we fell in love. | hwang hyunjin

08

i laid underneath the covers, covering my body so that the boy next to me couldn't see me in my current state. i wasn't sure what caused myself to feel so anxious all of a sudden. i was stressed all day but i was handling it. talk about a whole study session at the library. the essay i was working on only needed about 200 more words to meet the minimum word count and i was pushing through.

but then suddenly, it was as if all composure i had was crumbling, like i was slowly losing control of my emotions. i felt dizzy and my breathing picked up. my first instinct was to get up and move but i didn't want hyunjin to notice my change in demeanour. instead, i let my shaky fingers close my laptop slowly and put it aside before i let my body slide downing the bed.

"i'm going to bed," i tried to keep my voice steady as i pulled the cover over my head.

"okay, goodnight," his warm voice did nothing to make me feel better. damn. so instead, i held my hands to my lips, trying to calm my breathing as i felt cold flashes run from the top of my head to my neck.

"y/n," i tensed up as i felt hyunjin's hand rest on my shoulder, "you're shaking....are you okay?" he asked.

i couldn't find the words to reply to him and before i could try to prevent it, hot tears were spilling down my cheeks and small sobs left my lips. yeah it sucks to be me.

let me get this straight. hyunjin and i were just roommates an hour ago and now here i am in his room on his bed trying so hard not to break down. i'm not used to this.. i've only handled things on my own when i was of course, in my own room. but now i'm with him and it's just strange to have someone there with you. what if he thinks i'm a freak or something? what if he doesn't want to be with me after this? that's what i thought.

"i don't.. i don't like this.. i don't want to feel like this," my body curled up and i felt shifting from next to me. my eyes shut tightly as a wave of emotions crashed over me. everything was overwhelming and i was scared but then i felt hyunjin's body gently pressing up against mine. his arms wrapped carefully around my frame and his head rested atop my shoulder.

"i got you," his voice was barely above a whisper but hearing those words, i couldn't help but turn around, letting my arms encircle his torso and my face bury itself into his hoodie. we both stayed like that, not saying anything as my body slowly regained control.

hyunjin rubbed comforting circles against my back and pressed little kisses on the top of my head. i've never.. felt this before. several minutes passed until my breathing was finally regular again. my head still was a bit light but i felt better.

"i can hear your heartbeat," my voice was quiet against his chest but he still caught it.

"you can?" he ran his fingers through my hair.

"yeah, it's a little calming," i nodded before pulling away to wipe my cheeks of its tears.

"i'm glad," hyunjin smiled down at me, feeling relieved that he was able to give me some sort of comfort. my gaze caught his and for a second i just stared at his inviting expression.

"um," i blinked, remembering the situation i was just in, "sorry about this i don't know what came over me and i didn't-"

"hey, hey" he softly interrupted, "you don't have to explain. it's okay."

my eyes scanned his face, watching as he looked down at me with so much love in his eyes.

"can i kiss you?" he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ears, before waiting for my response. with a small nod from me, hyunjin leaned forward, kissing me softly. his lips moved against mine gently, as if he was afraid to go too far.

i felt my heartbeat racing as he continued kissing me lovingly, but this time, rather than dreading the feeling, i welcomed it, feeling only comfort and love washing over me.

i never thought we'd come to this. from strangers, to friends, to roommates, to lovers. it sounds too good to be true. and well, i mean what could go wrong right? oh i was so wrong to think that nothing could possible go wrong.