DROWN ° tobias eaton

𝒙𝒊𝒗. the second stage of initiation

It became louder. "Tara!"

His words had not yet registered in her mind, she was too deep in her thoughts.

"Hey Cactus!" Peter was yelling after her now, and her head twitched his way in an instant, "Get your ass up so that we can all be over with this shit."

Her eyes shifted to his. "Careful," she stood and brushed her trousers, "or I might just prick you." She arced a brow as she walked past the brown haired boy, who grimaced her way. She slowly decreased the distance to the doorway in which Four stood, watching the interaction, a slight pinch of annoyance in his throat.

Four was about to open his mouth when Tara silenced him with a hand, indicating that she had in fact heard him now. He tilted his head questionably before motioning her to step inside, closing the door firmly behind himself once she had entered.

Four cleared his throat, watching her tense frame make its way into the room. "How are you holding up?" He asked.

She didn't answer.

A small sigh. "Take a seat."

She nodded slightly and made her way over to the steel chair, there was a twitch in her eye as she stared at it. Sitting down, Tara felt the cold metal through her black clothes and a small shiver became evident on her skin. As she leaned back on the chair, she realised Four had asked her a question. "You asked something," she muttered and sat up again, her hands were shaking. "What did you ask?"

Four sat on his stool behind the big screen and contemplated if he would answer her or not. That was until he realised he actually wanted to know the answer to his question. He moved the stool slightly to the left in order to see her. "I asked how you were holding up. You look nervous."

She shook her head unconvincingly. "I'm excited."

Four was not amused. "Don't do that."

"What?"

"Lie to yourself." His eyes were deep in hers. "Everyone's afraid of something."

"Hmm," she muttered. Her back hit the cold steel once more as she sighed. Tara had seen her own reflection that same morning and she knew there was no need to deny him. The paleness of her cheeks and hollowness beneath her eyes spoke louder than a thousand lies. "I'm keeping my head above the surface." The words sounded like they were trying to convince herself of the lie, but he could see it in her eyes that there was no truth to them.

Four nodded slowly, not exactly knowing what to respond or how to react. "Try not to drown," he finally said, instantly regretting it. Idiot. "Let's get started." His eyes washed over her. "Remove your jacket."

"Are you used to saying that?" Tara nodded.

He didn't respond, but a small puff of air left his nostrils. "Okay... As you're probably aware of, this is the Second Stage if Initiation. The first one was more physical and this will focus on the more psychological parts of you." He typed something on the computer. "I'm going to inject you with a serum that stimulates the parts of your brain that processes fear. It's going to feel like a hallucination, and just like the Aptitude Test, you won't know you're in a simulation until you've woken up.

"Is it worse?" She asked. Tara's pulse was already rising, she could hear Mother's voice inside her head, warning her of the Simulation. Do the wrong thing. Act the wrong way, Chantara, and they'll kill you. Her hands were sweating. They'll kill all of us.

Her entire life, Tara had been raised by one of Erudite's own supremes. Mother had been high in the food chain of knowledge, and it taught her how to manipulate the Aptitude Test. In fear that her daughter had been a — so called — Divergent (not because of the safety of her daughter, but more so because she could not bare the embarrassment that it would bring), she had trained Tara for it since she was old enough to understand. She taught her everything there is to know about a simulation, and what exactly the person on the outside could witness. It's a test, that had been her first lesson. Everything you do can and will be used against you. If you cheat, you're dead. If you're too good, you're dead. During the days when she did not study for school or train by herself, she spent under Mother's hard stare, and when the day came, she was prepared, she was able to manipulate the test because she knew what was to be expected.