Lugar de Esperanza

Chapter 4

I remain silent as I observe my breathing. Somehow, Brett helped me to normally breathe and silently I thank him for that.

Ganito ako kapag may bumibigla sa nararamdaman ko at nakakabaliw dahil ako mismo ay hindi ko ito mapigilan ganoon din ang paghinga kaya laging takbuhan ko ang alak dahil ang tapang lamang no'n ang nakakapagpawala sa akin sa kung ano-anong isipin at pakiramdam pero iba ito ngayon, nagawa kong kumalma dahil sa tulong ni Brett.

"It's alright..." he said.

My eyes remained on my shoes. I don't want to look at him, I felt ashamed for being the other Benitez a while ago and... I am afraid that he might ask me questions that I can't answer.

"Every time you have difficulty in breathing, cover your mouth to avoid hyperventilation." He instructed with a soft voice.

I heave a sigh and slowly withdrew it. Hinawakan ko rin ang leeg ko saka tumingala nang nakapikit.

"Don't rush it though, take a few minutes to recover from it."

I sigh again and open my eyes. I wipe the tears that were about to fall earlier and I gulp before clearing my throat and decided to face him.

"Are you okay now?" he carefully asked.

I nod and smile, still ashamed. "I'm sorry for that, I-I don't have the control."

Ngumiti siya at tumango-tango. "It's fine, don't be sorry and don't feel embarrassed about it."

Muli akong natahimik at muli ring nag-iwas ng tingin.

"What do you want to do now?" he asked again.

The four corners of the room is so quiet and Brett is the only one who is talking and making everything light.

I shook my head. "I don't know..."

"Gusto mo bang magpahinga?" he asked and again I shook my head. "Gusto mo bang mag-usap tayo?"

In that moment I raise my gaze and look at him. Tinitigan niya lang din ako na may pag-iingat sa mga mata hanggang sa ilang minuto ang lumipas saka siya ngumiti sa akin at umayos ng upo.

"May kwento ako sayo," he started and bit his lower lip before smiling. "Ayos lang ba kung magkkwento ako?"

I am a bit hesitant but I still chose to nod at him. Medyo nagulat din ako dahil tila ang saya-saya niya kaya hindi ko matanggal ang mga mata ko sa mukha niya, hindi ako makapaniwala kung talaga bang si Brett ang nasa harapan ko ngayon. Ibang-iba siya sa Brett na may seryosong usapan lagi.

"May kilala akong gaya mo," he said still smiling, my brow furrowed. "Every time she got a panick atack ay tatawagin niya ako instead of focusing in breathing,"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "I didn't call you,"

"Yeah, yeah," he nod and chuckled. "I said someone like you, not you"

I roll my eyes. "I'm not like her, I didn't call you."

"Sure, you're not like her because you are different and amazing in your own."

Again, I roll my eyes. "Stop sugar coating, I am fine now, no longer attacked."

Tumawa siya at saka tumango. "She'll call me and will ask for help."

"Girlfriend?"

"Ah, yes?" he answered unsure and chuckled. "She was my girlfriend, very ideal. Gaya mo ay marami ring bumabagabag sa kanya,"

"Was? where is she?" I asked because it seems like she's no longer here. "'Yong babae ba kahapon sa garden?"

I suddenly think about that girl. Hindi naman imposible na siya ang girlfriend nito, nga lang she looks normal- I mean hindi gaya naming mga narito. But again, who knows?