Bad hugs (platonic or romantic anxceit)

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Ignore me projecting onto Janus and just enjoy this (hopefully heartwarming) fluff.

Also Janus is trans in this AU. Dwi. (driving while intoxicated! no, deal with it- ok I'll shut up now)

TW: two mild swear words, being cold/shivering, food mention, crying, implied transphobia

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Janus had just come back from a walk outdoors in the early evening, maybe around five or six o'clock. It was mid-autumn, and since they lived closer to the northern hemisphere, it was decently chilly outside. Of course, to add on to that chill, he had forgotten to wear a jacket and had only a thin sweatshirt on, like the idiot he thought he was.

He rushed in the front door, hurriedly closing it behind him to be sure not to let too much cold air in, although to be honest, it wouldn't really change the temperature of the air inside; it wasn't quite as chilly as he thought it was, he had simply been outdoors for a bit too long.

He curled up on the couch as soon as he could, too lazy to get a blanket. And then obviously someone just had to turn on the AC right at that moment, and even though he had been inside for a bit and logically he should have been warmer, he was still quite shivery.

He sat there for a while, occasionally checking his phone for notifications, but mostly just sitting there, overthinking, pondering existence, overthinking, staring off pointlessly into space, and, obviously, overthinking. A couple of the other sides passed by him towards the kitchen or their rooms, offering a nod his way or a quick hint of a smile as they walked by, but nobody really stayed or talked to him, which, to be honest, he didn't much mind; he was perfectly fine sitting on his own and getting lost in thought or overanalyzing every conversation he'd ever had.

Every once in awhile, he'd get chills again and curl closer in on himself, desperately striving to gain warmth, but for the most part, he merely sat there.

Eventually, someone decided it was dinnertime, and since nobody actually felt like cooking that night- it was just a lazy night- and day, to be completely honest- for all of them- they ordered a pizza. Logan and Roman were still working on a project upstairs, and God only knows where Remus had run off to, so it was just a few of them eating together.

Despite them eating at the same time, they ate in different spots. Patton sat informally at the counter while Virgil was eating perched on the tabletop. Janus was sitting back over on the couch to keep himself as warm as possible, of course.

No, he had not gotten over those chills yet, and no, he didn't know why, and yes, he was impossibly frustrated with why the hell they wouldn't just go away.

Finally, Janus finished his pizza and when he walked over to set his dishes in the dishwasher, Virgil was finishing up as well- Patton had excused himself a few minutes earlier to go do something that had to do with puppies- and he noticed how cold the other side looked.

"You're still cold?" He inquired before continuing, "You came inside like forty-five minutes ago; how is it that you're still so cold?"

"I don't know, Virgil, if I did, wouldn't I have stopped this by now?" The snek boi rebutted, his frustration ebbing into his speech.

Virgil sighed audibly, setting down his dish and reaching out his arms, "Come here. Maybe body heat will help," he suggested.

Janus made a face.

"Oh come on, dude, I'm not that bad of a hugger,"

Janus shuffled closer slowly as if he was worried that if he moved too fast, he might scare Virgil off. As he came closer, Virgil wrapped his arms around him- gently but firmly. The kind of way that's comforting and secure without causing you to feel trapped.

Janus slouched, not really hugging Virgil back, and instead, he held his own arms, basically hugging himself so that he would have a double-hug for optimal coziness. His head was tucked underneath Virgil's chin, and it was remarkably comforting to be able to hide from the world in this way, even if only for a few minutes.

Virgil abruptly interrupted the silence, "Goodness, you're shivering," He remarked surprisedly, pulling Janus even closer, "Why didn't you get a blanket before?"

The snake-like figure only shrugged in response, all his energy gone both from the stress of his day as well as his body's efforts to conserve body heat. He couldn't stop ruminating about, well, everything, and it was just such a relief to be held in someone's arms and to feel secure and finally warm that he couldn't stop himself.

Virgil noticed as the shivering turned into shaking, quickly recognizing that he wasn't only cold anymore.

"Hey, you ok?" He asked gently, his voice barely above a whisper.

He only shook harder, nuzzling further into the warmth of Virgil and his hoodie, stuttering the beginnings of sentences and then stopping himself and taking deep, hiccupping breaths as he realized he wouldn't be able to finish them.

"Shhh, it's ok, I've got you. You're safe." Virgil whispered reassuringly, tenderly starting to rub his back.

After a few minutes and some more soothing affirmations in hushed voices, the tears seemed to recede. Maybe a side or two walked in on them and heard the shaky breathing, but they quickly ascertained the intimacy of the moment after making eye contact with Virgil and disregarded whatever task it was that they needed to complete in that space.

Janus pulled away slightly from Virgil, not making eye contact but wiping his eyes, and only now starting to be embarrassed over falling apart so easily. He had just had such an arduous day, and it was so exhausting, and transphobes are just such dickheads, and he just didn't want to deal with the world anymore.

Virgil waited patiently for Janus to compose himself, stroking his hair, which had become slightly ruffled from the static of rubbing against Virgil's shirt- he had taken off his bowler hat when he was curled up on the couch, somewhat unconsciously, as he was engrossed in his not-quite-rational thoughts.

Janus sniffled quietly and wrapped his arms around Virgil, squeezing tight for only a moment to communicate a non-verbal thank you, his head still tucked down. Virgil smiled. They hadn't had a moment like this in a while, and although the circumstances weren't exactly ideal, it was still nice to be able to be vulnerable with each other again.

Eventually, Janus mustered the energy and composure to be able to say, "Thanks," as he was pulling away from the hug and wiping his eyes- which were a bit puffy now- again.

It was an unspoken understanding between the two that Janus didn't have to be sorry. Everyone has their bad days, or sometimes more than just one. And he knew that there was no reason to apologize for having a justifiable reaction to whatever is happening in your life.

"See, Virge, you're such a bad hugger that it made me cry," Janus mumbled, still sniveling a bit.

Virgil chuckled in response, "I'm so terribly sorry. I'll never hug you again."

"Good!"

They both were aware that on another day, who knows how far from then, their positions would be swapped, but until then, they decided to curl up on the couch and watch some crime shows together with heated and weighted blankets for Janus and Virgil respectively.

At some point, Roman joined them, hopping on the couch and not saying a word about the slight redness of Janus' eyes or the way he was protectively curled in on himself, but instead cuddling up to the others and theorizing about the show. Which, of course, resulted in a very loud "SHHHH!" but it was all in good fun.

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I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did, and I'm sorry for being slow at writing but I'm also gonna stop apologizing for being slow cause it's probably getting annoying by now. I'm just gonna update when I update.

I hope you have a great morning/day/afternoon/evening/night!

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