Hello, (Not) Almost Lover

89

Cayleigh was never the optimistic girl.

Sa tuwing may nangyayaring maganda sa buhay niya, pakiramdam niya ay kaagad na may hihinging kapalit o 'di naman kaya ay panandalian lang.

When she met John, the ghoster, as what her friends called him, she thought he wouldn't even be interested in her. But he was eager to know her better. Months went by and they were talking about a lot of things: work, career, their personal lives and even senseless stuff.

She thought, maybe, this would be her chance to experience love. That someone would be willing to delve into her lackluster life.

But as usual, her luck and happiness don't last long.

John disappeared from her life after five months of talking (and flirting).  Bigla na lang nawala at hindi na muling nagparamdam.

She tried to reach him but to no avail. Parang pinutol na lang bigla ang lahat ng taling nag-uugnay sa kanila.

A lot of questions lingered in her mind days after she got "ghosted." A lot of whys and what-ifs. Bakit bigla na lang siyang nawala? Dahil nawala ang feelings? O baka wala naman talaga sa una pa lang? Pampalipas-oras lang? Baka na-realize niyang hindi niya talaga siya gusto? O baka may nahanap nang iba?

Her self-esteem was getting better, even by a little bit, for the past few months, but it crumbled right after that. Siguro nga, hindi siya kagusto-gusto. Siguro nga hindi siya deserving. She wasn't pretty. And she was boring, after all.

It took her three more months to start building her self-esteem again. She was also thankful that her friends helped her to move on.

"Maka-karma rin 'yon," Chi would always say.

"True. Ipasumpa mo kay Elle, tutal dilang-demonyo din 'yan," dagdag naman ni Ianne.

They accidentally found out what happened when they saw her crying. Hindi naman siya pala-share ng personal matters niya pero sobrang bigat lang ng dibdib niya noong araw na iyon kaya na-ikwento niya sa kanila.

They cheered her up for weeks and only focused on her. Hanggang sa mga sumunod na linggo ay napunta na kay John ang atensyon. They cussed and made fun of him in their group chat. Medyo nagi-guilty nga siya kapag ginagawa nila iyon dahil kahit papaano naging mabait ito sa kanya noon.

Pero sabi nga ng kaibigan nitong si Elle, hindi kawalan ang lalaking iyon. She must know her worth at hindi niya kasalanang na-ghost siya dahil wala naman siyang ginawang mali.

After that, she never thought about falling in love again. She didn't want to get hurt. Again. Tama na ang isang beses.

She focused on her work and did things that make her happy. Masaya naman na siya noon kahit mag-isa lang siya.

But fate seemed to have other plans. Isang John Santos na naman ang nakasalamuha niya.

Pakiramdam niya ay pinaglalaruan talaga siya ng tadhana. Sa dinami-dami ba naman kasi ng pwedeng makausap tungkol sa work ay iyong kapangalan pa ng lalaking nasaktan siya.

Every time his name pops up on her screen, naghahalu-halo ang pakiramdam niya. She would remember the good times with the first John, followed by the pain she felt when all of that disappeared. But this guy was quite different.

He looked quiet and aloof but he was also attentive and caring. Nang makita niya ito sa personal ay parang gusto niyang lumayo agad. He was cute, alright, but the way he stared at her made her restless. Para bang nasa kanya lang ang atensyon nito at hindi siya sanay ro'n. Why would people give her attention, anyway?