Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

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Kageyama's POV
I was first to wake up the next morning. It was a Saturday but we had practice all day today. But I was happy and ecstatic for a change. Opening my eyes, I looked down to see the orange fluffball curled up next to me with his head in my lap. With the smallest smiles, I gently ran my fingers through his hair, feeling him shift after a while as he started to wake up too. 
I moved my hands, watching as he slowly sat up and stretched, cracking a couple of bones in the process. "M'ning Bakayama." He mumbled with a yawn making me chuckle as well as blush at his adorableness. 
"Morning Boke." I replied softly, looking back at his shiny bronze eyes. 
I leaned forward to place a light kiss to his lips, a small smile on my face when I saw his cheeks flush. "Ready for practice today?" I asked, standing and stretching myself. 
"Mhm. I feel much better than I did yesterday." 
"Good. Let's wash up and eat and then we can get going. Don't want Ennoshita yelling at us." 
Hinata giggled at this as he stood and went to the bathroom first whilst I cleaned up the living room. But when I entered the kitchen I jumped seeing my mother at the table. "Gah! M-Mom? W-When did you get home?!" I half yelled in surprise, almost dropping last night's empty drink cups. 
"About two in the morning. I'm glad to see you and Hinata are talking again." She answered with a small giggle. I blushed hard, putting the cups in the sink. "Oh and by the way, you two look really cute together~" She suddenly said making me turn around to see a picture on her phone of me and Hinata asleep and snuggling last night. 
"Send me that. Please. I want it as my background-" I said with no shame making my mother chuckle as she sent me the picture. 

"Tobio! Your turn- Oh. Hello Shiruku!" The both of us heard Hinata say as he walked into the kitchen. 
"Hinata dear! Oh so good to see you again." My mother said as she stood and went to hug my tiny boyfriend. I'm so glad I can officially call him that again. I smiled and walked out the kitchen, leaving the two to catch up as I went to the bathroom with my spare clothes. As I was changing I caught sight of the cuts that littered my chest, and I couldn't help but stare solemnly at them in the mirror. I held a frown as I let a finger very gently trace over them, one by one. Each one reminding me of the tortures I'd gone through and the pain I'd felt for so long. For seven long months I've had to deal with this pain and torment. For seven long months I've had to deal with the guilt of being a murderer. To me it didn't matter that Hinata's father was a rapist and an abuser, at the end of the day he was still a human being just like myself. And yet I murdered him with my own hands. My own blunt fists and knees. I murdered a man just like myself without the use of a weapon and yet I'm still allowed to live as a normal person. For seven long months... these are the only thoughts that stabbed my brain like a recurring nightmare.... 
For seven long months.... all I wished for... was a restart button to press. Something to use to change what happened that night... Something to use to stop myself from committing such a crime. 

But at the same time.... I knew I couldn't. What had happened had happened and I knew there was nothing I could do about it now. At the end of the day, I'm a murderer, a fraud..... a waste of space on this planet and in Hinata's life... Hinata deserved better than me. Honestly thinking about it... maybe he'd be better off with Atsumu? He'd treat him properly. He'd set to him the way I do. He'd always be around whenever Hinata was in trouble. He'd have the capability to stay strong for Hinata. Unlike myself... I could hardly control myself... Hinata has done so much more for me than he could possibly realise. All I've ever done for him... was just cause problems....  So I don't understand why he's still here. Why he's still with me.... 

As a small tear slipped down my cheek, I caught sight of it. That blunt, blood covered blade that had crossed my skin so many times. I wanted to touch it again. To reach out and grab it so I could feel that pain that I know I shouldn't be craving.  But I couldn't stop. I reached out. My hand was shaking. No. My entire body was shaking. I knew it was screaming at me to stop but I just couldn't. I gripped that blunt weapon between my fingers and I stared at myself holding it in the mirror. I looked like a psychopath or a crazy serial killer or something. But then I saw it. I saw who I'd become. I wasn't me anymore. I was Akami. I was that sick bastard that had died at my hands. And the crazed look in my eyes scared even myself. But the sound of the bathroom door being slammed open made me scream. The blade fell from my grip, clattering to the ground as I jumped back and tripped over my footing, causing me to fall back - panting heavily and sweating all over when I looked up wide-eyed seeing Hinata at the door. 
But the minute he saw me, he ran over. "Tobio!" He cried, kneeling beside me with a worried look. 

I couldn't talk. My eyes shot to the blade now on the floor by the door and I shifted back so quickly I startled Hinata too. "Tobio! It's me. Calm down I'm here." 
With rapid breathing, I looked to the orange blur beside me. I couldn't see properly from the shock I had and all I felt like doing was launching myself into his arms. And since I was panicked that exactly what I did. The door wide open and my t-shirt still off, I collided into Hinata, finally letting everything I'd bottled up out. I didn't care about practice now. All I wanted was to end the pain.

All I wanted right now... 


Was to destroy my silent suffering.

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