With that the friends parted ways. Sirius made his way to Muggle Studies being alone for the first time since last night. The reality of what had happened was suddenly overwhelming to him. Was it even possible to enjoy something so much a still be straight. If it had been a girl up there on the astronomy tower with him, would he still have felt the same. His thoughts were so flooded, that when he felt a light tap on his shoulder he jumped.
"Sorry didn't mean to scare you." An apologetic Lily Evans said smiling up at him.
"It's alright" Sirius said rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Just a bit jumpy today"
"Yeah I am sure you are" she said with a chuckle reaching into her book bag and pulling out a small contain full of a skin colour liquid "here for you" she said passing the container to Sirius.
"What is it?" He asked lifting it up to his eye line, and surveying it. It seemed to have a stick which plunged down the middle.
"Concealer, it's a muggle thing" She said smiling "it'll help hide those marks on your neck."
Sirius blushed and looked down at the ground.
"Merlin did the whole school see them?" Sirius asked.
"James wasn't exactly quiet about it." Lily said smiling reassuringly "and he gave me the whole run down about a minute ago. Seems after your detention with Remus you went off with some girl."
"That's what people are saying" Sirius said trying to brush it off as he applied the liquid to his neck in large strokes.
"Give me that" She said grabbing the concealer out of his hand "you just need a little on the marks and then you blend it in. It isn't magic so if you get wet it'll run and you'll need to reapply."
"Thanks" he muttered as she gently rubbed the formula into his skin.
"The thing is. After the feast I wanted help with my Defence Against the Dark Arts homework. This essay on Hodag is really rough. Anyways I went looking for Remus' help, I even waited up for him to return from detention. But eventually I just assumed you dragged him along on some prank and went to bad."
Sirius was Frozen now. He wasn't ready for this , wasn't ready to talk about it. Admit were he'd really been last night. Lily however wasn't looking at him she was still applying the liquid to his neck. He tried wildly to think of an excuse or a cover but before he could Lily spoke again.
"He is not an experiment. He isn't some guy you can just let kiss your neck and then push away. He is your friend. The same Remus who has done half your homework for you since second year. The same Remus who wrote you letters everyday you were at your parents home cause he knew how lonely you got. The same Remus-"
"I am well aware which Remus we are discussing" Sirius said a little harshly but it didn't seem to bother Lily. The truth was hearing all the ways Remus had always cared for him, the ways Remus had been his friend, hurt a little. It hurt cause Sirius knew that this kind, sweet, beautiful boy deserved better. Deserved better than Sirius confusion, his skepticism, his fear, ultimately he deserved better than Sirius.
"Don't hurt him" Lily said finally finishing on Sirius neck, pulling away, and passing the bottle to him.
"I really don't want to" was all Sirius could manage as a reply. It seemed to satisfy Lily who smiled and said.
"I better get to class" she said "keep the bottle."
"Thanks" Sirius muttered. Heading to his muggle studies class. Sirius usually did well in his courses but he wasn't always focused in class. But most of the time that was because he and James were pulling pranks, or chatting. Today though it was totally different. Not a word that the professor said entered his brain. He just sat there staring ahead and letting Lily's words replay in his head. Sirius had spent so much time wondering if he had been attracted to Remus, if he could like boys. He hadn't thought about what would happen if he wasn't. How it would feel for Remus. Merlin he had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts he hadn't wondered how Remus felt at all. This put a huge pit in his stomach cause he knew Remus was constantly worried about how Sirius felt. He resolved to talk to him, after Quidditch practice.
Part Sixteen
Start from the beginning
