This isn't your everyday fanfiction. This is advanced fanfiction.

New life... new trap. (Chapter 1 pt 1)

It's been years since you last watched Naruto, so you can't really blame yourself for not being on top of shit.

"Hi, mister..." you started before the man answered you.

"Sarutobi Hiruzen." He said in a light tone.

"Ah yes, the 4th hawkiba."

The man stared at you for a couple seconds before sighing a huff of smoke.

"I believe you mean 3rd Hokage, young one."
"Eh." You simply grunted.

"Anyways, can you tell me where your parents are."
"Non-existent." You said simply.

The man's gaze softened.

"So... they are dead."
"To me, yeah."

He cleared his throat.

"Do you have any relatives?"
"No."

He hummed at this and took a drag of his pipe and breathed out a puff of smoke.

"Alright, I just have a few questions that are required. I just need you to answer them." He said before locking his gaze onto your eyes.

"Do you mean any harm to this village?"
"The hell do I look like, a terrorist? ...no, no I don't mean harm to this village."

The man nodded his head and sighed.

"What village are you from."
"None, I woke up in a forest."

The man hummed at this.

"You woke up in a forest... and you have no memory of your home?"
"No, I remember where I'm from, but I won't be able to get there. I'm dead, you see."

The man blinked at you several times and took his pipe out of his mouth.

"You're... dead?"
"Yes."
"But... you are sitting here and talking just fine."
"Okay, so I should be dead. I got shot in the back of my head." You said while pointing to where the back of your neck and head meet.

The man gave you a skeptical look and you sighed and turned you head for him to see. You had a feeling that there would be nothing there and you would look crazy... until you heard a gasp.

"My... who did this to you...?"

You released the hair behind your head and turned back to him before shrugging.

"I dunno, and I don't really care." You sighed and slouched over.

"You... don't care?"
"No, I don't, I just wanted to die and that man couldn't get the job done."

The Hokage stared at you as you continued to berate who ever it was that tried to kill you for not killing you.

"...I really don't want to have to kill myself by my own hands, honestly, it's such a fucking burden. Say, do you have any guns here?"
"I do not understand what these guns are, child."
"Damn it."

The Hokage really didn't know what to say to this 13 year old who seems so keen on killing themselves. Not even that poor boy, Naruto ever mentioned wanting to take his own life, and he knows that boy has had a not so pleasant childhood so far...

Whatever happened to this child... he can only imagine.

Which was why he took pity in them.

"I would like to offer you residency in this village."
"Oh? How much space is there in the graveyard?"
"No, child, I was offering you a home."
"Six feet under?"
"Child..."

"This looks NOTHING like a grave at all." You looked up at the familiar apartment building. The man beside you, who you remembered as Iruka, Naruto's teacher in the first episodes, looked down at you with a hint of concern.