I Died Because I Wasn't Strong Enough.

Chapter Two: EDITED

||updated date 06.03.12|| - this book has been edited by@bsilda and re-writen.

CHAPTER TWO

I thought everything would be perfect, I thought it would be like other families minus the father of course but sometimes I hope that my mother would stop working so much and just find someone that could take care of us but no, she had us and that was enough for her and I highly respected her for that. 

You know that feeling? when you thought everything is going to be perfect and it’s all going your way and all then suddenly it hits you when you least expect it? Yeah that was what happens to me. 

So, how should I say this? Hmmmm. I had a perfect life without my father. My mother was a fairytale and we have been running from my father and his family and then

BAM BAM BOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

It was like lightning strike, while I was turning out to be my mother, you know, all fairytale. My sister turned out to be something else, she turned out to be like those people, who we have been running away from and my mother was terrified and so she did something I never thought she would but she did. 

One day she was happy and all just over night she turned into them, she turn heartless and it broke me, how could someone as stronger as my mother break down easily. I saw how she changes and I swore on that day I would never be like them, like her. I won’t give up even when the thing I care most turned out to be my greatest fear. 

Well, what happen next? my mother stop running and my Chinese family accepted us because we were rich but my sister and I still hadn’t got the chance to be with our father because we were scared of him because of the stories my mother used o tell us. 

So this is where it all started and if I was alive right I would tell this part with a faded smirk like I am having on now as I write this.

So, I was fat. I was HUGE and my own family made fun of me, they called me names, even my sister was one of them and my mother didn’t do anything about it, because all she mattered was to be accepted!

People out there die of suicide because they were bullied I was only 5 and my OWN FAMILY hate me! Made fun of me! And I did what I thought was best; I shut the hell up and took it all in, and they never stop they just kept on coming. They thought I was strong! They thought I could handle it and I was and I did! 

Years later, I move farther from my Chinese family and I was happy because I didn’t have to bother about them anymore. But I never forgot about my sister, she would still continue to make fun of me in front of my friends and hers, and at home when I didn’t do what she wasn’t she would hit me and everyday when it was time for a shower I would open my shirt and stare at the mirror at all the scars on me. 

They never stop and I never complained. I just kept quiet and hold it all in. it was madness other people be dead now if they were me if they weren’t strong but I was strong, I just wasn’t strong enough. 

I used to be my mother’s favorite because I was the youngest but when she change my god, I was always the reason for all the things she had done wrong, she would blame me for something she had done, she would blame me for something my sister had done and only because she knew I wouldn’t talk back I wouldn’t fight. I didn’t because I thought she would love me more but I guess I was too stupid to think at that time. 

I was use-less I wasn’t like my sister, she was good at everything and I wasn’t. I was always at the back of the class I never pass any subjects ANY!! NEVER!!!! My mother had to pay the school so that they wouldn’t make me stay the grade because it would only be too embarrassment to have a child to repeat a grade, especially when you are a Chinese.

I was dyslexic and my mother didn’t know it because she was never there, she was only there if I didn’t something wrong. Hell!!! My maid was always the one that went for my parent’s teacher meeting because she was to embarrass of me. I didn’t learn to read until I was twelve and that was the first year of my high school. 

But high school is for another day to tell about, I want you people to know how I lived my childhood. 

I still remember every torture my mother had me done and it has scared me for life. But I had never cried not even once. I never let them see even a drop of tear from me because they need to know I was strong and I needed to know as well. They weren’t strong that’s why they did this to me but I was, I was not only strong for myself, I had to be strong for them. That’s too much responsibility for GIRL at the age of eight.