Chapter 1: New Girl's Beginnings

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It is a beautiful Tuesday afternoon, smack dab towards the end of May and the end of the 1st year Spring Semester at Philips School of Nursing at Mount Sinai in NYC, which means that my first year at Nursing School doing my B.S.N program is over.   I've always wanted to be a doctor and my mother recommended me nursing as a good prerequisite and I was always a good student. What a relief that 1st year is done, I finally get to go home.  I lived in Southern New Jersey so the car ride was a long and agonizing 3 hours. When I finally get back to my parents' house, I pull into the driveway and get out of the car with my luggage, feeling very optimistic about this summer, seeing childhood friends again, and spending time with my parents which I haven't done since Christmas break. I come up to the door and tap my foot against the porch as Dad answers the door, wearing his usual hawaiian shirt and cargo pants.

"Hey Max, come on in.  Mom is upstairs in the master bedroom." He said as he stepped aside to let me in and to make room for all the luggage that I was carrying.

"Thanks Dad, would you mind helping me out?  I would really appreciate it." I say, out of breath from carrying all of my stuff, including my clothes and much of my gaming PC setup.

"Yeah no problem, just go up and say hi to mom." He says as he goes outside and grabs the rest of my luggage from the trunk of my Dark Blue Honda Pilot SUV.

I walk up the stairs and into the master bedroom where I see the door to the bathroom locked.  I say hello to my Mom but she says that she is doing her business and to tell her to wait a few minutes.  I do as was asked and wait in the Master Bedroom for about 10 minutes before she comes out.

"Hey Mommy." I say kind of embarrased.  I'm 19 years old and still calling her mommy, damnit.

"Hey Honey." She replies. "How are you doing?  How was the drive?" She knew I never liked to drive and driving long distances home from college, especially 3 hours, was not my favourite thing to do.

"Oh, well, for 3 hours it wasn't so bad." I respond.  She then walks down the stairs, all the while asking me if I was hungry and what I wanted to eat for dinner, saying that I should destress from the drive and unpacking.  Oh, typical mom, always looking out for me, I thought.  I go down the stairs and Mom offers to make me some Donburi for dinner, which is a Japanese rice bowl with meat, veggies, and all of that good stuff over rice.  I happily accept the offer as the way my Mom cooks it, so good.  While I was eating, the food had a slightly weird aftertaste, kind of like medicine.  It was too subtle to really be overpowering and unpleasant so I ate the food anyway and didn't care

After eating the meal with the family, while my Dad was doing the dishes, I was throwing away a candy wrapper that I was eating as an after dinner snack, not necessarily dessert but essentially it was, I discovered these pill bottles.  I pulled them out of the trash and on the label was 8 mg prescription of Extra Strength Estradiol and Anti-adrogens tablets.  The weirdest part that occured to me at the time was that they were prescribed to me, which just didn't make sense at all.  I asked my Mom and she seemed so tense.

"Ummmmmmmmmmm, Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. They're..." She responded, she couldn't even come up with a straight fucking answer!  I demanded to know what was happening and she tried to make the excuse that they were for treating her developing menopause, however you don't treat menopause with HRT medication that is prescribed to your son.

"Alright, you caught us.  Sit down Max, we need to talk." She said.  I sat down right next to her on the couch and my father sat on the love seat just adjacent to the couch.

"Listen, Max.  You know that me and your father love you as our child, but we don't exactly love you as a son.  As you probably remember throughout your childhood, we constantly complained about wanting a daughter rather than a son and you probably though we was joking, like when we were mad at you, but we were serious.  I do want a daughter and Max, I will do everything in my power to have one before I die.  I can't have kids anymore as when you were little I had my uterus removed, but I have you." 

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