under the cover of darkness [g.r]

epilogue - better days

This is the journey, this ain't the end. I'm waiting here till I see you again.

The air was clear and the sun was bright as they sat down on the rocks that guarded the sea from land. The wind was getting up a little, cold and salty as it funnelled up the arms of Abi's coat and made her shiver. She looked out to sea, watching a gull dip and dive along the water, sqwarking at nothing in particular. It was coming up to George's birthday, to Valentine's Day. They had decided to take a trip to the seaside to relax themselves, though the weather really was not suitable for it.

George poured hot tea out of his thermos into two ceramic mugs, chipped and battered from how long they had been stored in the boot of his car for.  They did the job though, Abi cradling the warmth in her hands as she watched grey meet aqua as the sea rolled back out to the horizon. They were quiet, blanket over their legs and coats zipped to their chins. George was humming softly, a song Abi didn't recognise and knew she would quickly get sick of. She sighed, the heat of the tea fogging her glasses as she had a slow sip.

"Talk to me." George said softly, making Abi turn to look at him through misty vision. He laughed softly at the sight. "Things haven't been the same since New Year, Abs..." He said softly, reaching out to rub her thigh over the blanket. Abi looked at him and swallowed nervously.

"I don't think this is going to work, George," She said quietly, the cold air making her glasses return to normal once she had dipped her tea. "I just don't think that I can be with you after everything that happened. Abu, New Year... Whilst I trust you when you say nothing happened with Seychelle, I just hated seeing how you were with Alex, how comfortable you were with Seychelle." She became quiet, George's face soft and eyes damp as she spoke. Her words became difficult, trapped in her throat as her hand took the fingers that rested upon her thigh.

"I felt like this was coming." He said softly, eyes on his hands and then slowly tracing along the soft curves of his soon to ex's side, eventually meeting with hers once more. George could tell this was not a light decision, the pain on Abi's face told him how hard it had been. He understood, he had fucked her over big time. Whilst he had tried so hard to make things right, he knew that nothing would make up for what happened. He needed to accept it, needed to let Abi go on with her life. "I understand, I do." He assured, having a shaky sip of his tea. He did understand, but he didn't like it. He hated how he had ended up letting the pair of them get into this situation. Because he was fully to blame. "I want you to be happy, Abs. You deserve it, you don't deserve to have me mess you around any more than I already have." He swallowed and looked to his mug, watching the liquid skirt the edge of the mug before settling again.

"Until my anxieties are sorted, I honestly don't think I am going to be suitable for a relationship with anyone. We have had an amazing time together and I have loved every moment, but..." Abi sighed, taking a sip of tea as George looked out to sea with a furrowed brow, sadness creasing his face. "I just really don't think this relationship is good for me. And we're going to spend a lot of time apart this year too." She continued, sighing and then looking to the tall lad who sat beside her, their fingers still intertwined, both too sad to let go.

"I will still see you at the factory and things, though.." Abi smiled slightly - that was another thing she was yet to tell George. "And we can FaceTime, spend loads of time together when we have free weekends." Abi knew he was desperate, but she couldn't let him change her mind again. She knew this was the right thing to do as much as it pained her heart.

"I'm leaving Williams over the summer break." She said softly, George's eyes going wide. "I've got a job at Torro Rosso, so... I think I'm going to have to move to Italy." George's face fell, mouth agape.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asked, taking his hand from hers and placing his mug down on the rocks beside him. "So not only are you breaking up with me you're moving away too? So this is it?" Perhaps Abi should have told him sooner but, she knew things were coming to an end. He didn't really need to know, did he? She wondered if they would survive the distance anyway, not being able to see each other at the drop of a hat. "Is this what you really want, Abi? You know I am more than willing to work things out, gain your trust again. I know we need time, I am willing to give us as much time, take it as slow was we need. Please." He whispered. Abi could see the tears in his eyes, the desperation in his words. Abi wanted to, she truly did, but she knew she had to treat herself better than that, than you be in a relationship that would only cause her anxiety. She didn't really know what to say, eyes cast out to sea. She couldn't bare to look at George any longer. "Please, Abi." He whispered.