All Four Of Me

Chapter 25

The switch in attitudes from their bitter argument this morning to now is almost jarring to me and I don't understand how they can go from shouting at each other as if they were the worst of enemies to laughing and joking around as if nothing ever happened, all within in the space of a day. Maybe it's all an act and they are just putting on a brave face to keep us all from descending into even further chaos, I mean, they are capable of tricking their brains into being happy by faking their smiles, how hard could it be for them to do the same with this situation?

"Why haven't you invited your mother over since I have been here?" I ask suddenly, effectively stopping the playful squabbling between the men in the room. The question was directed at Will, considering he seems to have the biggest problem with not seeing his family, but the others are still aware that this question also relates to them as well.

"Look, sweetheart. There has been a lot going on since we decided to become a foster family and our biological families are a hundred percent supportive of this arrangement. We had originally planned to introduce you to our families about three weeks after you arrived, just so that we could give you enough time to settle in and get used to us before we brought a bunch of unfamiliar people into your life, especially considering our families can be a bit...overwhelming." Will explains, cringing slightly at his choice of description.

"So why didn't you?" I press again, wanting to understand exactly where the issue is stemming from so that I can try to fix it and avoid any further conflict surrounding the topic later on. There is more behind their reasoning than this and I am going to get it out of them.

"Your diagnosis took us by surprise and during that period we all needed some time to process all the changes that were happening within our household. We figured that if we were having that much trouble wrapping our heads around your condition then it must have been a hundred times more difficult for you, and therefore we decided that it wouldn't be fair to throw the craziness of our families into the mix of things you had to deal with already."

I understand where they are coming from, but their logic also makes me want to pull my own hair out. Of course I found it difficult to understand the weight of my disorder, but chaos and craziness is nothing new to me and if I can handle everything I have been through up until this point then surely I would be able to handle meeting their families.

"I've been living like this for the past ten years. You don't have to treat me with kid gloves because you are scared of triggering my alters or anxiety. If I'm going to be triggered there is nothing anybody can do about it, so you might as well just continue living your life like you were before I came here." I shrug nonchalantly, pushing a loose strand of hair out of my face. "I'm the one that's been placed in your living situation, so therefore I'm the one who has to adapt."

After all, I am only temporary. This placement is temporary and today's events have only served as a painful reminder of why I shouldn't become complacent.

"That might be true honey, but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't be doing our part to minimise the impact our lives have on you." Nathan counters, his voice holding nothing but sincerity.

"And you have done your part. Trust me when I say you have done just about everything possible to make my life more bearable while living here, but there are just some things that you can't control and as difficult as it is for me to face certain situations, you can't let my problems dictate your life because I'm not going to be here forever." It sucks to admit it out loud, but it's the truth. Their families are still going to be apart of their lives when I'm not, so it seems only logical that they should protect what is already a sure thing.

"Maybe not forever, but at least until you're eighteen." Chris tries to correct me, but my mind is already pushing away the hope his words are attempting to create.