Lena's Love

Break Up

Ok I really do not know whether to believe the rumours I'm hearing. For some reason the gossip being spread around this cold Monday morning is Ajax and Kat are no longer an item - even though they were never really 'official' official. I can't stop the joy that rises me like a balloon into the ethereal clouds in my chest. Did Ajax break up with her because of me? He did basically admit to being jealous and having feelings for me... Ah!

He surprisingly wasn't home when I babysat Miya and Nessie yesterday morning, so I haven't seen him since the whole breaking into my room thing. I know Ajax doesn't like early mornings any more then I do (trust me I am not a nice person before nine am - maybe even ten sometimes) so either he had an arrangement or he was avoiding me. Needless to say I was in a pouty mood the whole of yesterday because I didn't get to see him. I just missed him. I'm used to his company. It's kind of scary how important he has become to me after only a couple of months. The thought of my life minus Ajax is... unsettling, to say the least.

I thought maybe he felt awkward about spilling his fears and insecurities to me, and revealing he does actually have a heart that is enamoured by this mysterious Ingrid girl. Nobody has ever mentioned her, and without a last name it is hard to find and stalk her online. But now I'm thinking he was out breaking things off with Kat... suddenly it seems like a very good day, and I'm miraculously knocked out of my infamous Monday morning grump.

Last night he was blowing my phone up with messages, and we texted back and forth for hours whilst only a few feet away. Welcome to the modern generation. He didn't mention Kat at all though, which is puzzling me. Did he call things off with her or not? I try to subtly glance towards Kat, who is sat next to the radiator a couple of desks across from mine. Laura and Sandra keep whispering about different things, one reoccurring topic about how Ajax savagely broke Kat's heart and had sad she now looks. I don't think that is quite true. I don't think Kat would allow anyone to break her heart.

I lean forward a little, looking past Javon and Ezra who are messing around throwing paper at their mates. Kat is sat next to her friend Nolan, and she seems fine. There are no immediate tells that she is deep in the pits of sadness or consumed by a fiery rage which will explode on me. They are both quiet and not messing around doing their makeup and winding the teacher up. This might be the first lesson they aren't kicked out in. Kat hasn't looked at me or given an indication that she knows I have spoken to Ajax and basically tried to convince him to break up with her.

If they really are no longer an item then I really hope Ajax didn't disclose my part in it. I feel bad enough as it is, and honestly Kat scares me a little. She is so confident, and confidence is power, and I know she would not hesitate to beat me up, even with long fake nails and heels. I don't think my mom can afford my funeral right now.

For the rest of the lesson I am on edge, and as my desk buddy Shannon keeps shuffling around, crossing and uncrossing her legs continuously, it really puts me off my essay and increases my anxiety. By the time the bell rings I am a frazzled mess, and I hurry to the front to drop my papers off to Miss Frazer, who reminds us all to read the next chapters of the book we are studying before next lesson. The air feels clearer in the hallway, as students burst from the doorways like water rupturing through an old pipe.

I haul my bag further onto my shoulder and try to ignore the embarrassing squeak of my new boots on the tiled floor.

"Lena!" Oh no, I turn slowly with a probably terrified smile to face Kat.

"Oh hey, you ok?" I ask as I cross my arms in front of me and stand to the edge of the corridor so that we don't cause a traffic block. At least if she hits me here I'll have witnesses. I wrap my long purple wool cardigan that trails to my knees tighter around me, as if it could protect me.