Great Girls(Victoria Pedretti)

C. 6🕰

"Mom, for the umpteenth time, I didn't move anything in the living room, " I fibbed, holding my phone up to my ear with my arm while I was getting ready for my first and only class of the day that happened to be Greek History.

I stuffed my textbook into my red knapsack that was lying on my desk by the window. Below the white sill was a memo that reminded me to close the window when I come back after class because there was a supposed snowfall reporting heading our way in Brown.

The professor complained about how I touched her labia bust because it was facing south instead of east when she came back.

I rolled my eyes, sighing at my mother's silly need to get upset because her sculpture was facing another direction.

I grabbed my Sacramento green Hartley lanyard and snapped my bag shut with the button as I pulled the strap over my left arm, where I couldn't hear the professor screeching in my ear.

I walked towards the door and turned the knob to hear the most God-awful sound that christened my ears every time my roommate and I left our room.

Everyone on our floor could tell when Claudia and I were setting foot outside or inside our room.

"Listen, mom. I would love to sit here and chat about your lovely labia, " I said, realizing that Lilah's Wing was not my living room, and I could not go about shouting about how much I admired my mom's vagina as people will think that I have developed the Oedipus Complex, despite being a woman.

"But, I have to go, " I pulled my phone away from my ear and ended the call as I made eye contact with a girl consuming a fruit roll-up. Her Fruit by the Foot was dangling out of her mouth like the tongue of a dog on a hot summer day.

I smiled nervously, ignoring her deprecating glance. "You know, once in a while, I like to thank my mother for giving me life and pushing me out from her vagina. It's gross, but...here I am!" I laughed.

"You should try it sometime, " I say, walking past her, praying to all gods in different religions because one, I'm not close-minded, and I hope that this girl doesn't think I'm a weirdo.

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My professor had ended class ten minutes early today, so I chose to stop by Spencer's to get some toothpaste as I was running out of it. Claudia also asked me to pick up some tampons for her because she was on her period.

I headed inside the vibrant lavender store as the bright ceiling lights wafted over my head. Before I could take myself to the aisle of sanitary napkins and whatnot, I got distracted by juicy tabloids, being the nosey person I am.

You see, the thing about me is that I live for drama. I love to watch things unravel from a distance, but I, myself, and I will not surround myself with anything that involves pulling more than heartstrings. Yes, I am talking about pulling hair, calling someone offensive slurs that demean and mocks the entire female sex, and ultimately undermines how far the OG feminists have come to fight for sisterhood and equality among all over some boy who can't even wipe his ass.

That's not cute; that's depressing.

After spending my time browsing irrelevant celebrity love affairs and scandals, I picked up a cranberry basket and flung a pack of mini chocolate brands that make me break out in hives of pimples.

I finally made it to the aisle of personal feminine hygiene products; I scanned the shelves for Claudia's preferred tampon brand, a much more organic brand called Suzy's. It was wrapped in a pink iridescent cover that was enough to distract you from the minimum of chlorine dioxide. The same chemical compound some senseless adolescent once said would cure a pandemic once upon a time.