Winning Hurricane

XLV- Ampakines

"So, how are you?"

"Fine."

I really do sound bitter, pero hindi naman kasi kami naging close.. and it's so hard to act chummy to the person who's been one of the reasons for my heartache.

Hindi nawala ang ngiti niya habang nakatingin sakin hanggang sa mapabuntong hininga siya.

"You know.. there's something na gusto kong sabihin sayo matagal na.. nahihiya lamang talaga ako na i-reach out ka and.. well, it's really been so long.."

Hindi ako umimik o sumagot. Babalikan na naman ba namin ang lahat ng nangyari dati? Nakakapagod na.

Alam ba nila gaano katagal kong inayos ang sarili ko? Wala na talaga akong plano alalahanin lahat.

"But I think you deserve to know it.." I watched how she drinks her tea, na para bang biglang kinabahan bago muling tumingin sakin. "Kaya I was really glad na makita ka accidentally kanina."

Umiling ako. "Look, Barbara." She winced when I call her by her full name. "It's been years, our past deserves to rest now." I sincerely said.

"I know, pero gusto ko lamang malaman mo.. alam kong wala naman ng mag-babago pero gusto ko lamang malaman mo na Hurricane didn't kissed me that day."

My brows furrowed.

Are they kidding me right now? Nag-usap ba sila at gumawa ng sariling version ng story nila?

"I know what I saw."

Nagdikit din ang kilay niya bago napailing, "Do you really?"

What does she mean?

"Whatever. Wala na din namang sense to."

But she just shook her head, licking her lips as she heaved another sigh to gain courage.. for? "I.. I was the one who kissed him that day. Nakita na kita na nasa may door kaya when he leaned in to hug me.. I.. I took the opportunity and kissed him. Cliche, right? But I'm cliche and.. that's what happened."

What?

"You know.. sometimes our eyes fools us. We only see what we want to see, nasabi na sakin ni Hurricane before na threatened ka sakin? Kaya siya umiiwas noong una.. but you see.. I was really desperate that time.."

I don't know what to feel.

"Kahit noong nag-usap tayo dito seven years ago, hindi ko padin inamin sayo because deep down.. umaasa ako na kami ang end game. You see, I've watched him grow from a boy to my dream man and in those years.. ako yong kasama niya so it was really hard for me to just watch him loving you.. I dedicated my whole life to him. We were at each other's side when we were facing the storm and we stood together when we reached our dreams.. but he still chose to find his happiness in someone else's arms. I built a man only to hand him to another woman.. and it wasn't easy, Chandrella..

"But that was before. We all moved on now. Gusto ko din humingi ng sorry, sorry kasi sobrang mali nong ginawa ko..hiyang hiya pa din talaga ako sayo. I know okay ka na.. but I really believe you need to know the whole truth. Hindi ko din alam bakit hindi sinabi sayo ni Hurri lahat.."

Akala ko tapos na ako..

But it felt like bumabalik ako sa naramdaman ko years ago..

Kasi kung totoo ang sinasabi ni Barb..

Then why didn't he tell me the truth?

He acted like he really did it..

Napa-balik ang tingin ko kay Barbara bago tumayo. "I'm.. I'm sorry but late na ako sa party." Mabilis kong paalam bago tumalikod at lumakad palayo.