Winning Hurricane

XXXIX- Paresthesia

My heart was beating so fast from walking-running nang makapasok ako.. but that's all..that's everything I felt. Pagod lang.

"Here," Cy handed me his hanky. Inabot ko lamang yon at tahimik na pinahiran ang pawis ko.

"He's there again?" tumango lamang ako sa tanong niya. "Hindi ko nakita, sorry. I tried talking to him naman—"

"Can we not talk about him? Wala talaga akong pakielam." I asked stolidly. He blinked twice before nodding, lips partly opened.

We waited for Janella, hingal na hingal siyang pumasok sa kotse. "Gosh! Hindi nalang ako sa sex hinihingal ngayon kairita!"

Cy laughed at her remark before driving off.

"Mukhang zombie ex mo pero crush ko padin, okay?"

Hindi ako sumagot. Mukhang naramdaman naman ni Janella na ayoko talagang pag-usapan kaya iniba nalang niya ang topic. They just ranted about third year and how they missed partying. I just silently listened as I wonder when this miserable feeling of being so empty.. so drain.. will change.

The car stopped the same time my phone pinged. We just arrived sa coffeeshop.

"Hey, let's go."

I looked at Cy and Janella before nodding my head, "Una na kayo."

Janella just shrugged before leaving the car habang mukhang nagda dalawang isip pa si Cy. I rolled my eyes, "Cy."

"Okay, okay."

He glanced at my phone before stepping out the car. Binuksan ko naman ang message.. actually, ayoko sana.. but it's from her.

Can we talk? Maybe tomorrow, 7 pm?

**

Seven in the evening I'm already inside Tim's. I didn't order anything, wala akong planong mag-tagal. I'll just let her say her piece and then I'll go. Marami pa akong quizzes.. mas marami pa akong importanteng bagay na gagawin..

I shouldn't be here.. but damn me, right?

Damn me for being here.

I was just staring at the empty seat in front of me when she sat there. Her eyes were not as dead as mine, there's still a glint of something inside those orbs.

"Chandy.." her soft voice called.

I am now face to face with the woman he loved. The woman who he claims to be always there.. in his present.. the one who will never be in his past..

I am now face to face with the woman who proclaimed her unrequited love and whom he kissed in return.

I am now staring at his girl bestfriend.

I tried trusting them.. I tried fixing my attitude yet in the end they still betrayed me.

"Chandy.." she called again.

"I don't have much time. Just say ..whatever you want to say." My face was stoic, voice bare of any emotion as I said those words.

"I'm.. I'm really sorry.. I really do, maiintindihan ko.." then her eyes tear up. "Maiintindihan ko na hindi mo ako mapapatawad agad.. I know.. I.. I shouldn't have said those words knowing he already has you."

I remained silent, nakatingin lamang sa kanya.

"We were.. we loved each other. It was mutual before but Hurri, he's too coward."

It even sound worse na he didn't take the risk with her because he was so afraid of losing her but he took the risk with me.. it feels like he took the risk kasi he can lose me?