Secrets Until Someday

Chapter 13

    His face instantly gets pale, and he begins stuttering his words..... "I... um... I... I have prom figured out. It won't be a big deal. I mean we can live our lives and still stay connected. I'm not telling you not to date, but when the time comes and we can be together we will or at least give it a real try."

    I can tell he is keeping something from me. We started this conversation off and he was so sure, so convinced that I was what he wanted. Now he seems shaken, a little more held back, and maybe nervous. 

 I don't know but I can't lose him. It feels too good when we are together. He says he wants this too, we just can't have it fully right now, so maybe I just need to trust him. As much as my internal radar is firing off I forcefully ignore it. 

I reach over and grab his hand. "We will find a way, I believe you. I want that too, I don't want you to forget about me and I don't ever want to forget about you." I lean over and plant a kiss on his lips.

    He takes me back to Quinn's just after midnight. As she and I sneak our way back into the house we change into our pj's and recap both of our late-night escapades.

April (the week before Prom)

    Things with Brooks have been off the last few weeks since our conversation in the church parking lot. He's been busy and distracted. If it wasn't for the continuing notes I have had showing up in my locker I would think he was trying to end whatever it is we have started.

I have a sinking feeling in my stomach, one that is coated in guilt, fear, and small pieces of rejection.

The note I found today was simple and sweet.

"You look extra beautiful today... P.S. Don't forget to smile"

As I fold it back up and slide it back into my locker a pair of hands sneak in and snatch it off the shelf.

"What is this? A love note?" Layla questions and my heart is in my throat.

I reach for it as quickly as I can and she holds it out of my grasp. Shit.

"Uh, no. It's nothing." I blush.

"Ohhhhh, Sydney has a secret admirer!" Layla gushes.

"Seriously, give it back. It's really nothing." I beg.

"Okay, okay, geesh. Don't get so worked up." She laughs throwing up her hands.

I place the note carefully back in my locker and join her with a very soft laugh playing it off the best I can.

"Well, I expect some details about this, whether you want to give them or not." As she laces her arm in mine as we make our way down the hallway.

And that was the first time I had to lie to Layla about who it was I was involved with and it was the first time the guilt smacked me directly in the face. Not my finest hour of friendship.

Trying to make up for the heaviness of guilt I make plans with her for that night. Her parents were sticklers about not going out on a school night,  which left our only option for me to come over to her house for dinner and study. I tried really hard to keep all my focus on Layla. 

I don't even text Brooks to tell him I'll be at his house. Tonight is about my friend, not him. 

I officially feel like the worst human for what I'm doing, so I need to spend some time with her without her brother being in the back of my mind. I'm not sure it's even possible, but I need to try.