Behold the Scalded

Chapter Eleven

Lilac followed, standing beside me close enough for our shoulders to touch. "If they come when you're feeling particular emotions, start there. What emotions make them appear?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Fear."

"That's a start." His delicate hand rested on my shoulder.

"But how do you prevent yourself from being scared?"

"Think about it." He urged, shuffling to face me.

The rising sunlight caught in his bright blue eyes, keeping me from turning away. "It never happens when being startled or spooked. But they appear from out of nowhere when I feel in danger or wallow in terror."

"See?" he whispered. "This is progress." His lip curled in the corner of his mouth and stole my attention. I fixated on his smile, allowing my stomach to twist in knots.

It suddenly occurred to me that what Lilac made me feel was a new emotion. I had never experienced the feelings of love from another person, and a great shame and embarrassment washed over me. I turned away sheepishly only for Lilac to brush my chin with his fingertips, returning my gaze back to his.

"I—I don't—" I fumbled with my words.

"You are safe." He nodded reassuringly. His fingertips were cold on my skin. "It will all work out. I promise we will figure this whole thing out together. Alright?"

I nodded. "There's just so many experiences I never had that I actually craved, unlike my memories of pizza. And it's kind of hitting me that I'm not like many other girls."

"And I'm not like many other guys." He scoffed. "That's what makes us—"

I gave him the side-eye. "Don't say special."

"No, I was going to say powerful." He lifted his arms, bringing attention to our surroundings. "Look where we are and what we can do?"

It was my turn to cock my head. "I don't get it." His behavior reminded me how out of place he was in the Scalded and brought those questions back to the forefront. Who was Lilac exactly? Where did he come from? Why was he here? And why did I feel so connected to him?

I shook the thoughts from my mind, not ready for the answers.

He lifted his chin and twirled, taking in the environment. "This place, the Scalded, has given us every necessity while keeping us alive. It has only harmed those who come to threaten that."

"No." I corrected. "I only harmed those who came to threaten us." I thought back to the incident that started this all and then my mind went to the poor woman who was only trying to warn us. "That woman was innocent. She didn't want to harm us. Neither did those in the vicinity before the incident."

Lilac sighed. All lightheartedness dissipated. "You can't keep blaming yourself, Kyla."

"What do you mean? It's my fault she's dead, isn't it? It was my belief, my fear, or lack of control over the Scorchers. This entire place is because of me." A wave of regret flooded me, and I placed my hands on my hips to prevent myself from collapsing in guilt. "None of this would have happened if it wasn't for me. And I can't even do the world a favor and die. Even if I were killed. That will only make things worse."