༄ 𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘦 (𝘗𝘊) ༄

Chapter 8: A Damaged Soul Explores Aslan's How

Caspian led the army alongside Peter while the two discussed plans. I kept a good distance from them, not wanting to make Peter more cross with me in front of everyone. Best to leave that for when we were alone. Edmund and Susan walked behind them while Trufflehunter and the two Dwarfs followed them. Lucy, Reepicheep, and I were directly behind them, with the mouse in between us.

Trufflehunter was pestering Trumpkin with questions about the Kings and Queens. There was excitement in his voice, indicating he just wanted to know them better but found it rude to ask them himself. Trumpkin responded in a monotone voice that they were "complainers and stubborn as mules in the morning." His comment made me smile while making Lucy and Reepicheep chuckle a bit.

The rest of the Narnians were behind us, with only a small group separating Susan and Edmund from the leaders. I was straining to hear what was being discussed—without it looking like I was doing so—and picked up bits of the conversation. Caspian informed Peter that a majority of the Narnians didn't know how to fight, but they had found a place to be used as a training ground. Peter seemed satisfied with that but immediately delegated who would be doing what.

Susan would train the archers with some help from Caspian if she needed it. Edmund would take care of training those using weapons other than swords—mace, rapiers, scythes, and others—as he was more experienced in other weapons than them. With the exception of Lucy, but I suspected they wouldn't let her get involved too much. Peter, of course, would work on their sword-fighting skills and told Caspian he could help as well. They would also have to train how to function as an army and not just as individuals.

But neither of them said anything about me. Neither had acknowledged my presence since the exchange in the clearing. Now it seemed as though they both had forgotten I was there. I sighed. This was just like how it was before they left. I was being treated as a child and forgotten about until they decided I was needed for something important. Most of the time the things they wanted me for weren't that important either. They had to know I would see through that.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't realize Lucy was trying to talk to me. She had to say my name many times before I even acknowledged that she was beside me. But shortly afterwards, I had zoned out and didn't concentrate on what she was saying. That was until I felt a sudden poke in my leg. I looked down to see Reepicheep had swiped at my calf with his blade.

"Ow!" I cried, sending him a mild glare.
"Wake up! Her Majesty's trying to talk to you," he chastised.
"I know," I sighed before directing my conversation to Lucy. "I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I was... focused on other things."
She smiled. "It's alright, Ana. But please, enough with the formalities. You know better."
"My apologies."
"Are you alright?" she asked. Her voice held concern and I knew she had picked up that I was hiding something.
"I'm fine."
"Really? What's happened to you? You're not the same person I knew—that we knew. You're... colder, more guarded. And the way Peter looked at you.... what was that about?" So she had seen his look as well.
"I could hazard a guess," I stated more harshly than intended, "but I don't know for sure. Your guess would be as good as mine. As for why I'm different, well aren't we all? It's been 1300 years, Lucy. Things change and people change."

Lucy was silent for a moment, observing me as we walked. I looked away, unable to handle the concern in her eyes. She was the only one not so easily fooled. I rarely hid things from her, but as she got older that changed. She was still keen on reading me, however, most of the time I wouldn't explain what was bothering me. I chose not to burden her with my issues and I wouldn't do so now.
"You've been hurt," she surmised—correctly I might add. "And I don't mean just physically... It was emotionally too."

Usually, Lucy pressed the subject, but this time she didn't. We fell silent and the matter was dropped. I didn't, however, miss the concerned look Reepicheep exchanged with her. But neither said anything and I was glad we reached the end of the forest. Aslan's How was now in view and any questions they might've had were pushed aside for a later time.