And Then She Was Gone

Goodbye Alex

"I wasn't fussing." She said timidly a pink color depositing on her cheeks, clearly unable to ignore his compliment.

She took a lean against the vehicle since she was currently being barred from passing by his solid iron like arm drawn across. "Are you going to let me through? I need to get some stuff before I head out." her arms crossing and one hand lazily gesturing towards the store.

"Stuff like..." he said quickly delving into his black cargo pants, and the many pockets within to begin producing an assortment of random items. "This?"

A smile erupted on her face as she looked at his hands full of all the things she was planning to grab: two energy drinks, a bag of spicy nacho doritos, orbits sweet mint gum, a large diet coke and several bags of candy some chocolate and some fruity, all being held with a light strain in his two large hands.

With a laugh she slapped his chest playfully and began to collect the items, "How do you know me so well?"

"How many times have we done late night drives to this place?" he grinned, obviously proud of his memory recall, flicking his head back to persuade his light brown hair to discontinue the ever so persistent obstruction of his vision. "The only thing I wasn't clear on was the candy, so I just got some of everything in case you were in the mood for something specific."

"No, this is perfect. Thank you." She said sheepishly opening the car door and throwing it all in her purse save for an energy drink which she deposited into the cup holder.

"Consider it as a parting gift." he said back, a warm smile still plastered on his face as he walked over to the pump pulling out his wallet and sliding a card into the reader.

"What are you doing? I can pay for my own gas, you know!" she said in frustration, following at his heels while he blatantly ignored her, opening the gas lid and removing the pump handle so he could begin to fill her tank.

"So you still want to go?" he said looking down at the handle as it was engaged with the tank, his eyes fluttering over to her briefly before returning them to device.

"Yes, I still want to go." she responded with a sigh, feeling like she's already had this same conversation a million of times.

"I'm going to miss you, you know." he muttered,his normally carefree and charismatic voice sounding a little deflated.

She felt a small pang, tugging at her heartstrings as he said those words. She had thought about this journey for as long as she could remember. Working as early as child labor laws would allow to squirrel and ferret away all her money into savings to go towards this precise moment. Sticking so incredibly close to her studies, not allowing herself anything lower than an A in all her courses stretching from grade school throughout college. She needed to be extremely rigid and strict with herself, a trait undoubtedly picked up from her Uncle, in order to get to this point.

In order for her to gain any semblance of freedom, she had to remain tightly bound to the firm guidelines she had placed upon herself. Had she faltered or shown any spot of weakness, it would have been highlighted as  all the ammunition needed for her Uncle  to argue that this was something beyond what she was capable of doing. So she went above and beyond to show she was a responsible young woman, and because of that, no argument could be made against her ability to set out on her own.

Of course, there were some minor slips here and there, and Alex was one of those slips. As much as she tried to be direct with him about her need for exploration and the commitment it took in order to obtain it, she still found her way coming back to him, time and time again.. Letting him up and then letting him down, something she felt incredible guilt for.