Exhale

Fruitless

" 5...4...3...2...1..."

Koryn finished counting down from 10 like her therapist suggested, the shit never helped. At this point she was just doing it because it was instilled in her to do so every time her emotions tried to get the best of her. She had just received word that her husband was going to yet be late again and miss another dinner, at the rate he'd been going he might not make until well after Koryn was sleep.

Carter St. James was New York's top business manager, he had many clients on his roster and many waiting to be put on his roster. Koryn met Carter in College and they started off as good friends, he owed his entire academic career to her seeing that a lot of their classes she'd help him pass, the majority of his success was due to his gift of gab and the fact that he'd been fortunate enough to know a lot of people. After school Carter felt as if everyone would want him due to the success he knew he was soon to inhabit. He wanted someone who knew the real him before the success, and also someone who supported the dream that he was so desperately trying to chase. All the signs pointed to Koryn, so he proposed .. balls out dropped on one knee and did what they thought was something the both of them wanted/ needed. Koryn was still sure of it, she was just having a difficult time seeing so. 

Koryns  P.O.V

I sat there and watched my husband of almost 6 years as he shuffled around the room like I didn't exist, this was a normal thing for us. He'd come in and go about his life life I wasn't there, it wouldn't hurt so bad if we weren't currently in the same room. I just counted down from 10 like i was told by my therapist and the shit didn't work I wanted to explode, I wanted to cry I wanted to knock his ass right out. 

"Hello Carter" I said half wanting to because I knew the type of response I would receive. " What's up" he said not looking up from his recent task of picking something out the drawer to change into. Silently I rolled my eyes and sat at my vanity continuing to brush through my hair wet from my shower "how was work?" I asked not really knowing why, I guess its my attempt to be normal.  He blew out a breath, "Fine K, what is it ? you need something? I'm stressed out I got so much to do for one client, and tons to do for the rest I am not in the mood for this dry ass small talk you try and do everyday"  He said looking at me through the mirror of my vanity with an annoyed expression. I stayed silent not daring to turn around to meet the very gaze that makes me feel worthless, I continued to brush my hair as he strolled into the bathroom and closed the door. As I found my undergarments and lounge clothes I let a tear or two fall before going downstairs. 

This was a constant interaction between us, I used to be his bestfriend and confident, now i might as well be his enemy . I feel like he hates me, he acts like I'm on the right track with my thought process. I opened the fridge searching for what had become my bestfriend, I grabbed my favorite dark red wine and my biggest glass and poured a nice fixing. Carter descended the stairs and i heard his Gucci house shoes gliding across the marble, he made his way towards the kitchen and scoffed at the sight. "You Know" he started as he I opened the fridge "If you spend a little less time drinking that and a little more drinking water you'd start to look more like who you're supposed to be.. and who I deserve" he mumbled under his breath but not low enough.

Tf is he talking about, I drink water I exercise 6x a week and because of him I barely eat . I looked across The barstool and caught glimpse of myself in a mirror that was hanging adjacent to me across the room. I slowly walked over holding my glass as I approached upon Arrival I saw everything he did. I was over weight I wasn't that pretty and most of all I was pathetic and sad. The tears i tried to keep at bay came pouring down, I'm so sick of this there's not much I can do I'm stuck here I dont have anything or any one to fall back on. I was really an idiot and i started to see that this is why Carter felt this way.