Fight [AsahixNishinoya]

Chap 4

Once I made sure all the kids had gone home, I set off for my own. It was already dusk and the remaining light of the sun slowly faded out of the twilight sky. With the volleyball tucked under my left arm, I strolled back home.

It was quiet, which gave me the opportunity to think. The first thing that came to mind was Asahi. I grimaced. Playing volleyball with the kids allowed me to forget about him for a while but now the wound felt as fresh as ever. “So I like him, huh..” I muttered to myself. It was.. odd. I’ve always seen him as a friend and nothing more, since I've been supressing my sexuality due to internalized homophobia- Plus, queer couples aren't common around this area. However, there was something about admitting that I like him that just sits right with me. A dumb grin made its way to my lips. But it was gone as quickly as it came. I stopped walking. 

Looking up at the stars, I whispered, “I hurt him..” My screams, his eerie silence… I screwed my eyes shut. This sucks, so freaking badly. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, followed by another and another… The emotions I’ve been bottling up for the past few days spilled out. Us losing the match with Date Tech, the fight with Asahi, getting scolded by the principal, suspension, the disappointed faces of my teammates… Soon, I was gasping for air as the tears continued to fall. I squatted down, afraid of falling over. Then, I pushed my fist into my mouth. I don’t want to disturb the residents, plus the sound of my own sobbing is really fucking pathetic. I bit down on it. It hurt. But the pain is welcomed. 

I stayed like that for a good while before I could stand up and continue my way home. That cry was needed. I’m embarrassed but it definitely helps. I exhaled slowly, trying to relax my tense shoulders. Maybe this suspension is a good thing. A break from everything sounds great. But then his face appeared in my mind again. I won’t be able to see him. I chuckled sadly. I guess I could use this time to mend my feelings too.