Problem Solving

"Light experimentation"

"I don't know, you made it rather clear to me that you weren't straight before we even started talking." I reply, just as nonchalantly as her. I look at myself in the mirror, my mouth messy with her lipstick.. I could also use a wipe.

"That's a lie. I'm a very good actress." She puts her wipe in the bin and turns around to look at me. She smirks a little "you're pretty lipstick stained Marina.." she takes a wipe and sits on the bed with me "hold still"

"You aren't really about to wipe my face are you?" I ask, she shushes me and cleans me up. It makes me feel strangely comfortable. I enjoy it even.

"All done" she bins my makeup wipe too "now you owe me a favour. I'm just gonna ask what you did with Stella and you're gonna tell me" she tells me, clearly proud of herself.

"How clever of you.." I smile a little, still mad she got me turned on for nothing, but at the same time just enjoying being with her. "Why are you so desperate to know, I wonder.. it isn't really any of your business."

"You are my business." She tells me quite seriously.

It sort of means a lot. By that, I mean I think she actually might mean something by it, and not just be saying it as a means to get what she wants.

"Well in that case.." I smile, she smiles too

"What'd you do? Use your mouth?" She asks, almost enthusiastically. I wish she was more jealous saying that.

"Gosh, no. Can you imagine being friends with someone and pretending nothing had happened after that?" I ask, she laughs a little

"I pretend nothing goes on between you and I well enough"

"That's because we're yet to take our clothes off" I pause "it wasn't anything serious with Stella. It was casual and we flowed into it, kissing whilst she let me touch her. I didn't take her clothes off or anything, it'd probably have made it weird between us afterwards if I did. But as it was we just went to sleep and woke up and it was fine."

"Okay stop now you're making me jealous." She narrows her eyes, I smile

"I'm sorry. You did ask.." .. "Lizzy I feel like we should talk about something.."

"Please not mental health I really don't wanna" she admits, I kinda laugh

"Me neither, we can have that discussion another time.. I want to ask you seriously whether you'd want to do things with me" I say, a little nervous but feeling good that we're talking about it. It really is something I think about. I want to know what it is she wants. "I know we don't acknowledge anything happens between us but, I think maybe it's good to be open about these things"

"I agree I just.. I don't know.. It's hard to accept. You're the only person in the world that knows I feel anything at all for girls." She bites her lip in thought a second. She feels vulnerable. It's sexy. "Not even girls in general, just you. I'm not gonna come out or anything because it isn't worth it" she realises what she said "wait, fuck, that sounded mean"

"I get it" I smile "you don't want to change your sexuality and entire identity for just one girl."

"Right.." she nods a little

"Then we carry on as we are. Nice and private" I kiss her gently. I don't know why I do, perhaps just to give her some reassurance. But I like it, and she doesn't pull away until I do. "And about the sex stuff..?" I ask, trying to seem confident.