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— HE would be lying if he said he wasn't scared. Daryl Dixon wasn't a man who feared much. He chose to intimidate rather than show his true self. All his life he knew one thing. The only thing that stood out above everything else.
Letting someone in made you stupid.
When Merle died, Daryl's life had taken a turn. He relied on Merle almost the entire time he was growing up. In high school, Daryl was the scrawny kid. The one who got picked on for not wearing the coolest shoes that year or because his dad spent yet another night in the county jail.
Either way, Merle was the one who showed those kids that the Dixon brothers were not a pair to be messed with. Merle spent countless hours in their garage, teaching Daryl how to fight like a man. How to stick up for himself.
When Daryl didn't get enough to eat at dinner, Merle gave him half his meal. It was a selfless relationship the two of them had for one another. Growing up they knew of nothing other than tough, hard love. To them, it was love nonetheless.
Daryl met Remmi four years ago. Four years ago, his brother went missing. Being handcuffed on the roof above a department store in Atlanta. This only resulted in him forcefully cutting his hand off.
For Daryl, a void was created. His family, his only family had been presumed dead. It terrified the younger Dixon to be alone. Whether he admitted that or not.
The fear had soon diminished as Daryl realized he was closer with the group of people he survived with than he thought. But with Remmi, he didn't want to be any closer to her than he had too.
He didn't want to let anyone else in. He refused too. So, Daryl cut all ties with the young brunette that had the potential to break his heart.
Until the problem became unavoidable.
The two of them bonded over Celine Díon CD's and argued over whether colors of the rainbow really mattered.
It was all harmless until the emotions rolled in. Emotions that couldn't help be anything, but felt.
He let his guard down for Remmi. She was special. She was different. She was the one if there had ever been 'a one.'
But now as complete strangers were welcoming them in with open arms, Daryl's fear was back. He feared for Remmi's life and now Andy's life.
Another human had been added to his plate and he just welcomed her with open arms.
When Andrew passed, Daryl could see the pain in Remmi's eyes. How she bottled up her feelings until finally they just exploded.
He wasn't sure she could handle losing one more person.
Until she lost Eleanor. While the two of them were practically sisters, knowing each other since Remmi was in middle school, Eleanor was the one person Remmi felt she could rely on.
Now with her gone, Remmi's only family had been Andy. Of course, the young brunette would do anything to protect the sweet little girl.
But Daryl soon realized that so would he. Just like Remmi, Daryl would have done anything for Andy Tyler if it meant she was protected. Whatever the cost, he was paying.
He would do the same for Sadie. Wherever she was, Daryl still claimed her as his own kid. He refused to just give up on the red head.
In some ways, he felt like Remmi gave up on finding her. Their hearts had been broken after they lost her in the crossfire.
Daryl knew his heart was still broken, but to him, Remmi was almost all fixed up again. It was as if none of it mattered to her.
So Daryl Dixon did the one thing he was good at. He buried the fear, the emotion, and the burden. He never brought up what he felt to Remmi in fear that she was indeed heartbroken. She was just too fragile to face the reality.
Daryl walked out of the house with Remmi at his side, Andy walking in front of them.
"Careful, kid." Daryl said, picking the little girl up as she was about to go down the steps.
"Go, now?" She asked, her bright eyes looking up at Daryl.
He hummed in response, making a face. The baby knew what he wanted.
As Andy let out a loud, exaggerated sigh, "Please?"
"Was that so hard?" Daryl retorted.
When she didn't reply, Andy started to slowly but surely make her way down the house steps.
"You're not coming?" Remmi asked her husband.
Daryl shook his head. "I'll look later."
Remmi nodded, grabbing Andy's hand as the two of them headed down the street.
Daryl watched them walk down the street. Andy's laugh filling the entire road as Remmi chased after her.
He was having a hard time accepting Alexandria. That people could be so nice to let them in. It was no secret to anyone that they all looked rough around the edges.
He didn't like how Deanna tried to get under his skin. Asking him questions about his past life had bored him. That wasn't his life anymore. The present, the now, that was his life.
Deanna asked if he wanted to be there.
For the kids sake, he told her they deserved a home. Which was true. But still, he longed to go outside the walls. That was all he had known for the last four years. It was a habit to be out there, fighting for his life. A lifestyle.
Eventually, he knew Remmi would bother him to no end about meeting the folk that lived in the houses. For now, he would keep his spot on the porch swing, enjoying the silence that he was grown all too accustomed too.
published — unedited
WORDSFROM-ANGRYBRUCE so, i think i've figured out the problem. i've been telling myself that i need to have a set word count for each chapter and if i don't reach it, then all hell breaks loose.
obviously that isn't true lol.
anywhooo, i wanted to give some insight to daryl and how he was feeling since i almost never write in his point or really any point of view since writing in first person scares me :)
