Secrets Until Someday

Chapter 31

Sydney's POV

As Brooks disappeared down my driveway my heart ached in my chest. It felt like my core center has been ripped in half, part leaving in that Chevy pickup truck and a piece here within my body anxious for the rest of it to be returned and make me whole again.
My chest glows and my cheeks fill with a pink hue thinking back to the time we spent together. The relief I felt of him spending time with his parents and they didn't miraculously convince him to disappear on me.

The fact we went on an actual date this afternoon, the way he opened the door for me, and looked at me across the table at the restaurant like I was the only person he could see. The way we laughed, his eyes shined bright as he smiled taking in all of the words tumbling out of my mouth like they normally do, quickly and loudly. Even in a room full of people, our attention was like a tether ball bouncing back and forth between us, never acknowledging anyone else in its vicinity.

    All afternoon an indescribable pull of friction sparked between our bodies, no matter what we were doing, talking, eating, walking, always hyper-aware of each other. We immersed ourselves in every touch and glance. It brought a smile to my face, a slight shake to my hands, a glow in my chest, a pit in my stomach, and a tingle to my skin. I felt like my body could shine or combust just being near him. I've loved Brooks for a long time, always having reservations about truly accepting it but now it feels different. Being able to be with him in a relationship is the most real thing I've ever felt. He finally picked me and the someday he always talked about seems like it could be within reach.

    The fear still bubbles to the back of my throat of all the things that could still happen, all the ways I could still get my heart broken but I push it back down, remembering this weekend and the way he looked at me, seeing through it all that happiness he makes me feel.

***

    The months rushed by as I was consumed with my love bubble of bliss even with Brooks being hours away most of the time. I can't believe that the holidays are already over and we're getting ready to head back to school after Christmas break.

We finished our football season this year with a Regional victory followed by a very ugly Semi-State loss. Our boys are good but when you put up a small school like ours against a big school like Middlebury you don't have much chance.  The guys were bummed about it for a day then decided to start sinking their attention into whatever sport they were playing next. Sam and Luke went straight to baseball conditioning, Clay ran for the track team and Riley to basketball.

 
Maddie and Riley have something going on but no one has quite figured it out yet. They consume each other with their attention, tuck themselves away in the corner of parities or our lunch table whispering and talking but no one has seen them hold hands or kiss. Every time we ask we typically just get a blushed eye roll from Maddie saying they are friends or a nervous laugh from Riley that he uh...is....just...uh... and we usually just put him out of his misery before he finishes the sentence. 

Layla's rules have only become stricter over the last few weeks. She's not allowed to go to the lake house, she's not allowed to be out past 8:30 pm on school nights and if she does anything on the weekends she usually has to lie to her parents if she's coming to hang out with us. Kelsey has been coming with her to hang out and Quinn and I can't say we haven't noticed the way she lights up at the sight of her. But we still haven't worked up the nerve to ask her about it, Layla's always been pretty private about things so we're just waiting for her to bring it up.

Quinn and Sam, like I suspected they would, made up the very next morning after their big fight when she woke up early and left my house to go to his. She never gave me a lot of detail about their conversation but I do know they have scheduled a campus visit to Urbana College... wherever the fuck that is in Ohio. I kept my mouth shut when she told me, nervously avoiding my eyes and fiddling with her hands. She knows she shouldn't let him dictate her future and I hope that she's just partaking in this crap to keep her options open. If she likes the college and thinks she'll be happy there then sure go for it! But if it's just for him then that's not okay.

My family got together for the holidays, keeping things pretty low-key. Brooks was able to come for Christmas causing another argument with his father but joining my family regardless. It hurts him to fight with his parents, I know because I can tell by the look in his eyes when he talks about it. I hate it for him but I'm still unsure of how to help other than us breaking up, which at this point may kill me.
    It's the Sunday before I head back to school and since things are on such edge with his parents Brooks has already gone back to campus.

He had such a hard time staying in his parent's house while his mom and dad were giving him the silent treatment and Layla was locked up in her room avoiding them all. I hope they can work things out I really, really do...I just wish there was a way I could help...Maybe I could try and talk to them? Tell them how much I love Brooks and I would never hold him back from pursuing his full potential, maybe then they would understand that our relationship, that me, that I'm not something to be ashamed of, and that I love their son.

An idea sparks in my head and it could make things way worse or maybe, possibly make things a lot better, not for me but for Brooks.

Brooks POV

Well, the holidays were a shit show.

The Dawson family drama has decided to move on from fighting over my girlfriend to the full-blown silent treatment. I swear on Christmas morning as Layla and I were opening our stockings, I could hear the thrumming of everyone's racing hearts the room was so quiet. I never thought I'd see my family on such edge. Even Layla, she's been acting so strange and distant from everyone hiding away in her room. She's not even the one our parents are upset with so what's her problem anyways? I kept wondering over the course of the three days I actually spent at the house over break. Luckily Thanksgiving was at Aunt Kim's so it was a little less uncomfortable with the distraction of our little cousins running wild and Uncle Jerry burning the turkey...like he does every year.
    After New Year I decided to head back to campus because I could no longer suffer in silence, except for the one yelling match my father and I got in over me leaving to go to Sydney's family holiday, he didn't speak to me at all.

I ended up just staying on the Graves couch the rest of the week because I couldn't stand to argue with him again over the same thing. Which I'm sure added fuel to the fire.

    As much as I love Sydney I couldn't sleep on that couch anymore, my body is going to permanently feel the effects of my body being scrunched up like an accordion for so many days. It was worth it to be able to see her every night before bed and every morning when she would wake me up with coffee and a kiss.

 
    I want for us to feel as comfortable around my family as we do hers, but I'm not sure how to help the situation. My parents won't listen, especially not my Dad and at this point, I'm so tired of trying to fight him on it that it's better to just avoid him.

 
    I know that he is expecting me to graduate next year and come run the family business, up until now that had always been my dream but maybe it was the only dream I thought I could have. Maybe there is something else out there that I could do beyond what my Dad has always wanted for me. If Syd ends up in Louisville for school we could start a life together here away from all the drama and at some point, my parents would have to come around, wouldn't they? I have to believe that things won't stay like this forever and I have a year to figure out what it is I actually want to do with my life on my own. Whether that's being the third generation to run Dawson Development Corp or to do something else, anything else.