Happy Place || A Jerrie Fanfiction

XV - YOUR BURDENS ARE MINE AS WELL

When in reality, she's completely different to what I expected her as.

I draw my eyebrows together in a frown. "It was a joke."

Of course, that was a lie.

In that moment, I was confused and nettled and crossed for reasons I can't even remember anymore nor do I even want to remember them. But there's no way in hell I'm telling her that, not when I know it would upset the woman; not when I know upsetting her would potentially upset me, too.

"It was just a joke. You were too annoying, you know," I say in a lighthearted manner, and even punctuated it with a giggle. But seeing a tinge of hurt cross Perrie's features made me think that I used the wrong choice of words. And so I quickly add austerely, "Again, that was a joke."

She hums in thought. "You should play comedy next time. You're funny."

My smile quickly vanished. Her sarcasm seems to make me feel uncomfortable now.

I immediately shake my head, my knuckles turning white as I grip my knees tightly. "Perrie, I didn't mean . . ."

She cuts me off with a small smile and a soft nudge on my shoulder. "I'm just joking, Jade Thirlwall. We should go. Caitlyn needs to do her homework—if she even has any like she claims."

X X X

It took more or less fifteen minutes to get to Perrie's house, but with the awkward tension hovering around us coupled with silence, it seems like it's been excruciatingly longer than that.

Perrie was studiously avoiding me, much to my chagrin. And it is so obvious because she was blatantly trying not to walk beside me and instead had the audacity to place Caitlyn between us as if the kid plays a role as a wall.

And it's not even just that that grated me, it was the fact that she acts innocent about all of this! And I genuinely abhor this feeling of guilt of offending her, only for it to come back and slap me in the face the moment Perrie chooses to not acknowledge what happened awhile ago.

And if the universe really hated me so much, my mind kept wandering back to that freaking moment.

I close my eyes tight and take in a deep breath, trying to purge myself of that stupid feeling whenever I think about it. The butterflies in my stomach, the electric spark flowing head to toe from Perrie's touch , the warm feeling that her body emanates that blanketed me.

"Jade Thirlwall, you okay?"

My eyes snap open when I hear her soft voice as she gently closes the door and sits down beside me on the doorstep. Suddenly, my senses have heightened and that warm, fuzzy feeling engulfs my whole being. Instinctively, I slightly move away, leaving an acceptable amount of space between us.

"Yup," I answer her.

"Do you wanna eat dinner with us inside or . . . ?" she drawls out.

I roll my lower lip between my teeth, considering her offer. Then I shake my head and stand up, facing her questioning gaze. "I actually have to go."

She stands up as well, and once again I take a step back to leave space between us. "Can I walk you?"

"Nope." I shake my head almost energetically I fear I might rip it off from the force. "I'm good. I know my way to the hotel — I'll walk by myself."

"It's really no trouble," she reassures me, gesturing behind her at the door. "Caitlyn's fine on her own, anyway—"

"Perrie, it's honestly all right," I say rather forcefully instead of reassuringly. "I didn't want to impose any further. I'm good."

Perrie hasn't responded yet. But her blue eyes are holding so many thoughts within them and I'm afraid I don't have the capability to distinguish what she's really thinking as of this moment. Then they softened their gaze afterwards.

"I'm walking you," she tells me in that finalizing tone and walks around me toward the polished stony path outside the gate of the house.

I sigh and catch up to her. "Perrie—"

"Jade Thirlwall, I don't like repeating myself because I'm a forgetful person. So keep this in mind—it's dangerous walking by yourself, especially at night. Especially when you're famous and have stalkers."

"Then what about you?" I challenge, gesturing at our surroundings. At the darkened place illuminated by the moonlight which doesn't do much, really. "You'll walk me home safely, then what? You'll be by yourself, too."

She gives me a sideway glance before looking in front again. "I know this place like the back of my hand, Jade Thirlwall. You, on the other hand, do not."

I bit back whatever silly reason I wanted to throw her way. She's right, though. I've walked from Perrie's house to my hotel and I was with Perrie all the time. And it's been two weeks but even until now, I still don't memorize the path. In fact, if I were to be honest, the only reason why I told her I'd walk by myself was so that I can clear my head from whatever thoughts had pervaded my brain that included the one and only Perrie Edwards.

Silence reigned, and for some reason, I had this earth-shattering urge to question her motives when a thought runs through my head.

"Perrie, are you worried about me?" I inquire her, pressing my lips tightly to stave off a smile I'm sure would split my face open.

She shrugs. "Make of it as you wish. I just want you safe."

My heart stutters inadvertently at the last sentence, but I pay it no mind. Perrie's body looked stiff beside me, almost guarded. And I couldn't tell if it's because she basically admitted to fretting over me or because of the fact that I'm staring intently at her.

I shrug and opt to tease her regardless. "If you don't want this night to end, you could've just said so, you know."

"Wrong. I want this night to end so badly," she divulges.

Stunned, I question her, "Then why did you choose to walk me?"

"Because I won't be able to live with myself if I didn't."

I arch an eyebrow at her ambiguity. "And what does that mean?"

"It means—" Perrie starts, halting her footsteps and prompting me to halt as well to look back at her. Her ocean blue orbs were refracting the moonlight, and her blonde waves fly behind with the cool breeze. "It means that I care about you more than I'd like to admit, Jade Thirlwall."

My whole body froze at the words that absconded from her lips. My eyes wide open in stunned surprise. I opened my mouth, then closed it, unsure of what to say. My brain stutters for a moment as I wrack it for words.

When nothing seems to come out of my mouth, Perrie snorts and chuckles. "I love how you have no idea what to say. I tend to make people speechless sometimes."

Again, nothing comes out from my mouth.

Perrie merely shakes her head and slips a hand in mine, pulling me along as we start to walk.

And I wordlessly follow her.

a/n: omg jadeeee!!!! HAHA