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Nini ran as fast as she could when she read his text. With a water bottle and without shoes, she got inside the car. He was pale, shaking and sobbing. If she didn't knock on the window before entering, he wouldn't even hear her.
"Baby, what happened? Did you get into an accident?" she asked. She was trying to sound as calm as she could, but seeing him like that, desperation was the only feeling she could possibly feel. She grabbed one of his hands that was scratching his arm. Everytime he had these types of breakdowns, he would unconsciously hurt his arms, she learnt over the years how to stop it. So she started to do small circles with her thumbs, slowly intertwining their hands. His head was on the week, trying to calm himself down.
"I- I don't- I was driving-then the food. Now- I can't breath, Neens." he sobbed. She pushed him softly so his back was leaning to the seat. She put her free hand on his chest, while breathing out loud, making him copy her. Ricky put his hand on top of hers. 20 minutes later, they were on the back seat listening to slow music. He was laying on the window with his legs on top of her lap.
"I'm sorry." his first words without being interrupted by the lack of air, or the tears.
"Don't apologize, Ricky. I'm glad I could help and that you're okay." she said. He moved so he could sit next to her. He looked at her, she had tears on her eyes and he felt guilty. He was calm now, but the tears were streaming down his face, but he didn't realize that.
"Why do I keep hurting you?" he stated. He broke the eye contact and looked at his lap. "I keep fucking everything up, I'm the worst boyfriend in the world. You deserve so much more, Neens. I'm not even going to try to convince you that I'm worth it, because I'm not. You are. You are next to me, calming me down when I cheated on you-" "We weren't together back then, Ricky. You didn't cheat."
"Yeah, but I was a terrible person" They both fell into silence for a couple of minutes, trying to stop their tears. Nini was the one to break the silence.
"I know you don't own me an explanation, but can you tell me what happened? I really just want to move on from this and sleep." she said, looking down. He felt his heart break when he heard move on from this. She wants to move on from him. He shook that thought away and started to relate what happened that night.
"I was on a couch, alone. Benjamin told me to wait there because he had to talk to her manager and post the tweets. I was drinking, I got a little tipsy but I was going home in a couple of minutes and I didn't have my phone so I kept going. She sat down next to me, started to talk. I have no idea about what because I wasn't listening, I just wanted to go home and sleep. Then she started to get may too touchy and I asked her to leave tee alone. I don't know how but we ended talking about you and us. I told her what was happening and I got mad. I got toad at myself because I knew I wanted to be with you, that I want to be with you, but I let you go and felt like I was losing you. Next thing I know she is kissing me and I just stood there. I didn't move, or kiss her back, I just- I stayed there. All I think about was how you were a better kisser than her, and then how much I missed you, and then I reacted and broke the kiss. It didn't last more than 15 seconds, I swear. Benji arrived before I even got the chance to tell her to back off and leave us alone. Then I went home and fell asleep, I saw your text when I woke up and my whole mood changed. She tried to contact me. I only talked with her once. I can show you the texts. I don't know why I didn't tell you the truth, I guess I was scared that you were going to break everything between us because of it. Which now sound dumb because lies don't last long." he finished saying. He looked at her, she was unreadable. She nodded and fell into silence again.
