What Would Make Alastor Cry?

Put To Rest

Husk and I had been enjoying a nice meal of shrimp and crab gumbo, with two glasses that held generous proportions if whiskey, and playing a game of cards. We had been chatting for a good hour or two, ignoring the stares from the others. Angel had even joined us in our card playing. He didn't play well, but enjoyed it all the same.

"Full house." Husk displayed his cards with a smile.

"Two pair." Angel placed his cards down with a sigh.

"Good hand Husker," I nodded my respect, "but I'm afraid those cookies will be mine." I displayed my hand, a royal flush. Since we knew Charlie would disapprove of us gambling money, we used cookies instead.

"What!?" Husk exclaimed in surprise as I scooted the stack of cookies towards myself.

"That's the fifth time in a row!" Angel added, laughing at how Husk just stared at me. I smugly bit into a cookie, relishing my victory.

"Bastard." Husk muttered, causing me to chuckle. I pushed two portions of cookies towards them. I was a gracious winner.

"Hey Alastor?" A soft voice came from behind me. I turned to see Charlie fiddling with the strap of her suit suspenders.

"Yes my dear?" I noticed how she seemed nervous, like I was a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

"Could I talk to you in the kitchen?" I nodded and followed her. It was unusual for her to feel uncomfortable speaking to me around others. What could she possibly want to talk to me about?

"What is it my dear?" I asked once we were alone.

"Who's Abigail?" I suddenly felt as if I'd been hit in the gut by a freight train. Questions began flooding my head, particularly ones about how Charlie knew the name of my sister.

"I'm afraid I don't know who you are referring to my darling." I tried to turn around and head out before the conversation could continue, but Charlie stopped me by speaking again.

"Don't lie to me Al, I heard you say her name after you got hit with that spear! You also kept saying her name while you were unconscious." My blood had turned to icy sludge. I hadn't even considered that I had spoken in my sleep, other than my little incident with Angel Dust.

"Is she the one you were screaming about when you attacked Angel, the one you said was taken from you?" I didn't say anything, I just let my fist clench at my sides. If Charlie didn't stop, I was afraid I might loose my composure.

"Charlie please, just leave it be." I could already hear my voice breaking.

"No! Alastor I want to help you. Please talk to me." I felt a delicate hand grace my shoulder.  A memory surfaced in my mind, my sister trying to comfort me after I had just gotten in trouble with our father. Why did Charlie have to remind me so much of her?

"Why...why must you be so much like her?" I could almost hear Charlie's confusion as she retracted her hand.

"What?" I turned to Charlie, and I could hear a gasp escape her. It wasn't surprising though, since I did have tears streaming down my face. The smile I wore was slowly crumbling. I must have looked like a mess.

"My dear Charlie, it's complete torture. Everything about you reminds me so much of my sister. Your kindness, your innocence, the hope you place in everyone you love. It's not just those traits though, even your smile is like hers. The way you laugh, how you always have that glimmer of hope in your eyes, even though your in the most dismal place in the universe. God you even sound like her." I could feel my mind breaking as I spoke. With each word, a piece of my sanity broke away.

"Alastor..." Charlie's voice was weak, her face was crestfallen. She looked at me with what I assumed was pity.

"You know, when I first arrived in Hell, I was disappointed. This is supposed to be the place where your sins are punished, and I so badly wanted to suffer for what I had done. Yet when I arrived, I wasn't punished, I was given immense power. Do you know what I did with that power my dear? Do you?" Charlie shook her head, that look still on her face. I laughed as I gave her an answer.

"I used that power to take out my anger on those who dare call themselves Overlords. All I saw were a bunch of spoiled brats who crushed those who were weaker beneath their heels. Just like the man who took my beloved Abigail away from me." Charlie thought I was insane. I could see it in her face. The smile I had worn was gone now, replaced with what I assumed was the expression of a man who stopped caring about his actions along time ago.

"I thought I had been sent to the afterlife unpunished, but then I met you." Charlie's eyes widened in surprise.

"Alastor, what do you mean?"

"My dear, every time I look at you, I see my sister, dying in my arms. No matter how hard I try to make those thoughts that I thought I had left behind go away, they just come back when I look at you. I mean, just look at me now! I haven't cried like this since the night she died!" I let out a chuckled that quickly became hitched sobbing. Charlie reached a hand out, but let it fall to her side. She didn't know how to help me, and she wasn't the only one. I didn't know how to help myself either.

"Dear Charlie, I believe you are my punishment." As the words left my mouth, I felt like a great weight had lifted off of my shoulders.

I began laughing, then sobbing. I felt my knees hit the ground, and my arms wrap around my head. It had happened, I had cracked. I sat on the floor, pulling at my hair as the phantom voice if my sister filled my ears. Over and over her memory played in my head, tantalizing me.

"No...stop...stop it!" The voice became louder drowning out everything else. I thought I would drown in the despair, until a pair of thin arms wrapped around my neck, saving me from the fate.

"Alastor, I'm so sorry." Charlie's voice drifted into my ears. I felt a sudden hault to my tears.

"I had no idea you were hurting so bad. You always act so composed and at ease, I never would have guessed that you were hiding so much pain. I'm a terrible friend, I'm so sorry!" Friend. Charlie thought of me as a friend. After all of the horrible things I've done, she still had the kindness to call me a friend. I found myself laughing as I returned her hug. There was no insanity in this laugh, only relief and joy.

"No worries my dear! It's not your fault, not one bit." Charlie let her eyes rest on me, and I realized she had been crying. I quickly wiped them away out if habit. I always wiped away Abigail's tears when she cries.

"Smile my dear! It warms my heart to see smiling!" Charlie let out a chuckled and smiled. I helped her to her feet, but she held on to my hand for a moment.

"Alastor, promise you'll tell me the next time you're hurting." She gazed at me with pleading eyes. How could I say no to that face?

"I promise my dear. Now why don't we join the others." We left the kitchen, and for the first time since I saw Charlie on the picture show, I did not see Abigail. I saw only Charlie.