𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐈 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 || ᶠᵘˡˡ ᵒᶠ ˢʰⁱᵗᵉᵘˢ~

...

You were the first (online) person with which I shared my handwriting and my drawing, my voice too....

Also, my recordings. I'm deeply sorry for you had to listen to my shitty songs, but I hope you get the meaning behind those. A hidden meaning I wanted you to discover about me suddenly recording "FILTER" for you. Do you remember I told you that I was gonna record "Serendipity" and then I changed it to "Filter". I did it because
I wanted to tell you that I would change/mould myself for you. In any form you wanted. So that I could be atleast a good or a loyal person (enough to deserve you) and not lose you. I wanted you to choose the "me" that you wanted to see. Thats it. I just hope that maybe you understood that.

You know why I got jealous so easily over you? Its actually because I didn't want to lose you. Jealousy isn't what I always do with people. This may not make sense but yes, I wanted some of your attention to me, because I needed someone for support. Someone like you, to be precise. Idk how am I so sensitive in these matters. Anyone can hurt me. I know I need to change that, I am trying. I just give the key to my happiness to other people.

This was for me right? I know.... 

(Sorry for stealing this from your book Nami-)
Why did you even leave me then? Nevermind, I'm being too greedy. I'd just do anything to find a person like you. You were the ideal chat friend I ever found.

I wish you didn't delete your account. atleast, just incase I ever wanted to visit it. I had earlier seen that you had deleted "our" conversations from your mb, to be honest, it broke my heart. Then I realized that it may be because of the problem you told me about. I didn't expect you going away so soon, though I got a feeling earlier that you were going to leave me...

I loved the fact that (probably) I was the first person you chatted with when you woke up. Idk how the tables turned so fast, everything ended so fast. Atleast I wanted to spend a whole year of our friendship, it wasn't in my fate...

Idk, all I do is cry nowadays. I feel like I would disappear any moment. I want to curl into a ball and die.... just living because of promises and Hara....There are a lot of problems going on. If a person like you was with me at such a time, (maybe) I would have felt better.

I hate you so much for making me feel special and then making me feel so miserable..

You could have told me the reason earlier if you didn't want to continue this, why just why?I know for sure that its me who messed up. If you told this to me, I'd have gladly accepted it. I got a feeling that we're about to lose contact but Hana the emotional fool is so stupid that she couldn't accept it.

I miss talking and spending time with a pure person like you.
I miss you harassing me *chuckes*
I miss you teasing me.
I miss you encouraging me.
I miss you praising me for no apparent reason, I know you did it for me so I never give up.
I miss those nicknames you gave me.
I miss our cute fights.
I miss how you were a pure and an honest person.
I miss you getting jealous because of Satan *sobs*
I miss some punishments.
I miss those virtual kisses and hugs.
I miss how you used to care for me, about if I ate or not.
I miss burning myself *chuckles*
I miss your spams. Nobody spams me like you did.
I miss how we used to spend the whole day with each other, chatting all day.
I miss you making me feel that I was atleast respected and loved.
I miss everything.

I have like, sweared upon something that I would try not to befriend people here. It has always hurted me. Everything, everyone. There's no other person like you here. You were an ideal chat friend I had wanted in my life. I got that, and then you know what happened...

But I still do... I promise to not believe in them that they'll make me happy and stuff, I'll never trust them like I trusted you.

Idk if we would ever be able to talk again and by any chance you'd see this. I'd not really want it or I'd just leave the world. But yeah there's one thing for sure, I would never forget you, you made me a little more strong, little more mature.

I used to be a comparatively happy person when I was with you. Nobody, even Sana, makes me feel like you did. I am sorry, everyone.... and yes you were correct, promises do hurt..

There was one point where I was willing to leave EVERYONE for you.. idk just... I know I'm stupid.

And make sure to tell your grandchildren about the jelly who ate you *chuckles*

I think this is all, I should stop writing anymore... I want to write more, but no cause I'm gonna sound like a widow then... so I'd stop it here.

From me, to you, Va~
(I won't reveal your name here..)

I actually came here to become a successful writer, and instead I am getting involved in people.... I wish the best for you and your future. I hope all problems are gone now. *sigh*
I love you.

If anyone read this. Then you probably wasted your time. I feel miserable, so I let it all here. Please don't criticize me. I know I sound lovesick. Trust me I'm not a person like this. I just ain't thinking straight....

I'm lowkey thankful to you though if you read it. Have a great day, everyone..