Yours Regardless

A Father Weeps

           Charlize hugged her knees closer to her body as she looked out into the murky water of the Black Lake. She had been sitting there for the past half hour or so since the debacle in the courtyard. It wouldn't be of much surprise if the whole school knew she was the one who killed Cedric Diggory.

           "This seat taken?"

Her head shot to the right as the voice of Amos Diggory greeted her. She said nothing as he sat down, and she turned back toward the lake when he moved to look her in the eye.

           "He talked highly of you." Amos said, eyes turning to the lake when she wouldn't meet his eyes.

Charlize shrugged, "He wouldn't talk bad about anyone."

           "I don't blame you for what happened. At first I did, and I was going to come here to convince you to turn yourself into Azkaban. Take you myself even." Amos admitted, looking back at the young girl.

           "There wouldn't be much convincing." She muttered.

Amos sighed, "You want to know what changed my mind?"

Charlize was silent and he took it as an invitation to continue.

           "It requires a lot from a father to take on the feat of seeing the body of his dead son, and even more to look his son's killer in the eye." He watched as the girl shuddered subtly.

           "But walking up here, to talk to you, I realized what you must have gone through in that cemetery. The imperius curse... correct?"

Charlize only offered a nod.

           "I imagined the pain of having to look a close friend in the eyes as you are forced to kill them, and doing so as a fourteen yearold nonetheless. I don't blame you, Charlize, not anymore. And I don't want you to blame yourself."

           "I should've been strong enough to-"

Amos put his hand up dismissing her, "There isn't a single witch or wizard in the history of magic who has been able to refuse commands under the curse."

Charlize fell silent again.

           "Though his fate was grim, he is safe now, and that thought alone is what brings me peace. Instead it is you I am worried about, having to live with the inevitable guilt, no matter how many times someone says it wasn't your fault, could drive a person mad."

           "I would deserve it... I'm sorry I don't see things the way you do."

Amos sighed, "I know by asking you this I am putting a lot on your shoulders, and I don't expect it to happen today, nor this week or even in the next months. But I am asking you to forgive yourself, not for me or even for you, but-"

He cut himself off as his voice started to waiver, a few silent tears falling as Charlize mastered up the courage to look at him. She felt her own warm tears roll down her cheeks at the sight of a father who lost his son.

           "Cedric, wouldn't want you to keep blaming yourself. He loved you too much, in the little time he knew you, you had become a little sister to him."

Amos reached his arm around the girls shoulders, her eyes locked on the lake again refusing to move in fear of completely breaking down.

           "Take care of yourself." With that Amos Diggory pulled himself up, and left.

It had been ten minutes before she heard another set of footsteps coming her way.

           "I assume Amos found you?"

Remus Lupin asked as he sat down next to his daughter. She nodded, but refused to say anything more.

           "I figured you'd be out here. Back in my Hogwarts days I used to come sit here to think, guess it runs in the family." He smiled, bumping his shoulder softly with hers.

Charlize let a small smile come to her lip to please her dad but it fell seconds after it appeared, too heavy for her to wear.

           "How is my father?"

Remus sighed, he was hoping that conversation would come up later.

           "He's worried. That's actually one of the things I had to talk to you about. Your father is resuming his previous position as a spy for Dumbledore and-"

Charlize turned to meet his eyes, "That's ridiculous! They couldn't find anyone else?"

           "He insisted, something about keeping an eye on Lucius Malfoy" Remus answered.

           "And he was worried it would be too dangerous for you to stay with him while he resumed his position so we decided that it would be of your best interest if you were to come live with me. Of course you don't have to, Molly Weasley was very ke-"

           "No," She cut him off. "I want to go with you, please."

He nodded, "Then it's settled. Sirius will be happy to see you, I may have let it slip that you had gone and turned yourself into an animagus so you might have a celebratory cake waiting for you."

Although it was short, Charlize let out a laugh, a real laugh that made her dad's heart just a tad lighter.

           "Of course you will still be seeing your father, but you'll understand logistics in due time."

Charlize nodded, once again saddened by the fact that this would be the second summer in a row that she wouldn't be able to spend with her father, Severus.

The father and daughter sat at the bank of the lake, no further words uttered between the two as they were content in just each other's presence. Charlize thought about the lake, how cold the water had felt when she had to swim in it, the grindylows, and she thought about Cedric. Allowing herself to ignore his last moments as she imagined his smile, and the way he'd pull her under his arm to rifle her hair. She thought about how he always smelled like honey and dandelions, or how he was rarely ever genuinely sad. 

Charlize would miss him, incredibly and painfully. She'd miss Ced.