said then grabbed a towel and started to dry the dishes.

"You doing okay?" He asked as I shrugged. "Yeah, are you?" I asked as he looked at me suspiciously. "Yeah." He said as I smiled slightly at him. "Good." I said and kissed him before turning back to the sink.

Once the kitchen was cleaned up the guys went back upstairs to finish what they were doing. I went to my bedroom and grabbed a book so I could try to relax a little bit. 

I knew I shouldn't have bottled up how I was feeling but that's what I did the last time I dealt with losing my parents.

I shut down.

I knew this pain wasn't as intense as when I lost them the first time but it was definitely still hard to process.

I tried desperately to focus on reading and relaxing but my eyes stung with tears as my mind drifted off to the dream again.

I hated crying more than anything. I hated feeling weak, especially over something I worked so hard on to heal from.

I hated that the wound was opened up again.

I tossed my book to the side as my face scrunched up and tears poured down my cheeks. I pulled my hood over my head as I just let myself cry.

After a couple minutes of this I heard a light knock on my door. "V?" Colby asked as he slowly opened the door. "Oh my god! Are you okay?" He asked and rushed over as I opened my arms, silently begging him to hold me.

"Shh, I'm here. It's okay." He cooed as I sniffled and hid my face in his chest. "Did something happen?" He asked and scratched my back gently as I shook my head. "Tell me what's going on, Violet." He said as I sniffled.

"Just hold me...please." I begged as he nodded and kissed my head. "I'm not going anywhere." He said and pulled me just a little closer.

I eventually calmed down and pulled away so I could look at him. "What happened, V?" He asked and wiped my cheeks. "I just..I miss them. I'm okay, really." I said as he frowned slightly. "You know you can talk to me, right?" He asked as I nodded.

"Yeah, I know. I guess I just don't know how to talk about it." I said as he nodded. "Well, I'm always gonna be here for you. No matter what. Understand?" He asked and brushed my hair from my face. "Yes." I said then grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him.

It felt good knowing I had someone that cared so much about me. I didn't know what I did to deserve it.

I wasn't going to take it for granted though.