A Rebellious Moon

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Amanda raced up to her room and slammed the door. Immediately after, she regretted her actions, feeling very much like a little girl being denied candy at the grocery store. She sat down on her bed and tried to sort through her thoughts. A swirl of emotions raged around in her body. She was bothered that Devon showed up now to claim her as his mate when he had rejected her so devastatingly before. Suspicion of his motives shadowed her mind as well. Devon had been rather cagey when she tried to ask him about the pack in Ohio and how everyone was doing. She felt unsure what direction to take with regards to her lingering feelings for him.

Thoughts of Chase came into play as well. Usually, he was very respectful of her feelings and let her plot the course of their relationship. She had been quite taken aback at his forcefulness and protectiveness in the kitchen. Part of her wanted to scream at him for stepping into her fight, but another part wanted to swoon for how hot he was defending her. She knew that Chase held back on many occasions to avoid being overbearing, but that wall had disappeared in the kitchen and she wasn't sure how to move forward with him, either.

Finally, she was ashamed of herself. First, for not confronting Devon on his motivations when she first saw him in the coffee shop, and second, for not being upfront and honest with Chase that a mate-bond lingered between her and Devon. If she had done either of those then they wouldn't have reached the tipping point today. Amanda sighed deeply.

A soft knock on the door interrupted her pity party. Not willing to rise from the bed, Amanda called out, "Who is it?"

Without a response, the door opened revealing Chase. "Hey, can we talk?"

Amanda studied his face while she tried to control her emotions. "Yeah, sure. Come on in." She winced at the unsteadiness in her voice.

Chase walked towards the bed, hesitated, and then turned to the nearest chair. He swung the chair around to face the bed and then sat down slowly. At first, he leaned back, but after fidgeting a bit, he leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands.

During this, Amanda stayed still on the bed her eyes following each of his movements. Once he leaned forward and seemed to settle, she allowed herself to slump, only realizing then that her back had been ramrod straight from the moment he knocked.

After a few moments of awkward silent, Chase spoke first. "I wanted to apologize to you for how things went down in the kitchen. That was very childish of me to engage in a yelling match with Devon. He had been increasingly getting on my nerves, blaming me for you fainting, and he brought up the hunter, and then he started telling me I shouldn't even be an alpha. I thought I was holding it together pretty well, but then Devon had the audacity to order you around and I just lost it. As the alpha I should have had better control over my emotions and kept my cool. I'm sorry."

Amanda tilted her head. "Um...I'm not exactly sure what you think you're apologizing for. What you should be apologizing for is not letting me handle Devon. I know I fainted and was still feeling a bit out of it, but that was my battle to fight and you just railroaded right over me." Amanda could tell that her tone was starting to creep into whining territory, but she didn't particularly care at the moment.

Chase sat up straighter in his chair. "I know that is our typical arrangement, Amanda, but I am a pack alpha. I have a naturally dominant personality as well as a duty to protect my pack. Even if you don't think of it this way, I and everyone else consider you part of our pack. When I felt you were being threatened, I stepped in." He took a deep breath. "Also, he claimed you were mates. I understand in the past that this was true and I know that you haven't fully accepted me, but I could not put up with that nonsense. When he challenged me, I had to accept."

Amanda clenched her jaw and swallowed. "I may be at fault for that and I should really be apologizing to you. I think because I haven't made up my mind what I want for my future, my pheromones are still recognizing Devon as an option. I'm sorry. I should've told you sooner."

Chase looked crestfallen. "Yes. You should have. I know that I am just a factor in your decision...but I hoped that the others in the pack were as well. I think I am more hurt by the knowledge that we don't mean as much to you as I thought we did."

"No! That's not true. Everyone here has been so wonderful to me and that has really meant so much. But, as you know, I've been locked into a track for so long. Coming to DC for college was a dream that I never thought would come true. When my father let me come here, I vowed to make the best of four years and then return to Ohio satisfied. Now that there are other options, my brain is having trouble processing what I should do. This freedom is too new." Amanda was pleading by the end.

Chase nodded. "I know, I know. Previously, this wasn't a problem. Now you need to make some sort of decision. If you think that you want to go home and..." A shudder passed through him. "...be with Devon instead, I will concede the duel." He licked his lips before continuing. "But if you are done with him, I think he will still not go without a fight."

Amanda nodded her understanding and looked down at her hands in her lap. She pursed her lips then voiced her resolution, "I don't want to be with Devon. Too much has happened that has caused me to lose faith in him. He's not the person I thought he was. Honestly, I don't think I ever knew him, I just liked the idea of him. The day he arrived, I should have told him to leave, but I was too scared of letting go. Now I've hurt you and the pack by my selfishness and immaturity." She felt tears well in her eyes.

Chase moved from the chair to sit next to her on the bed and took her hands in his. "Hey, don't cry. You aren't selfish or immature. Everyone gets scared and uncomfortable about confronting our pasts and making choices about the future. We can fix this together. Devon will be sent on his way and then we'll tackle the hunter. Farah's intel has helped me pick up some good leads on that as well."

Amanda gave him a weak smile. "All in time to graduate."

Chase laughed. "Exactly." He kissed her on the top of the head. "Why don't you rest some more, okay?"

Amanda nodded and flipped her feet into the bed. As Chase turned out the light, a thought hit her. "You won't kill Devon, right?"

Chase smiled. "Not if I don't have to."

Amanda frowned, but nodded. She had no idea what Devon's plan was anyway. Then another thought came. "Please don't tell the pack all about this."

Chase nodded. "What they don't know, can't hurt them. Now, sleep. The duel won't be until tomorrow anyway. I'll send Jade or Brooke up to check on you in a little bit."

"Thank you," Amanda called as he closed the door. She snuggled back into her bed and lay on her back staring at the ceiling. Her discussion with Chase had settled some of her anxiety, but still her mind swirled. She sighed. Lunch had yet to start and already too much had happened today.

Author's Note:

There were a lot of emotions in this chapter, but I think Chase and Amanda needed to have a heart to heart about the situation.

Did you pick up on how they were feeling and when it changed during the conversation?

Amanda finally rejects Devon here (about thirty chapters after he rejects her), but I thought it was appropriate that she does it to Chase rather than Devon himself.

What do you think about how that played out?

Do you think that Amanda should choose Chase or do you think she should find a new options?

Thank you for reading! I'm glad you're enjoying my story enough that you made it here with me. Please comment and vote as well!