Maribat one shots

more incorrect quotes

Tim: I'm so useless.
Marinette: No!
Damian: she's right, you're not useless Drake, you can be used as a bad example.

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Marinette: You look so cute when you are angry!
Damian: Well, now I'm going to look FUCKI** ADORABLE!

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Tim: You are very unapproachable.
Marinette: And yet here you are.

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Marinette: When I was small-
Jason: (snickers)
Marinette: What?
Jason: Was?
Bonus
Dick: Woh! Who broke your legs Jason?
Jason: Don't ask.

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Bruce: Today we will learn how to take down someone taller than us.
Small! Marinette: Make them shorter!
Bruce: You can't decrease someone's height Mon Chou.
Small! Marinette: (pouting) I can. Jay-Jay come here!
Jason: Yes pixie.
Small! Marinette: Plagg claws out!
(hits Jason where the sun doesn't shine hard, which causes Jason to fall on his knees)
Small! Marinette: That's for eating my candy sucker!
Batfamily: 🤯😰 shit....
Alfred: Meet me in the living room young masters, master Bruce.

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What if Lila was a doctor?
Random patient: My throat hurts when I breath.
Lila: Then don't breath. You aren't going to die, if you don't breath for 2 days. Trust me I had made a record of not breathing.

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Dick: Talking about beautiful boys....
Marinette: Are we talking about you?
Dick:... Marry me 💍

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Dick, trying to be flirty: you know what's the most beautiful thing in the world?
Marinette, who is done with the world: Blood. Death.

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Marinette: I am attracted to dumbasses.
Dick: Is platipus the dad of penguin?
Marinette, preparing a wedding cake: You are such an idiot.

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Damian: I'm physically and emotionally attached to you and I think I'm too much attracted to you for it to be normal and Grayson is talking in very puzzling manner so I'm here to ask you, Do you like coffee? I love pets and I will good to share them with you, just don't be an imbecile.
Marinette: .....
Marinette: Pardon? Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit?
Damian: (bows)

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Marinette: Fuck you!
Jason: Of course.
Later
Dick: where were you two?
Jason: She was fucking me.

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Damian: It's dark in here, we need some light.
Adrien: I got it.
Marinette: If you are going to stomp on your lightning snickers I'll murder you.
Adrien: (silently lowers his foot)

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Batman: I am finally able to change it!
Marinette (excited): You are letting me change your costume.
Jason: your morals?
Tim: The gadgets?
Damian: Are you changing your thoughts about me engaging with criminals alone?
Alfred: Your habits master Bruce?
Batman: ......
Batman: No I'm changing the name of the museum featuring us to "bat museum."

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Marinette: Bruce honey, I'm going to shopping. Add whatever you want.
In the shopping mall
Marinette: WHat ThE HELL!
•Conditioner Gordon
•Batpen
•Cereal Crane
•Batshampoo
•Super-shaver

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Batman: I have a plan on how to get MarinDuChen away from Joker.
Tim: Isn't she a criminal?
Batman: She was manipulated into becoming a criminal, she-
Jason: Why can't you just straightforward say it. Just say it you want Joker's girlfriend because you are jealous that joker got a cute girl.
Batman: .....
Dick: Oh no! He didn't deny it!

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The first meeting of Damian with Marinette
Damian: Listen here you little pest-
Marinette: Ooh this looks expensive (looking at the watch on her wrist THAT WAS SURPRISINGLY SIMILAR TO HIS WATCH)
Damian: You stealed my watch!
Marinette (not paying attention): hello! Someone there? Does this thing you wore in your ear even works?
Damian: Give it back or..(unsheathes his katana, well would have if there was a katana) WHAT!
Marinette: (holding his katana) wow this is very sharp. Do you behead people who belittle you?
Damian: I will-
Marinette: (already petting Alfred the cat) hmm aren't you such a cutie~
Damian: BUT ALFRED YOU WERE HOME!
Marinette: Nice ass by the way.
Damian: (looks away) (intense blushing)
Damian: Where did she go?
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Buttons
Marinette: What is the easiest way to know what a button does.
Jason: Press it.
BONUS
Marinette:....
Jason: What?
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TO EVERYONE WHOSE REQUEST IS PENDING:
If you are wondering why I'm doing Tumblr asks and not the requests in this book, I only have to write a small, unfinished story while I will write a whole chapter here. I haven't forget but it'll take time