Secrets Until Someday

Chapter 19

"What's so funny?" She asks.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking about how many concussions you've probably given me hitting me in the head with a brush over the years." I let out a small laugh.

"You little brat." She jokes. "You're lucky you have one now or that's exactly what you would get." As we both laugh a little louder.

"Sydney..." she says slowly, "I'm worried about you, the last few weeks you haven't seemed yourself. You have been held up in this room way too much for my spunky and outgoing daughter. And then after the accident and your fight last night with Layla. I just wish you would tell me what was going on. I know I haven't always seen eye to eye on things but I'm always here for you." she continues softly brushing through the tangles.

I take a deep breath. "I...well...I, I kind of dated Brooks and then lied about it....for three years," I say, as a little bit of the weight releases off my shoulders, normally the fear of her reaction would have felt a little stronger but I'm too exhausted to care.

"That was not what I was expecting to hear, but I guess it makes sense with everything that has happened." She says caught off guard. "Your Dad and I have always loved Brooks, what made you feel like you had to lie about it? Was it Layla you were afraid of telling?"

"Yes and no, I was never afraid to tell you and Dad. I knew you guys would love it. But the Dawsons have different rules, they don't allow Brooks or Layla to date anyone in each other's class, especially not someone like me. I'm a little too straightforward and not quite enough straight-laced for their liking." I confess to my mom, shame floating its way to the surface at the way the Dawsons have always made me feel.

"Yeah, those Dawsons have always had their rules..." she pauses, "seems kind of stupid if you ask me." 

Surprise and relief fill my chest. I was expecting an I told you so or a why don't you think before you act Sydney Elizabeth..."But because we lied, Layla found out by seeing us kiss in the parking lot the night of my accident. I was going after her to explain." 

She laid the brush down and I placed my head in her lap. "Now everything is all screwed up and Layla might never speak to me again."

She begins running her fingers through my hair, caressing my scalp. Between that and the meds, I'm finally getting relief from my dizziness and headache. "That's not a great situation. I'm pretty disappointed in you for lying to your father and me, and your friend but I can't say that I don't understand."

Confusion creases my brow, "What exactly does that mean?" I question.

She begins, "His name was Alan, he had blonde hair and blue eyes. He came from the wrong side of the tracks and I thought he was everything but it turned out I was not much of anything to him. Long story short, your grandparents did not approve but I did not care. We snuck around and I ruined their trust and many friendships for that boy and in the end, he left me for some red-headed crazy chick that was about 4'11". " She frowns at the memory. "So I understand when the feelings are so strong that you will give up anything to be with someone but what you have to remember is, yes, you may be getting to enjoy the feelings that you have about this person but are you getting those feelings back in return?" She continues, "Sometimes we get so wrapped up in how we feel about someone that we forget to notice how they feel about us. How they show us that they want us and not just by the words that a charming boy may say but by their actions. " 

I didn't say anything I was too wrapped up in all the thoughts rushing through my head. It's weird to think that my mom had a life before my dad, it's not like I didn't know she was a teenager once but hearing about her experience seems like I've been let in on a little secret.