Letting go of self-restraint 2 - All that is missing is a little one

Chapter 6

Lan Wangji was holding Wei Ying in his arms, cocooned in a new clean blanket, and was observing his relaxed sleeping face while continuing to release his pheromones. He could not believe that only minutes ago the Yunmeng Jiang disciple was seized by panic after he tried to wake him up and acted like an afraid animal, running into a corner and hiding away, trembling and on a verge of tears.

Even though his soulmate was now deep in a peaceful slumber because of the sleeping pills, he could not get the image of his terrified expression out of his mind: "Who did you see instead of me, Wei Ying? Who made you so afraid? Why do you refuse to talk to me? Is what you are currently recalling truly so horrible you do not want me to know? I want to be here for you; I want to help you. If you do not want me to touch you, I will not. If you do not want to be around me anymore, I will go away. If you do not want me in your life anymore, I will leave according to your wishes...

For weeks now, why are you avoiding my touch? Why do you look reluctant to have any physical contact? Are you already tired of our everyday? If that is so, just one word from you and I will never touch you that way again. Is your current emotional state really caused by your nightmares as you claim or are you already fed up with me and want to leave me? Why am I afraid that you feel tied to me and being a prisoner in Cloud Recess? I never wanted that; after everything that happened to you, you deserve to be free and happy; not tied down to one person or a place. If I cannot give you that, I have to let you go, no matter how painful that is for me..."

A lone tear rolled down Lan Wangji's cheek; ever since Wei Ying started behaving strangely and avoiding him, he was insecure if he was not a burden to his husband. He already knew that the Yunmeng Jiang sect disciple felt obligated to stay in Cloud Recess because it was his husband's home, however the Second Jade wanted to believe that he had long abandoned this line of thoughts.

Last weeks, his husband was reluctant to engage in their evening activities, claiming tiredness or other duties and work to attend to. Lan Wangji never pressured him, he was however feeling lonely and scared. And the worst part was Wei Ying closing their mental bond on him, he could no longer hear his fears and sooth them. He felt extremely unsecure and on edge.

Hopefully, the medicine would work and Wei Ying would get better after a nice long sleep, the Second Jade would do his best to guard his peaceful slumber, wishing him only pleasant dreams.

After Wei Ying fell asleep, he still talked with Lan Xichen for a while. His brother agreed that the Yunmeng Jiang sect disciple was not telling them the whole truth about what was really weighing down on his heart. He did although suggest to give the younger boy some more space and be patient, offering assistance without being overly concerned or forceful. Wei Ying would talk to them once he was ready for it.

***

Wei Wuxian was feeling great when he woke up after using the sleeping pills for the first time, although he was surprised when he heard from Lan Zhan that he slept two nights and a day. It did not bother him too much, his body needed to rest and his mind as well. He did not have any nightmares and he was grateful for that. Lan Xichen warned him about overusing the medication, so he guessed it would take a while before he could take it again, it was worth it though.

He shot out of the bed and started dancing around the room, picking up his own and Lan Zhan's clothes, his energy abundant, he could not stay in one place. Even when the older boy brought breakfast, he became even happier at the realization that his stomach was cooperating for once and he ate two whole portions before he felt satisfied.

His belly full, he leaned back on his elbows to admire his soulmate's sunlight framed profile; Lan Zhan was sitting behind his guqin, practising diligently under an open window. "I slept well and my stomach is not bothering me anymore, I am sure it was just a sickness of some sort, not what I was afraid of. It will be alright now. I have such a handsome, kind and caring husband; what else count I wish for? I am so lucky.

A year and a half back, I did not dare to imagine my life would change so drastically. I thought I would spend a lifetime under Madame Yu's reign, doing everything I could to protect Uncle Jiang and my siblings. I am free now, more than I ever was. I am actually happy I am an Omega; it is because of my second gender that I met Lan Zhan and could bond with him. I could not believe it when he wanted me to become his husband and accepted me with all the burdens and problems I still have to solve and overcome... He is perfect. And he is mine."

When they finally finished with their morning routine, they made their way out of the Jingshi and run into Lan Xichen who greeted them with a knowing smile: "Did you sleep well, Wuxian?" Apparently the First Jade already guessed that the Yunmeng Jiang disciple was finally well rested as Wei Wuxian was bouncing around, literally beaming with unused energy.

"Brother Xichen, thank you very much for the medicine, it worked wonders, I have not felt this well in weeks." Wei Wuxian's voice was cheerful and it brought a small smile to Lan Zhan's lips and warmed his heart. The older boy took the Yunmeng Jiang disciple's hand, pulled him closer and kissed him in front of the amused looking and only slightly embarrassed Lan Xichen.

The First Jade responded fondly: "That is good news, I am happy that you seem in good spirits. I see you have a lot of energy as well."

Then he paused for a second, probably contemplating whether he should continue or not. "I have just learned about a request for help from a nearby village; there has been a beast terrorising its surroundings and attacking troops. I has yet to harm humans but I still wanted to send someone to check it out. Would you be willing to go? I would be more assured if you two went, we are not exactly sure what kind of beast it could be. You can consider it as a vacation and have a look around as well. The town is known for its hot springs, perhaps you could stay a few days there and relax, you have been working hard."

Wei Wuxian was extremely excited by the proposition: "I really want to go there. Lan Zhan was worried about me for a while now, I am sure he could use a good rest. We will take care of the beast and then we can go have some fun. Brother Xichen proposed for us to do so, so there would surely be no retributions for taking up his offer and enjoying some time outside of Cloud Recess. It is not that I do not like it here but sometimes the rules are suffocating, it would be nice to get away for a while. It can be my and Lan Zhan's second honeymoon..."

He noticed that the Second Jade tensed at his brother's proposition but remained silent otherwise. Wei Wuxian felt a prick of worry why his soulmate was not excited by the prospects as he was, he did not let it bother him too much, Lan Zhan was probably only tired. He squeezed his hand reassuringly and nodded in the direction of Lan Xichen: "We would be delighted to help."